From FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
TODAY • Friday • June 6, 2008
by Dr Bill Maier
Looking for a way to spend a holiday that will really create great memories for your kids?
Why don’t you try camping?
I know, I know ... You hate bugs! And nobody likes going days without a shower and the comfort of a soft mattress.
But the rewards of camping make it more than worth the effort and inconvenience.
There’s nothing like getting out in nature in order to bring family members closer together.
There are no TVs or computers or video games to distract you – just hours of being alone with your kids, taking walks and roasting marshmallows over the barbeque grill.
Try camping in East Coast Park and go to sleep listening to the sea.
Or, book a bungalow in St Johns Island or just take sleeping bags over and camp under the stars.
You will be creating lifetime memories for both you and your kids.
Friday, June 06, 2008
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Of Sharks' Fins and High Rollers
From Today daily, 05-Jun-2008 edition
i say
OF SHARKS’ FINS AND HIGH ROLLERS
LIANG DINGZI
AS someone who abhors any form of cruelty to animals, whether inflicted out of perversion or for commercial purposes, I applaud Resorts World at Sentosa (RWS) for its decision to keep sharks’ fin off its menu when it opens in 2010. I hope other restaurants will soon follow suit.
I find the commitment, however, somewhat half-hearted and disconcerting when it was revealed that high rollers at the resort may continue to feast on the Chinese delicacy. This is clearly a case of robbing Peter to pay Paul, negating the good that would have been otherwise achieved.
Worse, it suggests that compassion is a tradeable commodity — that wealth buys the right to be above the civilised norm that is being promoted. It does not matter that the consumption by high rollers will be confined to private rooms.
However surreptitious, it does not disguise the fact that some sharks had their flippers chopped off before they were thrown back into the sea to die an agonizing death.
Surely, it would be an insult to suggest that high rollers, many of whom are said to be businessmen and perhaps leaders in their fields, are less compassionate than the plebians of the casino community.
Besides, this is an academic proposition. The dish is expensive and, therefore, less affordable for those whose pockets are not as deep.
The outcry to ban sharks’ fins is not new. Many premium airlines — including Singapore Airlines — which used to serve the delicacy in its first class cabins have long ceased the practice.
These airlines have shown that there are alternatives that are just as good, and they have not lost their customers because the dish is absent from their in-flight menus.
By the same argument, surely it is not the sharks’ fin that will attract the high rollers to the integrated resort.
RWS’s launch of a marine conservation fund is laudable, so too is its openness to work in consultation with wildlife welfare groups.
However, it is ironical, if not somewhat hypocritical, that while fronting such efforts as a socially-responsible corporation, they continue to support the slaughtering of sharks for their fins just because they can never say no to a high roller.
Social responsibility includes practising what one preaches. While RWS has said it will “educate and persuade” its high-heeled patrons, it is a pity that many more sharks will continue to be subject to such senseless killing.
If it is a matter of principle, why wait till then, especially when it is not even known when? You do not buy time to halt an undesirable activity.
Mahatma Gandhi once said: “The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way in which its animals are treated.”
Sharks may not be the best-loved animals in the world, but there is no reason to treat them barbarously. They may not be harvested by us, but we do not have to be accomplices in crime.
RWS has taken what may be viewed as the first step, which is not something to be pooh-poohed. I only wish it was just a one and only step, without exception.
What’s your view? Email us at news@newstoday.com.sg
i say
OF SHARKS’ FINS AND HIGH ROLLERS
LIANG DINGZI
AS someone who abhors any form of cruelty to animals, whether inflicted out of perversion or for commercial purposes, I applaud Resorts World at Sentosa (RWS) for its decision to keep sharks’ fin off its menu when it opens in 2010. I hope other restaurants will soon follow suit.
I find the commitment, however, somewhat half-hearted and disconcerting when it was revealed that high rollers at the resort may continue to feast on the Chinese delicacy. This is clearly a case of robbing Peter to pay Paul, negating the good that would have been otherwise achieved.
Worse, it suggests that compassion is a tradeable commodity — that wealth buys the right to be above the civilised norm that is being promoted. It does not matter that the consumption by high rollers will be confined to private rooms.
However surreptitious, it does not disguise the fact that some sharks had their flippers chopped off before they were thrown back into the sea to die an agonizing death.
Surely, it would be an insult to suggest that high rollers, many of whom are said to be businessmen and perhaps leaders in their fields, are less compassionate than the plebians of the casino community.
Besides, this is an academic proposition. The dish is expensive and, therefore, less affordable for those whose pockets are not as deep.
The outcry to ban sharks’ fins is not new. Many premium airlines — including Singapore Airlines — which used to serve the delicacy in its first class cabins have long ceased the practice.
These airlines have shown that there are alternatives that are just as good, and they have not lost their customers because the dish is absent from their in-flight menus.
By the same argument, surely it is not the sharks’ fin that will attract the high rollers to the integrated resort.
RWS’s launch of a marine conservation fund is laudable, so too is its openness to work in consultation with wildlife welfare groups.
However, it is ironical, if not somewhat hypocritical, that while fronting such efforts as a socially-responsible corporation, they continue to support the slaughtering of sharks for their fins just because they can never say no to a high roller.
Social responsibility includes practising what one preaches. While RWS has said it will “educate and persuade” its high-heeled patrons, it is a pity that many more sharks will continue to be subject to such senseless killing.
If it is a matter of principle, why wait till then, especially when it is not even known when? You do not buy time to halt an undesirable activity.
Mahatma Gandhi once said: “The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way in which its animals are treated.”
Sharks may not be the best-loved animals in the world, but there is no reason to treat them barbarously. They may not be harvested by us, but we do not have to be accomplices in crime.
RWS has taken what may be viewed as the first step, which is not something to be pooh-poohed. I only wish it was just a one and only step, without exception.
What’s your view? Email us at news@newstoday.com.sg
Court Your Spouse
From FOCUS ON THE FAMILY, Today, 05-Jun-2008 edition
COURT YOUR SPOUSE
By Dr Bill Maier
How well do you build up your mate’s self-esteem? Drs Les and Leslie Parrott have written a great book called The Love List. In it, they outline some powerful ideas to make your spouse feel special.
For instance, try looking for ways to praise your husband or wife. It doesn’t have to be a big deal, just a simple word of encouragement.
Tell them, “You look really great today,” or “I really appreciate what a great Mum you are.”
When you’re with friends, make it a point of bringing up one of your spouse’s good qualities. Say something like, “Kelly is an amazing cook. You should try her lasagna.”
You’ll be surprised how many brownie points you score with a simple compliment.
When you’re alone, don’t forget to tell your spouse how much you love them.
All of us need to know that we’re loved and appreciated. Everyone likes to be courted, even if they’ve been married for 20 years.
COURT YOUR SPOUSE
By Dr Bill Maier
How well do you build up your mate’s self-esteem? Drs Les and Leslie Parrott have written a great book called The Love List. In it, they outline some powerful ideas to make your spouse feel special.
For instance, try looking for ways to praise your husband or wife. It doesn’t have to be a big deal, just a simple word of encouragement.
Tell them, “You look really great today,” or “I really appreciate what a great Mum you are.”
When you’re with friends, make it a point of bringing up one of your spouse’s good qualities. Say something like, “Kelly is an amazing cook. You should try her lasagna.”
You’ll be surprised how many brownie points you score with a simple compliment.
When you’re alone, don’t forget to tell your spouse how much you love them.
All of us need to know that we’re loved and appreciated. Everyone likes to be courted, even if they’ve been married for 20 years.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Quotations from Yves Saint Laurent
(lifted from my paper daily, 03-Jun-2008 edition)
Quotes from the legendary designer, furnished by the Fondation Pierre Berge Yves Saint Laurent:
“I participated in the transformation of my era. I did it with clothes, which is surely less important than music, architecture, painting… but whatever it’s worth, I did it.” (2002)
“I always believed that style was more important than fashion. They are rare, those who imposed their style, while fashion makers are so numerous.” (1993)
“The most beautiful clothes than can dress a woman are the arms of the man she loves. But for those who haven’t had the fortune of finding this happiness, I am there.” (1983)
“I tried to show that fashion is an art… I created for my era and I tried to foresee what tomorrow would be.” (1983)
Quotes from the legendary designer, furnished by the Fondation Pierre Berge Yves Saint Laurent:
“I participated in the transformation of my era. I did it with clothes, which is surely less important than music, architecture, painting… but whatever it’s worth, I did it.” (2002)
“I always believed that style was more important than fashion. They are rare, those who imposed their style, while fashion makers are so numerous.” (1993)
“The most beautiful clothes than can dress a woman are the arms of the man she loves. But for those who haven’t had the fortune of finding this happiness, I am there.” (1983)
“I tried to show that fashion is an art… I created for my era and I tried to foresee what tomorrow would be.” (1983)
Great Hornbill
Well, I saw on the news this article about documenting hornbills, and this one is in Singapore.
This photo was lifted from another page. Credit goes to the author. To see it, click here.
More is not always better
Below is an article lifted from Today daily, a comment to a comment to a comment on additional lessons to schoolchildren conducted during school holidays. I agree with this one. Do you?
-----
More lessons are not always better
Letter from HO KONG LOON
I REFER to the letter “Why lament extra school lessons?” (May 29) by Goh Kian Huat. The writer does not understand what goes on in our schools. Generally, in the education sector, the perception is that more is better. The reason is obvious: School heads favour teachers who go the extra mile, giving extra lessons being one of the requisites.
Teachers conduct supplementary and remedial lessons during term time. In some instances, these extra lessons are held three times a week, each one lasting two to three hours. I know of a school where extra lessons were held on weekends.
Even so, during term time, many teachers are finding it increasingly difficult to teach students who are inattentive, disruptive, noisy, quarrelsome, lazy or just indifferent.
Extra lessons do not add to the learners’ academic storehouse if they are just not keen to learn. Extra lessons are only necessary for slower and weaker learners to reinforce key points of lessons or to remedy pupils’ weaknesses through extra tests and discussions.
It is not mandatory to have extra lessons just to assuage the angst of nervous or demanding parents. Equating conducting extra lessons to diligence or commitment misses the issue altogether. The law of diminishing returns negates the assumption that more is always better.
-----
More lessons are not always better
Letter from HO KONG LOON
I REFER to the letter “Why lament extra school lessons?” (May 29) by Goh Kian Huat. The writer does not understand what goes on in our schools. Generally, in the education sector, the perception is that more is better. The reason is obvious: School heads favour teachers who go the extra mile, giving extra lessons being one of the requisites.
Teachers conduct supplementary and remedial lessons during term time. In some instances, these extra lessons are held three times a week, each one lasting two to three hours. I know of a school where extra lessons were held on weekends.
Even so, during term time, many teachers are finding it increasingly difficult to teach students who are inattentive, disruptive, noisy, quarrelsome, lazy or just indifferent.
Extra lessons do not add to the learners’ academic storehouse if they are just not keen to learn. Extra lessons are only necessary for slower and weaker learners to reinforce key points of lessons or to remedy pupils’ weaknesses through extra tests and discussions.
It is not mandatory to have extra lessons just to assuage the angst of nervous or demanding parents. Equating conducting extra lessons to diligence or commitment misses the issue altogether. The law of diminishing returns negates the assumption that more is always better.
A Bullied Child
From FOCUS ON THE FAMILY, Today, 04-Jun-2008 edition
A Bullied Child
By Dr Bill Maier
Would you know if your child was being bullied in school?
Most of us think we know our kids pretty well, but they don’t always give clear clues about what’s going on in their world.
When kids are bullied it’s embarrassing for them and they may not want their parents to know about it, even though they need someone to confide in.
There are some signs we can watch out for. Some kids may develop irrational fears that they didn’t have before.
When it comes time for school, they may complain of vague physical ailments, such as headaches or stomach pain.
Other kids may develop nightmares, or have trouble sleeping.
Any behaviour that seems out of the ordinary may mean your child is struggling with a bully at school.
Of course, it could also signal a more serious problem. Observant parents are quick to notice these changes and even quicker to step in and help.
Kids who are most reluctant to talk about their problems are usually the ones who need to talk about it most.
A Bullied Child
By Dr Bill Maier
Would you know if your child was being bullied in school?
Most of us think we know our kids pretty well, but they don’t always give clear clues about what’s going on in their world.
When kids are bullied it’s embarrassing for them and they may not want their parents to know about it, even though they need someone to confide in.
There are some signs we can watch out for. Some kids may develop irrational fears that they didn’t have before.
When it comes time for school, they may complain of vague physical ailments, such as headaches or stomach pain.
Other kids may develop nightmares, or have trouble sleeping.
Any behaviour that seems out of the ordinary may mean your child is struggling with a bully at school.
Of course, it could also signal a more serious problem. Observant parents are quick to notice these changes and even quicker to step in and help.
Kids who are most reluctant to talk about their problems are usually the ones who need to talk about it most.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Take Your Bad Breath Away
From Health section, Today daily, 03-Jun-2008 edition
Take Your Bad Breath Away
By Eveline Gan, in collaboration with Health Promotion Board, Singapore
- You can get rid of it byhaving breakfast, drinkinglots of water and eating right
YOU gargle some mouthwash on your way to a hot date, thinking that it will freshen up your breath.
But barely halfway through the rendezvous, your mouth starts to feel dry and that offensive breath you were trying to mask returns at full force, wilting the flowers your date has given you.
If the above scenario sounds familiar to you, you are not alone.
According to American dentist Harold Katz, up to a third of the world’s population suffers from chronic bad breath, or halitosis. Many also have this embarrassing condition from time to time.
Dr Katz, the founder of the Thera-Breath System and The California Breath Clinics in the United States, was in town last week to speak about halitosis at a public education seminar.
A dry mouth — which can occur if you smoke, take certain medication (usually prescribed for high blood pressure or depression) and consume alcohol or coffee — is one of the leading causes of bad breath. Mouth rinses that contain alcohol can also “dry up the mouth and make the breath smell worse”, said Dr Katz. Older people and people who talk a lot — teachers and gossipmongers, remember to stock up on mints — or who are under stress are also at a higher risk of developing a dry mouth.
Dr Katz explained that saliva contains a healthy dose of oxygen, which helps to cleanse anaerobic bacteria. Such bacteria — found beneath the tongue, in the throat and often in the tonsils — thrive in environments without oxygen to produce lousy-smelling sulphur-producing compounds in the breath.
“If you have plenty of saliva, you are less likely to have bad breath because the oxygen in it inhibits an ‘anaerobic’ environment. That’s probably why babies almost never have bad breath — because they are always drooling,” he said.
Dr Koh Chu Guan, a consultant periodontist at the National Dental Centre of Singapore, added that persistent bad breath is also one of the signs of gum, or periodontal, disease. He estimated that about 20 per cent of Singaporeans suffer from severe gum disease.
“The bad breath is usually worse if there are abscesses (boils in the gum) and widespread infection in the mouth,” he added.
Although there are no official statistics to show the number of patients with periodontal disease who suffer from bad breath, Dr Koh said most of his patients have some degree of halitosis before treatment.
“Although not many of my patients specifically complain of having bad breath, a few do get very bothered by it. They might tend to speak with others less or keep their distance. It is very embarrassing for these people,” he said. For these patients, the problem of bad breath is usually resolved with control of their periodontal problem.
And as most people would know, you are what you eat. Certain foods, such as dense protein foods and foods such as garlic and onions that have odorous sulphur compounds, are notorious in making your breath smell bad.
“Food like garlic and onions, when absorbed into the blood stream, are transferred to the lungs where their odour is expelled,” Dr Koh said. “The odour will disappear when the body metabolises the food.”
Other conditions that can trigger bad breath include oral infections (perhaps due to impacted wisdom teeth), dental cavities, flu and other upper respiratory tract infections, post-nasal drip (excess mucus) and tonsillitis.
So, what can be done to nip that foul-smelling breath in the bud?
To prevent a dry mouth, Dr Katz suggested drinking at least six glasses of water daily. Saliva-stimulating foods such as watermelon and celery may also help.
Also, don’t skip breakfast. On why some people turn up at work in the morning with a foul breath, Dr Katz said: “Without breakfast, there is nothing to stimulate saliva in the morning.”
While cleaning the mouth effectively — via flossing, using a non-alcohol-based mouth rinse and brushing the tongue, especially the deeper part — may help in controlling bad breath, Dr Koh said it is important to seek professional advice.
“Your dentist could find the possible contributing factors to the problem and help eliminate them. If your dentist cannot find a dental cause, there could be a medical cause. You will need to see a doctor to confirm this,” said Dr Koh.
---
DON’T KNOW IF YOU HAVE BAD BREATH? HERE’S HOW YOU CAN FIND OUT
Lick the back of your hand. Let that dry for about 10 seconds and then smell your skin. If you notice an odour, you have the dreaded bad breath.
“What you’re doing is to transfer the bacteria from your tongue to another source. When the saliva evaporates, you can smell the sulphur salts,” said Dr Katz.
The “degree” of your bad breath can also be measured by using a breath analyser, which can measure the amount of sulphides present in the breath. The higher the amount of sulphides, the more foul-smelling your breath is.
Breath analysers are available at the National University Hospital’s preventive dentistry department, White Dental Group and The Smile Division Dental Surgeons @ Orchard.
Take Your Bad Breath Away
By Eveline Gan, in collaboration with Health Promotion Board, Singapore
- You can get rid of it byhaving breakfast, drinkinglots of water and eating right
YOU gargle some mouthwash on your way to a hot date, thinking that it will freshen up your breath.
But barely halfway through the rendezvous, your mouth starts to feel dry and that offensive breath you were trying to mask returns at full force, wilting the flowers your date has given you.
If the above scenario sounds familiar to you, you are not alone.
According to American dentist Harold Katz, up to a third of the world’s population suffers from chronic bad breath, or halitosis. Many also have this embarrassing condition from time to time.
Dr Katz, the founder of the Thera-Breath System and The California Breath Clinics in the United States, was in town last week to speak about halitosis at a public education seminar.
A dry mouth — which can occur if you smoke, take certain medication (usually prescribed for high blood pressure or depression) and consume alcohol or coffee — is one of the leading causes of bad breath. Mouth rinses that contain alcohol can also “dry up the mouth and make the breath smell worse”, said Dr Katz. Older people and people who talk a lot — teachers and gossipmongers, remember to stock up on mints — or who are under stress are also at a higher risk of developing a dry mouth.
Dr Katz explained that saliva contains a healthy dose of oxygen, which helps to cleanse anaerobic bacteria. Such bacteria — found beneath the tongue, in the throat and often in the tonsils — thrive in environments without oxygen to produce lousy-smelling sulphur-producing compounds in the breath.
“If you have plenty of saliva, you are less likely to have bad breath because the oxygen in it inhibits an ‘anaerobic’ environment. That’s probably why babies almost never have bad breath — because they are always drooling,” he said.
Dr Koh Chu Guan, a consultant periodontist at the National Dental Centre of Singapore, added that persistent bad breath is also one of the signs of gum, or periodontal, disease. He estimated that about 20 per cent of Singaporeans suffer from severe gum disease.
“The bad breath is usually worse if there are abscesses (boils in the gum) and widespread infection in the mouth,” he added.
Although there are no official statistics to show the number of patients with periodontal disease who suffer from bad breath, Dr Koh said most of his patients have some degree of halitosis before treatment.
“Although not many of my patients specifically complain of having bad breath, a few do get very bothered by it. They might tend to speak with others less or keep their distance. It is very embarrassing for these people,” he said. For these patients, the problem of bad breath is usually resolved with control of their periodontal problem.
And as most people would know, you are what you eat. Certain foods, such as dense protein foods and foods such as garlic and onions that have odorous sulphur compounds, are notorious in making your breath smell bad.
“Food like garlic and onions, when absorbed into the blood stream, are transferred to the lungs where their odour is expelled,” Dr Koh said. “The odour will disappear when the body metabolises the food.”
Other conditions that can trigger bad breath include oral infections (perhaps due to impacted wisdom teeth), dental cavities, flu and other upper respiratory tract infections, post-nasal drip (excess mucus) and tonsillitis.
So, what can be done to nip that foul-smelling breath in the bud?
To prevent a dry mouth, Dr Katz suggested drinking at least six glasses of water daily. Saliva-stimulating foods such as watermelon and celery may also help.
Also, don’t skip breakfast. On why some people turn up at work in the morning with a foul breath, Dr Katz said: “Without breakfast, there is nothing to stimulate saliva in the morning.”
While cleaning the mouth effectively — via flossing, using a non-alcohol-based mouth rinse and brushing the tongue, especially the deeper part — may help in controlling bad breath, Dr Koh said it is important to seek professional advice.
“Your dentist could find the possible contributing factors to the problem and help eliminate them. If your dentist cannot find a dental cause, there could be a medical cause. You will need to see a doctor to confirm this,” said Dr Koh.
---
DON’T KNOW IF YOU HAVE BAD BREATH? HERE’S HOW YOU CAN FIND OUT
Lick the back of your hand. Let that dry for about 10 seconds and then smell your skin. If you notice an odour, you have the dreaded bad breath.
“What you’re doing is to transfer the bacteria from your tongue to another source. When the saliva evaporates, you can smell the sulphur salts,” said Dr Katz.
The “degree” of your bad breath can also be measured by using a breath analyser, which can measure the amount of sulphides present in the breath. The higher the amount of sulphides, the more foul-smelling your breath is.
Breath analysers are available at the National University Hospital’s preventive dentistry department, White Dental Group and The Smile Division Dental Surgeons @ Orchard.
Reducing Stress
From FOCUS ON THE FAMILY, Today, 03-Jun-2008 edition
Reducing Stress
By Dr Bill Maier
So, how you do you deal with the stress of everyday life?
Most people might say that men struggle more with anxiety,
but recent studies show it is actually women who feel more
day-to-day stress. They tend to be programmed to worry more,
and often feel more vulnerable to failure. If this describes you,
maybe it’s time to incorporate some stress-reducing activities
into your life.
One obvious solution is to get plenty of sleep. Learn to turn
the TV off early and cut back on the caffeine. A daily walk
can do wonders to help clear your head and exercise is great
for relieving stress. Ask your doctor how to engage in deep
muscle relaxation a few times during the day.
And most importantly, set aside a time each day for
meditation. A daily quiet time is the best way to bring
perspective to a busy schedule.
Monday, June 02, 2008
My Big Pay Cheque Made Me Miserable
An article lifted from my paper, 02-Jun-2008 edition
by the way…
My big pay cheque made me miserable
By Pamela Skillings
After 12 years climbing the corporate ladder to the upper reaches
of middle management, I found myself facing a surprising career
conundrum: My big pay cheque was making me miserable.
In short, I hated my job, but I was afraid to give up my hard-earned
six-figure salary for what I really wanted – a career as an
entrepreneur.
I enjoyed living in a nice apartment, taking nice vacations
and wearing nice shoes. At the same time, a big part of my identity
was tied up in my success. My sense of professional accomplishment
was determined by the size of my bonus cheques.
Like many of my co-workers, I thought I could eventually earn
enough money to make up for the fact that I dreaded going to work
every day. Then I would be happy, I told myself.
But in fact, my high-paying but soul-draining job was beginning
to take a roll on my personal life. Nobody enjoys hanging out with
a perpetually tired and cranky middle manager.
To be honest, I wasn’t even taking pleasure in my disposable income.
Most of my extra cash went towards medicating my work stress –
over-priced restaurants, tropical vacations and retail therapy.
I traded up to a bigger and nicer apartment, but I didn’t spend
much time in it because I was always at the office justifying my pay.
Eventually, I realised that my salary wasn’t worth the
emotional price I was paying for. I got out my calculator
and figured out the reality of what it would take to make
a change. Once I did the maths, I realised that the budget cuts
after quitting my job wouldn’t be nearly as painful as I’d feared.
I was more than willing to cut back on indulgences like
foamy lattes, shiny highlights and overpriced designer handbags
for a while if it meant that I could escape from corporate America
and strike out on my own. Suddenly, my impossible dream
seems within reach.
The last step in letting go of my financial fears was facing the fact
that my salary had never truly been a reliable safety net after all.
On the other hand, no one can ever take away your talents,
your experience and your skills – the assets that constitute
the only safety net you can even really depend upon.
This understanding finally gave me the courage to say goodbye
to my steady salary and embrace my thrilling – but still scary –
entrepreneur dream.
In the three years since, I’ve learned that I have the skills and drive
to build a successful business. More importantly, I’ve learned that
finding a career that you love is well worth enduring a few
sleepless nights and sacrificing a handbag or two.
The writer is the founder of New York consulting firm
Skillful communications.
by the way…
My big pay cheque made me miserable
By Pamela Skillings
After 12 years climbing the corporate ladder to the upper reaches
of middle management, I found myself facing a surprising career
conundrum: My big pay cheque was making me miserable.
In short, I hated my job, but I was afraid to give up my hard-earned
six-figure salary for what I really wanted – a career as an
entrepreneur.
I enjoyed living in a nice apartment, taking nice vacations
and wearing nice shoes. At the same time, a big part of my identity
was tied up in my success. My sense of professional accomplishment
was determined by the size of my bonus cheques.
Like many of my co-workers, I thought I could eventually earn
enough money to make up for the fact that I dreaded going to work
every day. Then I would be happy, I told myself.
But in fact, my high-paying but soul-draining job was beginning
to take a roll on my personal life. Nobody enjoys hanging out with
a perpetually tired and cranky middle manager.
To be honest, I wasn’t even taking pleasure in my disposable income.
Most of my extra cash went towards medicating my work stress –
over-priced restaurants, tropical vacations and retail therapy.
I traded up to a bigger and nicer apartment, but I didn’t spend
much time in it because I was always at the office justifying my pay.
Eventually, I realised that my salary wasn’t worth the
emotional price I was paying for. I got out my calculator
and figured out the reality of what it would take to make
a change. Once I did the maths, I realised that the budget cuts
after quitting my job wouldn’t be nearly as painful as I’d feared.
I was more than willing to cut back on indulgences like
foamy lattes, shiny highlights and overpriced designer handbags
for a while if it meant that I could escape from corporate America
and strike out on my own. Suddenly, my impossible dream
seems within reach.
The last step in letting go of my financial fears was facing the fact
that my salary had never truly been a reliable safety net after all.
On the other hand, no one can ever take away your talents,
your experience and your skills – the assets that constitute
the only safety net you can even really depend upon.
This understanding finally gave me the courage to say goodbye
to my steady salary and embrace my thrilling – but still scary –
entrepreneur dream.
In the three years since, I’ve learned that I have the skills and drive
to build a successful business. More importantly, I’ve learned that
finding a career that you love is well worth enduring a few
sleepless nights and sacrificing a handbag or two.
The writer is the founder of New York consulting firm
Skillful communications.
Kids' Media Habits
From FOCUS ON THE FAMILY, Today, 02-Jun-2008 edition
Kids’ Media Habits
By Dr Bill Maier
When I was a child, being sent to your room was a punishment.
But today, many parents can’t get their children to leave
their rooms. Children’s bedrooms have become their media hubs.
Children have televisions, video games and even computers
connected to the Internet in their rooms.
But what really concerns me is a recent study showing that
only half the children say they have parental rules regarding
their TV viewing. And about 40 per cent have no rules regarding
their Internet usage.
I’m all for giving children plenty of freedom as they grow,
but this is a dangerous trend. Television isn’t as innocent
as it used to be, and we all know how much bad stuff is available
in cyberspace.
As parents, we need to be aware of what our children are
watching – today more than ever.
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