RAISE YOUR CHILD'S IQ

From TODAY, Voices
Friday, 20-March-2009

By Dr James Dobson


According to Dr Burton White at Harvard University, there are six factors that contribute to the intellectual capacity of a child, and we discussed the first three helpful environmental factors yesterday.

Here are the remaining factors: Children given free access to the living rooms of their homes progressed much faster than those whose movements were restricted.

The nuclear family is the most important educational delivery system. If we’re going to produce capable, happy children, it will be by strengthening family units and by improving the interactions that occur within them.

Finally, the best parents excelled at three key functions – they were superb designers and organisers of their children’s environments; permitted their children to interrupt them for brief 30-second episodes during which personal comfort and information were exchanged; and they were firm disciplinarians, while showing great affection for their children.

In other words, it took a 10-year research project to reveal what most mothers have known intuitively for centuries.

CHILDREN'S SELF-ESTEEM

From TODAY, Voices
Wednesday, 18-March-2009

By Dr James Dobson


May I invite parents to transport themselves back into the world of the very young and relive the pressures that often exist there – where unconcealed aggression often lies just below the surface.

Life can be especially difficult for a child who is odd or different in some obvious way. Those who are overweight or excessively thin or those whose noses curve up or down or to one side; those whose skin is pimply or hair is too curly or straight, or one who has big feet or a crossed eye or protruding ears. A youngster can be physically perfect except for a single embarrassing feature, yet under a barrage of ridicule, he or she will worry about that one deficiency as though it were the only important thing in life.

Do you remember those days when you may have had to fight to defend your honour, even if it cost you your front teeth, where self-esteem teetered on the brink of disintegration with each failure or mistake? This aspect of childhood must be remembered if we hope to understand why some children would rather take 40 lashes than go to a new school or perform in front of their peers or wear something different. We can help our kids cope if we remember our own childhood experiences.

Build the fire of your relationship

From TODAY, Voices
Tuesday, 17-March-2009

By Dr James Dobson


Jack London, in his wonderful short story entitled To Build a Fire, tells of a man caught in a freezing blizzard. The temperature dropped to minus 24°C, and he tried to build a fire to save his life. He had only three matchsticks, and the first two were snuffed out by the wind. His life depended on that one remaining matchstick.

He managed to get a little fire going as he cupped his hands, and he held his breath. Just as it looked like he would succeed, some snow fell from a limb overhead and snuffed out the flame. The man was doomed to freeze to death.

You know, there’s a lesson in this story that applies to romantic relationships. Nothing will snuff out the flickering flame of love more quickly than hovering too close and trying too hard to make it burn. The bonding between two people occurs best in an atmosphere of confidence and freedom. Those who reveal their insecurities and attempt to force themselves on their lovers are putting everything on the line.

That’s like tossing snow on a tiny fire. How can you turn it into a roaring furnace? By giving it plenty of oxygen and trusting the combustion of the fuel. Love, you see, must be confident; it must be free; and it must be voluntary.

THE RETURN OF COURTESY

From TODAY, Voices
Monday, 16-March-2009

By Dr James Dobson


A young Englishman named Sir Walter Raleigh came to Queen Elizabeth’s attention because of his manners.

As she departed from the palace one day and approached her carriage, she paused. A puddle lay between the queen and the carriage step. Young Mr Raleigh instantly whisked off his expensive satin cape and covered the puddle. This gracious act brought him to the Queen’s attention and he went on to become a renowned explorer and statesman.

Good manners may not take your children to the heights Sir Raleigh obtained, but will serve them well in life.

But polite behaviour does not come naturally to children, especially in this MTV generation.

We may not have a lot of money to give our children, but we can give them the gift of good manners, gracious behaviour and civility. It will make them stand out in any crowd and give them a head start in the world.