Can’t Agree? Follow the Parenting Expert

From TODAY, Voices
Thursday September 25, 2008

By Dr Bill Maier

So, what do you do when you and your spouse have different parenting styles?

Parenting is hard enough without adding extra conflict about how best to deal with the kids.

When couples come from different backgrounds and have different experiences, they often have different ideas about discipline or expectations.

A mother may think her kids need to be in bed by eight, while her husband is fine with them staying up late.

And when parents have different views, something has to give.

A good way to solve this problem is to find a quality parenting programme and then follow it together.

When a disagreement occurs, agree to defer to the expert.

It’s a simple but effective way to stay on the same page when it comes to parenting.

Listen to your body

From TODAY, Voices
Wednesday September 24, 2008

By Dr Bill Maier

How much exercise is enough? Well, that depends on who you talk to. And everyone seems to have a different theory.

Years ago we were told that 30 minutes of light exercise several times a week was enough to keep the average person fit.

But more recent studies suggest that we need at least thirty minutes a day of brisk exercise. Another report by the Institute of Medicine recommended nearly twice that amount – 60 minutes a day of moderate to intense movement.

So who do you believe?

The fact is, there’s no magic number. Too many factors are involved to come up with a one-size-fits-all formula.

The key is to know your body, and to learn what it takes to keep in shape. If you find yourself gaining a pound or two a year, it’s time to adjust – both your diet and your level of activity.

Listen to the experts, but more importantly, learn to listen to your own body.

Teaching Children Manners

From TODAY, Voices
Tuesday September 23, 2008

By Dr Bill Maier

There is nothing quite as annoying as talking to a child who has bad manners.

When you ask them a question and they say “Huh?” or “What?”, it is not only rude, but it reflects poorly on the child’s parents.

Basic social skills begin with good manners, and there is really no excuse for a child who has not yet learned how to be polite in public.

Even young toddlers can learn how to say “please” and “thank you”. When someone gives your children a gift, parents should make a point of reminding them to respond gracefully.

When introducing your kids to friends or strangers, make sure they acknowledge the introduction, even if their vocabulary is limited.

You might begin by role-playing at home.

Give your children a fruit or snack and have them practise saying “Thank you very much” or “May I please have another piece?”

Then reward them at the end of each session. With a little work, any child can learn to be polite and pleasant.

Tell Your Children How Much You Care

From TODAY, Voices
Monday September 22, 2008

By Dr Bill Maier

“My kids know how much I love them, even though I forget to tell them a lot of the time.”

That’s what many parents may think, although that is sometimes not how their children see it.

Author John Trent tells the story of a time when he was playing American football in college. He had made a mistake on the field and the coach chewed him out for it and sent him to the sidelines.

While sitting on the bench, he said to a team-mate: “I wish he would get off my case.” The other player leaned over and said: “At least he’s talking to you. If he ever stops talking, that means he’s given up on you.”

That’s how children often interpret their parents’ silence.

It makes them feel as if they are not wanted or liked – like third-string players on a football team.

And the worst thing a child can feel is abandoned or unappreciated.

Parents often think that if they provide them with good things, their children will know how much they care. But children need to hear it.