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By Dr Bill Maier It is not easy to keep the flames of romance burning when your house is looking like a disaster zone but it can be done. If you cannot remember the last time you and your spouse went on a date, I have one important word for you — “babysitter”. Or is that two words? Whatever it is, make sure you get one… and use them on a weekly basis. A regular date night is critical to keeping couples in touch. Or how about a romantic weekend away — and I do not mean to Disneyworld . Leave the children with a trusted friend or relative and take a short trip to your favourite spot. If you really want to thrill your wife, try taking gifts or flowers home for no particular reason. And call during the day to tell her how much you love her. Romantic times are great but it is the little sparks each day that keep a fire burning hot. From TODAY, Voices - Friday, 30-July-2010 ----- Related articles by Zemanta Spice Up Your Passionless Marriage - Part One (lifescript.co...

Image by adwriter via Flickr By Dr James Dobson Since there's conflict in every romantic relationship , learning to fight fair just might be the most important lesson any couple can master. There's a real difference between healthy and unhealthy combat in marriage . And everything depends on the way disagreements are handled. In an unstable marriage, hostility is usually meant to hurt and it's often directed at the soft underbelly of the partner's ego. On the other hand, healthy conflict remains centered on the immediate problem at hand. For example: "It upsets me when you don't tell me you'll be late for dinner." Can you hear the difference? Even though the subject matter might be equally emotionally intense, the focus is on the specific problem in the relationship and not on what you perceive as a basic personality defect of your mate. When couples learn this important distinction, they have the freedom to disagree and work through conflicts with ...

Image via Wikipedia By Dr James Dobson If you want to know whether or not you're really in love, give it the test of time. Infatuation is the name we give to that first bright burst of attraction between two people. It sets our pulses racing and makes us think of clouds and fireworks , as well as stories that end in "happily ever after". There's no doubt infatuation looks and feels very much like love; the only problem is, it doesn't last. It's a quick, emotional high, with no commitment behind it. And when it runs its course, we find ourselves back where we started, with little or nothing to show for the experience. How then can we distinguish real love from temporary attraction? If the feeling is unreliable, how can we measure the commitment of the will? There's only one answer: It takes time. The best advice I can offer a couple contemplating marriage, or any other important issue, is make no important life-shaping decisions quickly or impulsively. Me...

By Dr James Dobson One of the great myths about love is that if a couple is genuinely in love, that condition is permanent and will last a lifetime. Love, even genuine love, is a fragile commodity. Like more than one popular song has said, love is like a rose. It must be carefully maintained and protected if it is to survive. Love can easily be overcome by weeds of a busy life. When a husband or wife works seven days a week, when there's no time for romantic activity, when they forget how to talk to each other; then love can die. During the early days of my marriage to my wife, Shirley, I was working full-time, and trying to finish a doctorate at USC . Shirley was teaching and maintaining our home. I realised what this busy lifestyle was doing to our relationship. We still loved each other but it had been too long since we felt the warmth and closeness. I pushed my textbooks aside and we went for a long walk. The following semester I carried a very light load in school and post...

Image via Wikipedia By Dr James Dobson If you want to put some new life in your marriage , try thinking like a teenager again. We all remember, fondly or otherwise, the craziness of our dating days – the coy attitudes, the flirting, the chase after the prize. But as we moved into marriage, most of us felt we should leave the game-playing behind. But we may not have changed as much as we'd like to think. The truth is that our romantic relationships will always bear some characteristics of adolescent sexuality. Grown-ups still love the thrill of the chase, the lure of the unattainable, the excitement of the new and the boredom with the old. The immature impulses are controlled and minimised in a committed relationship , but they never fully disappear. And this is the key for keeping life in our marriages. If things seem stale between you and your spouse, maybe you should remember some old tricks, repeating some of the happy moments that brought you together. Maybe it's time for...