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From Focus on the Family All children whine when they get tired or bored. Adults do it, too. But some children whine so much that it becomes like fingernails on a chalkboard. Children who whine constantly are not always doing it to annoy you. They are usually just looking for a way to get attention, or to get what they want. Crying and whining worked when they were little, so they still do it. Parents are often so annoyed by it that they give in — which only adds to the problem later. When children whine, say to them firmly: “You know that’s not how we ask for things. If you want something, speak in your nice voice. Then I can understand you.” When they do, praise them for speaking clearly. Above all, keep your own whining in check, since children learn by example. With a little time, every home can be a whine-free zone. From TODAY, Voices - Wednesday, 08-Sep-2010 ----- Related articles by Zemanta How to Help With Homework: Ending the Daily Homework Hassle (brighthub.com)...

By Dr Bill Maier It’s the little things that make children feel special. Things that take almost no time and effort but add up to great memories for their future. Give thanks for every member of the family, for each child by name. Say something like, “Thank you Jinghui, for the way you light up a room when you walk in. We’re so blessed to have such a bright and joyful child.” Speak blessings into your children’s lives through your words and see how it affects their self-worth. The next time you take a trip in the car or walk to the MRT station, ask each child to share their favourite things about their brothers or sisters. Take turns talking about what makes each child unique and special. You’ll be doing more than building your children’s self-image; you’ll be teaching your children how to love and appreciate each other. It isn’t difficult to make children feel special. It just takes a little extra creativity. From TODAY, Voices - Tuesday, 27-July-2010 ----- Related ...

By Dr Bill Maier What do you do when you love your child but cannot seem to get along with him? All of us have days when our children grate at our nerves. With some parents, however, those days are the norm. We all love our children dearly but sometimes their personalities are so different from ours that we clash with them at every turn. Begin by reminding yourself that they are not trying to drive you crazy on purpose. They merely think differently. Children are created with a unique set of gifts and qualities, and these things make them who they are. Some of the very traits that you struggle to deal with when they are four years old may catapult them towards great things later in life. Instead of trying to change your child’s personality, learn to embrace it. Even if you do clash in the process. From TODAY, Voices - Wednesday, 30-June-2010 ----- Related articles by Zemanta Rob Asghar: Generation 'N' for 'Narcissist': Pushover Parents and the Kids ...

By Dr Bill Maier There’s a reason why mother birds push their babies out of the nest. If she didn’t, some of them would never leave. A lot of grown children are the same way. When they’re 15, they’re chomping at the rein to grow up, but then 25 comes around and they’re still hanging around the house. There’s nothing wrong with letting grown children stay, as long as you’ve taken the time to define some important ground rules. First, the arrangement must be mutually agreeable. Let them know that having a key to your door is a privilege, not an eternal right. And second, they need to take on the role of an adult. Tell them they’re welcome to live in your house, but only as an adult boarder. They should be expected to take care of their own cleaning and expenses. Treating grown kids like children only stifles their growth and maturity, and that’s not good for anyone — especially your child. From TODAY, Voices - Friday, 04-June-2010 ----- Related articles by Zemanta 5 review...

Image by Graela via Flickr By Dr James Dobson Sometimes being a good parent requires the skills of a detective, decoding the messages behind your child ’s actions. The most successful parents have the skill to see through the eyes of their child. Unless we master this, we may react in a harmful way. For example, when a two-year-old screams and cries at bedtime, one must find out what he’s communicating. If he is genuinely frightened by the dark, the appropriate response should be different than if he is merely protesting about having to go to bed. A child’s defiant actions may be asking the question , “Are you in charge or am I?” Or your child’s antagonism may be saying, “I feel unloved now that I’m stuck with that screaming baby brother – Mum used to care for us; now nobody wants me – I hate everybody.” Perhaps the toughest task in parenthood is to recognise the difference between these two distinct motives. That’s why raising children is such a lofty skill that can never be r...

Image via Wikipedia By Dr Bill Maier Is your child prepared for the changes of puberty ? If so, are you? All children are different and reach puberty at different ages. Boys normally reach it at around the age of 14 and girls at about 12. That’s why parents need to start talking to their children about the changes they can expect from puberty long before it arrives. Kids are usually more open to discussing it before the changes have begun. If we wait until it’s too late, they may feel more uncomfortable. It’s also important to be clear and specific about what changes they can expect. Don’t assume they already know. What they’ve learned from friends and other sources may not be the full story. And while you’re discussing it, don’t forget to explain your values regarding purity and why these values are important to you. They’ll be more likely to follow your principles if you state them clearly, and then model them. From TODAY, Voices - Thursday, 08-April-2010 ----- Blogged wit...

Image via Wikipedia By Dr Bill Maier At the age of 19, many children head off to university , and parents tend to think their job is done. But just because your kids are older doesn’t mean they don’t need a parent anymore. You’ll always be mum and dad — it’s just your role that has changed. For 19 years you’ve disciplined and directed your kids, but now it’s time to become their adviser and friend. Trying to control them after they’re grown will only push them away. But all children need comfort, advice and encouragement — even if they are grown up. Give your kids the freedom to become their own people. It takes a lot of restraint to allow your children to make their own decisions, but it’s the only way that they’ll learn true independence. Be their friend, and be there when they need you, but beyond that, learn to let go. From TODAY, Voices - Wednesday, 24-March-2010 ----- Blogged with the Flock Browser Related articles by Zemanta Common Mistakes in Parenting (...

Image via Wikipedia By Dr Bill Maier When kids start to get insolent with their parents, it’s almost always a symptom of a greater problem in the relationship. Kids don’t simply become defiant and disrespectful overnight. They usually learn that behaviour through watching how the rest of the family interact with one another. When your child starts to talk back, ask yourself, “Am I modelling a caring and kind attitude when I talk to my spouse and kids?” If the answer is no, then you can begin to see the problem. And the solution is to start modelling the kind of respectful behaviour you’d like to see in your children . Kids tend to mimic what they see in their parents. If you want to raise kind and considerate kids, become a kind and considerate parent. From TODAY, Voices - Monday, 22-March-2010 ----- Blogged with the Flock Browser Related articles by Zemanta Tips to be a Better Mother (teabreak.pk) Schools should take more bad parents to court, says minister (gua...

By Dr James Dobson Sheltering a child from the consequences of his own actions now could help create an immature adult later. One of the prime objectives during the pre-adolescent years is to teach the child that actions lead to consequences, and yet this connection is often interrupted. A 10-year-old steals candy from a store and he’s caught and released to his parents, and nothing happens. A 15-yearold takes the keys to the family car and the parents pay the fine for his driving without a licence. All through childhood such loving parents in their misguided efforts to shield the child from pain have stood between his action and the natural consequences that flow from them. It’s possible under these circumstances for a young man or woman to enter adulthood not really knowing that life can bite. He may become a grown-up adolescent constantly needing his parents to bail him out of trouble. So how does one break this scenario? By linking actions to consequences. If Jane carele...

By Dr James Dobson Flattery will get you nowhere, we're told. That's not necessarily true in most areas of life, but it's surprisingly accurate when you're dealing with children . When it comes to children, flattery or inflationary praise is unnecessary, and it'll get you nowhere. When Junior is told over and over that his every move is wonderful, he quickly catches onto your verbal game, and your words lose their meaning. Therefore it's important to distinguish between the concepts of flattery vs. praise. Flattery is unearned. Flattery occurs when you heap compliments on the child for something general that he or she did not achieve. Praise, on the other hand, is used to reinforce positive, constructive behaviour. It should be highly specific, rather than general. An honest praise from mothers and fathers is more likely to result in high self-esteem in their children. As parents, we need to be on the lookout for opportunities to offer genuine, well-deserved ...

Image by paulmorriss via Flickr By Dr Bill Maier Becoming a mother for the first time is a major milestone. But how do you know if you're prepared to be a good mother? Most women are elated when they find out that they're expecting their first child. Then they have nine months to worry about what kind of mother they will be. They often look back on their own childhood and wonder how their positive and negative experiences will affect their ability to bond with their baby. It's a real concern — and not entirely unfounded. How our parents related to us has a huge influence on how we will relate to our own children . Those who struggled to get close to their parents will likely struggle. It's not a foregone conclusion, but something to think about. If your memories of childhood are painful and bitter, I encourage you to seek a good counselor, just to make sure you don't repeat those negative habits. From TODAY, Voices – Wednesday, 15-Jul-2009 Related articles by Zema...

Image via Wikipedia By Dr James Dobson One of the most difficult choices parents must face is deciding when to let children suffer the consequences of their actions and when they need rescuing. The road to success is fraught with failures. Every winner has at one time felt the pain of defeat. Our children must go through hard times for them to grow. Yet, it is tough to stand back and watch them struggle. Our love for them makes us vulnerable to their needs. Life brings pain and sorrow to little people. And we hurt when they hurt. When others ridicule them, when they feel lonely, when they fail at something important, when they cry, when physical harm threatens them. These are the trials that seem unbearable to those of us who stand and watch from the sidelines. We want to protect them from life's sting, to hold them within our embrace. Yet, there are times when we must let them struggle. Children can't grow without taking risks. Toddlers can't walk without falling down. S...