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From Focus on the Family If you appreciate all your husband does for the family , then make sure you tell him. Men may come across as tough as nails, but that doesn’t mean we don’t need to hear how much we mean to our wives and children . It’s nice to know that our families value the things we do. Tell your husband how much you appreciate the way he provides for the family. And be specific. Let him know that you notice the sacrifices he makes by putting his family first, instead of his own interests. Thank him for being such a good leader in the home and an example for your kids. Above all, support him in all he does. You may not always agree with the decisions he makes, but he needs to know that you trust his judgment. From TODAY, Voices - Thursday, 09-Sep-2010 ----- Related articles by Zemanta RICHARD HIMMER | Two Parenting Tools That Say "I Love You" More Effectively Than Words (kitsapsun.com) Five Basic Needs of Children (brighthub.com)

From Focus on the Family All children whine when they get tired or bored. Adults do it, too. But some children whine so much that it becomes like fingernails on a chalkboard. Children who whine constantly are not always doing it to annoy you. They are usually just looking for a way to get attention, or to get what they want. Crying and whining worked when they were little, so they still do it. Parents are often so annoyed by it that they give in — which only adds to the problem later. When children whine, say to them firmly: “You know that’s not how we ask for things. If you want something, speak in your nice voice. Then I can understand you.” When they do, praise them for speaking clearly. Above all, keep your own whining in check, since children learn by example. With a little time, every home can be a whine-free zone. From TODAY, Voices - Wednesday, 08-Sep-2010 ----- Related articles by Zemanta How to Help With Homework: Ending the Daily Homework Hassle (brighthub.com)...

From Focus on the Family Husbands aren’t known for sharing their feelings too often, but there are some things our wives need to hear from time to time. Saying “I love you,” is just one of them. Let her know that she is of great worth to you. Tell her that no one will ever take her place in your life … or your heart. Make sure she understands how committed you are to the relationship — that no matter how bad things get, you will always be willing to work it out. All couples argue, but commitment to the marriage will always overcome any disagreement. Say to her, “I will always be truthful with you,” and then hold yourself to that promise. Honesty is critical to a successful relationship. Don’t assume that your wife knows how you feel about her. Take time to tell her every chance you get. From TODAY, Voices - Monday, 06-Sep-2010 ----- Related articles by Zemanta Love:the Only Secret to Everlasting Marital Bliss (socyberty.com) My Night at a Focus on the Family Event ...

From Focus on the Family Have your children learned to take responsibility for their actions? Better yet, have you learned it? It is amazing how often we blame others for the things that happen to us. And it is not just a problem with children — I know a lot of adults who can’t seem to accept guilt when things go wrong. But part of growing is learning these five key principles of responsibility. We’ll call them the five “As” of accepting blame. First, admit when you do something wrong. Everyone makes bad choices and the first step in overcoming them is being honest about it. Second, apologise for how your transgression affected others. Make it right if you can. Third, accept the consequences of your actions. And don’t expect others to pay for your mistake. Fourth, ask for forgiveness. Just because you’ve apologised, don’t assume that others have forgotten how you hurt them. Fifth, alter your choices in the future. Decide now how you plan to do things differently the next time...

Image via Wikipedia From Dr James Dobson A mother once related an incident which occurred when she was taking her three-year-old son to a nursery school for the first time. Another mother was also arriving with her twin girls, and as they walked into the centre, the director just got very excited about the beauty of the little girls. "Oh, my!" she said, "Your girls are just gorgeous!" Well, the first mother said that there were 15 other children who were standing around the room, watching and listening to their teacher, and you can believe they learned something that day, about the values of the culture . A bright preschooler is fully capable of thinking, "No one ever says that to me. It must be important to be pretty." Indeed, research has demonstrated that by the age of three, those who are physically attractive already enjoy greater popularity among their peers. Those youngsters who are not admired by their peers are often troubled by that fact from...

By Dr James Dobson I’m more convinced every day that a great portion of our adult effort is invested in the quest for that which was unreachable in childhood. The more painful the early void, the more we’re motivated to fill it later in life. A friend named Diane had a father who never met her needs for love and attention and belonging. Even today, he seems oblivious to the pain he has caused her. Diane used to find herself constantly feeling disappointed, hurt and rejected each time he failed to come through. But then she learned accidentally that he had been severely abused as a child. His own father and mother had died when he was a boy and the aunt who raised him was so severe, she even forbade him to cry. Diane suddenly saw her dad in a different light . He was not just a rejecting father, he was a man with an emotional handicap. Her experience is not unique. Loved ones who continually frustrate and disappoint us are often reacting to wounds from their own formative yea...

By Dr James Dobson Have you ever found the courage to say “I’m sorry” to a child? It’s a tough thing to do and, frankly, my father never was very good at it. I remember working with him one day in the backyard when I was 15, on a day when he was particularly irritable. He picked on me for everything I did, even when I hurried. Finally, he yelled at me for something I considered petty, and I just threw down the rake and quit. I walked off, and I walked across our property and down the street while my dad demanded that I come back. It was one of the few times that I ever took him on like that. I meandered around town for a while wondering what would happen when I got home and ended up at my cousin’s house on the other side of town. After several hours, with knees shaking, I called home. “Stay there,” said my dad, “I’m coming over.” To say that I was nervous would be a gross understatement. In a short time, dad arrived and asked to see me alone. “ Beau ,” he began, “I didn’t treat you ri...

By Dr James Dobson So many men I meet have such good intentions. That is why they say yes to their wife and children so often. Unfortunately, as plans change and other pressures take priority, those yeses soon become nos. This turns many men into promise breakers. Are you a promise breaker or keeper? How would your children answer if we asked them that question? A son asks his father: “Dad, can we go bowling on Saturday?” The father replies: “Sure,” without really thinking. The days pass and then Friday comes and the man’s boss asks if he can come in for a few hours on Saturday. The man says yes. Saturday morning , his son is waiting for him with his bowling gear ready by the door. “Sorry son, I forgot about bowling. Daddy has to work today. Maybe next week,” says the man. And another promise has been broken. What the world needs and what your children need are more promise keepers and less promise breakers. Is there a commitment that you have made recently that you have pushed to t...

By Dr Bill Maier Are you looking for a good way to strengthen your marriage ? Try playing tennis with your spouse, or going on a bike ride. It is a fact that couples who play together tend to stay together. Men place a great deal of importance on shared activities with their spouse, while women tend to thrive on emotional intimacy , which usually comes through just being together. My wife and I are into hiking and mountain biking and we've used those activities to bond, as well as to build a lot of great memories. Some of our best conversations have taken place on the hiking trail or on the bike path. The quickest way to let passion plummet in a relationship is to disconnect. If he's always off playing golf with his buddies, and she's meeting with her hobby club, emotional intimacy can fall by the wayside. The strongest couples learn to develop shared interests and ...

By Dr Bill Maier People who grow up happy and successful often credit their achievements to a supportive family. So how do we develop that kind of encouraging environment in our home? One good way is to quickly acknowledge positive behavior in our kids. When we see them helping someone else we should reward them with praise. You might say to your son, "Thanks for giving your brother a hand with that, John." We should also resist the urge to compare our kids with each other, or with someone else's kids. Never say to your child, "Why can't you be more like your sister," or "You don't see David acting that way." Instead, focus on their effort and their willingness to try. You might say something like "I really appreciate you working so hard to bring your spelling grades up." The key is to actively look for ways that you can be supportive, and to teach your kids to do the same thing. An encouraging household is crucial to raising healthy,...

By Dr James Dobson It’s a good thing to praise children for the praiseworthy things they do. But is there a limit to the compliments we offer them? Praise is essential to a child’s self-esteem and children who grow up without it typically wither like un-watered plants. But too many good words for the wrong reasons can be inflationary in nature. This is called flattery, and the essence of it is that it is unearned. It is what grandma says when she comes for a visit — “Oh, look at my beautiful little girl! You’re getting prettier every day!” Or, “My, what a smart boy you are!” Flattery happens when you heap compliments on a child for something he does not achieve. Praise, however, is a genuine response to good things your child has done. It should be highly specific. “You’ve been a good boy” is too general. Much better is, “I like the way you cleaned your room today!” Or, “I’m proud of the way you studied for that math assignment!” Praise reinforces the child’s constructive ...

By Dr James Dobson I want to talk to parents today about the very important distinction between childish irresponsibility and wilful defiance. Let me explain. Suppose little Chris is acting silly in the living room and falls onto a table, breaking some expensive china cups. Or maybe he loses his books on the way home from school or leaves his bike out in the rain. Now, these are acts of childish irresponsibility, which are inevitable during the early years. Forgetting things, losing things and spilling things do not represent direct challenges to authority, and they should be handled very gently. But when a child stamps her foot and tells her mom or dad to “shut up”, something very different is going on. She’s moved into the realm of willful defiance. It occurs when the child knows what the parent wants, but she clenches her little fists, digs in her heels and prepares for a battle. It is a refusal to accept parental leadership. When this kind of nose-to-nose confrontation occurs, a fi...

By Dr James Dobson Imagine the agony a single parent goes through when required by court order to put his or her children on an airplane, all alone, for an extended visitation with the other parent. A single mum described her feelings like this. She said: “I stand in the terminal and watch the children’s airplane disappear into the clouds. The loneliness immediately set in. I worry constantly about their safety, but I resist the urge to call every hour to see how they are doing. And when they do call me to tell me how much fun they are having, I grieve over the fact that they are living a life completely separate from my own. My only consolation is knowing that they will be coming home soon. But I am haunted by the fear that they won’t want to come home with me.” For the single parent who identifies with this hurting mother, there may be a way to get through the painful days of waiting. Instead of seeing this time alone as a period of isolation, view it as an opportunity to recharge an...