DIFFUSING LOW SELF-ESTEEM

FOCUS ON THE FAMILY

 

From TODAY, Voices

Friday January 9, 2009

 

By Dr James Dobson

 

Have you ever noticed that it’s much easier to handle stress if you have some warning it’s coming? There’s something about knowing a tough experience lies ahead that helps us to get ready for the difficulty, to mobilise our resources for a challenge to come.

 

It’s for this reason that I recommend that parents begin talking to their children long before the teen years about the joys and discomforts of adolescence. Begin discussing self-confidence in the primary school years. Then in the period immediately before puberty, make it known that the teen years are often accompanied by a massive assault on self-worth; where everybody seems to feel ugly and unintelligent and useless.

 

But also explain that this is a temporary experience, like going through a tunnel from which you will inevitably emerge. It would also be wise in this twilight of childhood to discuss the sexual awakening that’s about to occur, including how the body will change and how to use this new experience responsibly and morally.

 

To not do it is to leave the child to cope alone with the terrors of menstruation or other physical transformations.

 

So much can be done to prepare kids for the coming crisis in adolescence if we just give a little thought to the task. 

 

FOCUS ON THE FAMILY

 

From TODAY, Voices

Thursday January 8, 2009

 

By Dr James Dobson

 

Problems over the use of money are among the most common sources of conflict in marriage. Yet, newlyweds begin to head down that destructive road when they use credit cards indiscriminately and take out loans to buy things they can’t afford and don’t need.

 

Newlyweds often find themselves arguing about money and credit cards because their spouses have different value systems.

 

My father was a hunter who thought nothing of using three boxes of shotgun shells in an afternoon of recreational shooting. Yet, if my mother spent an equal amount of money on a potato peeler that wouldn’t work, he considered it wasteful. Never mind that she enjoyed shopping as much as he did hunting. His values were simply different from hers.

 

Whether a couple agrees with one another or not, buying on credit is a potential disaster. That’s why financial counsellor and author Larry Burkett says, “Newlyweds should label their credit cards ‘Danger! Handle with Care’.”

 

He says, “Staying out of debt is one of the best ways to preserve a marriage and keep a relationship healthy.”

 

If money is a source of trouble; stop spending and start communicating.

 

A lot of conflict can be avoided when spouses express their views on money usage and come to a consensus on how those dollars should be spent. And when the budget is exhausted, keep the wallet in the pocket. 

 

BEWARE! Internet money-making truth

I was looking up some ways on how to make money online. I already know about Google ads, adsense, etc., so I was thinking if there are other ways. There are, but beware that you don't get scammed. Search up very well any company or group or articles that will say otherwise; (this remindes me, hear what the 'devil's advocate' has to say). In these days of easy internet scams, the 'lie and deception' we hear or read is like an 'absolute truth' that is so temptingly easy to believe (like a fish swallowing the hook, line and sinker), but exercise more caution - search on with the company/group name + keywords like 'scam', 'legal', 'hoax', etc.

 

 

I was almost convinced by these sites, which is actually one and the same:

http://www.secrets-book.com/home.html

http://www.internetwealthscams.com/

http://asianhomebiz.com/

 

 

Until I searched on and found this:

http://www.affhelper.com/opinions/ultimate-wealth-package.html

http://hubpages.com/hub/aPlaceForProfits

http://www.affhelper.com/blog/2007/08/09/easy-cash-funnels-launched/

 

 

Others still claim legality and veracity, but still the same MLM and referral concepts, etc, is at work:

http://www.bobmarketing.com/wealth-tool-box-scam/

http://www.passportmentors.com/passport_to_wealth_scam.htm

http://auctionrookies.com/ty-coughlin-reverse-funnel-system/

http://wealthsecretsuncovered.com/

http://www.internetwealth.com/system/

http://www.squidoo.com/internet-wealth-system-review

 

 

The point is that they sell, you buy - they make money. So how do YOU make money yourself???

 

 

I'm sticking with Google ads. Perhaps a few more tweaks and enhancements, and without spending a single cent, I may see some numbers. At least I'm not in a hurry, and I can wait for the dollars to come by at the opportune time.

 

 

By the way, does anybody know anything about Pawel Reszka and his products, Google Manipulator, Easy PPC Cash, etc?

I sure would love to hear good and bad, so it is balanced news!

 

Cinderella stage play

May not be watching this on stage with Lea Salonga playing the Cinderella part, but here's the American version...

FOCUS ON THE FAMILY

 

From TODAY, Voices

Wednesday January 7, 2009

 

By Dr James Dobson

 

Someone once said that life is like giving a violin concert in public, and learning to play it as you go. Actually, that sounds a lot like raising children.

 

It seems that being a good parent is becoming more and more difficult these days. Of course, it’s never been all that easy. For one thing, babies come into the world with no instructions, and you pretty much have to assemble them on your own. They are also maddeningly complex, and there are no guaranteed formulas that work in every instance. The techniques that succeed with one child can fail miserably with another.

 

I bring this up because if you’re struggling along today, trying to raise your children but meeting with frustration and hardships I say: Welcome to the club.

 

The world of parenting is come as you are; learn as you go; and keep your chin up. To those mothers and fathers who try their best to tenderly guide their children through the rough waters of childhood and love them the best they can, I say: Give yourself a well deserved pat on the back.

 

Remember, there’s no such thing as a perfect parent or perfect kids. But your love, care and commitment will make you the best parent your children will ever have. 

 

DATING YOUR MATE

FOCUS ON THE FAMILY

 

From TODAY, Voices

Tuesday January 6, 2009

 

By Dr James Dobson

 

Many marriages following the honeymoon lose the wind in their romantic sails and wallow in the doldrums for months and even years.

 

Well, marriages that were once exciting and loving can also get caught in the romantic doldrums, causing a slow and painful death to the relationship.

 

Mr Doug Fields wrote in his book Creative Romance: “Dating and romancing your spouse can change those patterns, and can be a lot of fun. There’s no quick fix to a sour marriage, of course, but lay aside the excuses and begin to date your sweetheart again.”

 

Allow new breezes to fill the sails of your relationship.

 

It will take a conscious effort, but be creative. How about breakfast in bed? A kiss in the rain? Or perhaps re-reading those old love letters?

 

A honeymoon need not be a one-time experience. 

 

FOCUS ON THE FAMILY

 

From TODAY, Voices

Monday January 5, 2009

 

By Dr James Dobson

 

Given a choice between a compliment and a criticism, who wouldn’t choose a compliment? Unfortunately though, some parents forget this when they talk to their children.

 

Psychologist Abraham Maslow once said, “It takes nine affirming comments to make up for each critical comment we give to our children.” It’s true that all normal human beings respond to praise. In fact, we crave affirmation so much that we’re likely to do almost anything to receive it. This is especially true of children. As someone said, “Whoever gives your kids praise and attention has power over them.”

 

If you don’t affirm your children, I can assure you that someone else will. And that could be a drug dealer, a gang member, or anyone else who could harm them. Many people with lifestyles contrary to your own are willing to praise your kids to get what they want from them. This, in fact, is the technique routinely used by pedophiles to abuse lonely children. But giving your kids affirmation, encouragement and attention is one way to keep them on your team.

 

Take a strategy from the popular book “The One Minute Manager”. It says, “Catch your employees doing something right.” Well, why not catch your children doing something good and reward them for it? You might be surprised by the positive effect it will have. 

 

Pushing the boundaries

FOCUS ON THE FAMILY

 

From TODAY, Voices

Friday January 2, 2009

 

By Dr James Dobson

 

If you really want to give your kids an edge in the world, teach them to go above and beyond the call of duty.

 

Quality work is a rare thing, and people take notice. Here are a few key principles to help your children rise above the pack.

 

First, teach them to recognise their strengths and weaknesses. And to play to their strengths while working on their weaknesses.

 

Next, they should learn to accept constructive criticism. It’s easy to get defensive when someone analyses our performance, but the only way to grow is through knowing what we need to work on.

 

Finally, teach them to recognise quality work when they see it – both in themselves and others. And to appreciate the effort that goes into it.

 

Quality doesn’t happen by accident, and kids who learn early to be all that they can be, have a huge advantage in life.