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From Focus on the Family If you appreciate all your husband does for the family , then make sure you tell him. Men may come across as tough as nails, but that doesn’t mean we don’t need to hear how much we mean to our wives and children . It’s nice to know that our families value the things we do. Tell your husband how much you appreciate the way he provides for the family. And be specific. Let him know that you notice the sacrifices he makes by putting his family first, instead of his own interests. Thank him for being such a good leader in the home and an example for your kids. Above all, support him in all he does. You may not always agree with the decisions he makes, but he needs to know that you trust his judgment. From TODAY, Voices - Thursday, 09-Sep-2010 ----- Related articles by Zemanta RICHARD HIMMER | Two Parenting Tools That Say "I Love You" More Effectively Than Words (kitsapsun.com) Five Basic Needs of Children (brighthub.com)

From Focus on the Family All children whine when they get tired or bored. Adults do it, too. But some children whine so much that it becomes like fingernails on a chalkboard. Children who whine constantly are not always doing it to annoy you. They are usually just looking for a way to get attention, or to get what they want. Crying and whining worked when they were little, so they still do it. Parents are often so annoyed by it that they give in — which only adds to the problem later. When children whine, say to them firmly: “You know that’s not how we ask for things. If you want something, speak in your nice voice. Then I can understand you.” When they do, praise them for speaking clearly. Above all, keep your own whining in check, since children learn by example. With a little time, every home can be a whine-free zone. From TODAY, Voices - Wednesday, 08-Sep-2010 ----- Related articles by Zemanta How to Help With Homework: Ending the Daily Homework Hassle (brighthub.com)...

From Focus on the Family Some children are just born clingy. No matter where mom is, they have to be right there by her side, usually hanging on for dear life. Over time it can get pretty frustrating – especially if they show no signs of letting up. Children who cling tend to be more shy and insecure. When they get into a new situation or feel cranky, clinging is their way of communicating that they’re uncomfortable. The worst thing you can do is to get frustrated and pry them away. Instead, take a few minutes to hug and reassure them and then talk to them about what they’re feeling. Tell them they can stay close but they can’t cling. You might promise a special time together later if they’ll let you get your work done. Above all, don’t worry. “Clinginess” is a phase that almost always passes in time. From TODAY, Voices - Friday, 03-Sep-2010 ----- Related articles by Zemanta Living with children: The clingy phase (seattletimes.nwsource.com) Some parents analyze too...

From Focus on the Family One of the most common sources of conflict between husbands and wives comes down to a simple matter of differing assumptions. Let me illustrate. Some years ago I went through a very hectic period of my life, professionally. I was a full-time professor at a medical school , but I was also travelling and speaking far more than usual. I completely exhausted myself during this time. Now, it was a dumb thing to do, but I had made these commitments, and I simply had to meet them. Finally, on a Friday night, the siege was over and I went home. I had earned a badly needed day off, and I planned to kick back and watch a football game that Saturday. Shirley, on the other hand, also felt that she had paid her dues. For six weeks, she had taken care of the kids and run the home. It was entirely reasonable that I spend my Saturday doing things that she wanted done around the house. Now, neither of us was really wrong. Both of us had a right to feel as we did, bu...

From Focus on the Family Having trouble remembering what your teenager looks like? Maybe it’s time to rein in their busy schedules and preserve a little family time. With all the activities available to children these days it’s easy for families to lose touch. Children are so busy with sports , art lessons, ballet and dozens of other extracurricular activities that many families can’t remember the last time they sat down for a meal together. But family times are important to a child’s development and as parents, it’s our job to see that they get scheduled. Why not pick one night of the week as a regular family night? Maybe you could go out to dinner — somewhere away from phones and other distractions — and use the time to relax and reconnect. Try going on a hike or a picnic together. Or maybe you could just set up chairs in the park. Whatever it takes to keep the family unit together and well connected. But if you don’t put it on the schedule, it may never happen. Put a fa...

From Focus on the Family For many families an appealing way to bring extra income into the home is by building a home-based business . It is possible to run a business out of home while juggling other duties. Many businesses can run out of a home. Such as catering, desktop publishing , pet grooming, sewing, consulting, transcribing legal documents and even mail order sales. Choosing which business is right for you is the first of three practical steps suggested by Ms Donna Partow, the author of Homemade Business . Take a personal skill and interest inventory to find out what your particular abilities are. The second step is to do your homework. Begin your research by looking up books, magazines and newspaper articles. Talk to other people who are doing what you’d like to do. The third step is to marshal as much support as you can. Get your children, your spouse and friends on your side. If you’ve been torn between family and finances, having a home-based business may tur...

By Focus on the Family It’s the balance between the positive and the negative that provides the benefit. To illustrate, if you place the cable on the positive  pole of a car battery , nothing happens. Then take that cable off the positive and put it on the negative pole. There’s still no electricity . But what happens when you hook up both the positive and the negative poles? It’ll curl your hair, if you have any left. Understanding the interaction between these two forces is very useful to the task of raising children . There’s a time for affirmation, closeness, tenderness and love. That’s what nourishes the spirits of our kids. But there’s also a time for correction and discipline and even occasional punishment. Mums and dads who try to be eternally positive, ignoring irresponsibility, defiance or selfishness in their kids, will deprive their kids of the benefits of correction. But those who are oppressive and accusatory can also create serious behavioral problems. So w...

By Dr Bill Maier It’s the little things that make children feel special. Things that take almost no time and effort but add up to great memories for their future. Give thanks for every member of the family, for each child by name. Say something like, “Thank you Jinghui, for the way you light up a room when you walk in. We’re so blessed to have such a bright and joyful child.” Speak blessings into your children’s lives through your words and see how it affects their self-worth. The next time you take a trip in the car or walk to the MRT station, ask each child to share their favourite things about their brothers or sisters. Take turns talking about what makes each child unique and special. You’ll be doing more than building your children’s self-image; you’ll be teaching your children how to love and appreciate each other. It isn’t difficult to make children feel special. It just takes a little extra creativity. From TODAY, Voices - Tuesday, 27-July-2010 ----- Related ...

By Dr Bill Maier When is the best time to tell a child that they were adopted ? I get asked this question often from adoptive parents, and my answer is always the same: As soon as they’re old enough to understand. Obviously, it’s important to use age-appropriate language. When the child is two or three, make sure they understand how special they are to you. Say to them: “Mummy and daddy chose you over all the other children in the world.” When they’re a little older, you might start explaining the difference between a biological and an adoptive parent. A four-year-old could be told that some kids have two different mums — one who took care of them inside her tummy, and another who took them home from the hospital to love and care for them. Adoptive kids will find out sooner or later. And if you’ve kept it a secret, they’ll wonder what else you haven’t told them. So, be as honest as you can from the earliest age. From TODAY, Voices - Wednesday, 14-July-2010 ----- Re...

By Dr James Dobson Not all mums can stay home with their kids. But that doesn’t mean they have to settle for a poor work schedule. A lot of companies today are more child-friendly than we give them credit for. Sometimes, just asking for a change in schedule makes a lot of difference in the time we get to spend at home. And that change may take some negotiation, but it is worth the effort. Begin by learning all you can about your company ’s policy regarding flexitime. Then arrange a meeting with your boss to discuss your proposal. You may need to write your ideas on paper, so you don’t forget. And be specific. If you’re going to ask for a change, tell them exactly how you propose to do it while still getting your work done. Assure them that you’ll still be available for emergencies or additional work. Show your boss how it can be a win-win situation, and he’ll likely be more open to the idea than you might expect. From TODAY, Voices - Tuesday, 13-July-2010 ----- Related ...

By Dr James Dobson If you have checked out the parenting section of a bookstore lately, you’ve probably noticed hundreds of authors who want to tell you how to raise your children . Have you ever wondered if they really know more than you do? As a psychologist , I believe parents can learn from the specialists. But there is one thing a book will never provide, and that is one-on-one support from mums and dads who are going through the same thing. Our grandparents took it for granted that friends and family would always be there to help. But things have changed since then. These days, the best piece of advice I can give a new parent is: “Yes, read those books, but don’t stop there. Contact your local support group, hospital or family service centre and ask about parenting support groups .” You might find the encouragement and information our forefathers derived from large and loving families. Beyond that, I recommend that you go with your own instincts. You know more than...

By Dr James Dobson There’s a very special gift that men and women in their 50s, 60s and 70s have to offer to the people they come in contact with. That gift is wisdom — gleaned from years of experience. Wisdom can encourage and build up, and offer hope in troubled times. In days gone by, extended families lived together in the same house — young and old. People were able to get fresh perspectives, just by hashing out the events of the day at the dinner table. But in today’s mobile society, most of us live away from our families, and this valuable interaction is lacking. If you’re getting on in years, I’d urge you to find someone younger in your life that you could befriend. That frustrated young mother down the street might love to have an older woman come by for coffee , to listen and to say: “That’s normal. I remember when I felt just that way.” The young man in the office down the hall needs to hear from someone older and wiser: “You’re doing a good job. Keep up the good ...

By Dr James Dobson We’ve all heard of corporate ladder climbers who’ve earned the label “upwardly mobile”. But I bet you haven’t heard of many people being downwardly mobile. At least not by choice. I know of two physicians who limit their practice hours to allow more time for their young children . They actually chose the opposite course of most career-minded individuals: Down-scaling their jobs, passing up career opportunities and taking a cut in pay. As one of these doctors explained: “I saw many people on their death bed and I never heard one of them say he wished he’d spent more time at the office.” Now I realise most families could not afford to slash their work hours. After all, these doctors admit it’s their higher income that allows such flexibility. Still, I like the idea of making a decision to arrange your schedule and lifestyle to give your kids your best hours, not just the leftovers. It’s a good idea not to add any new activity unless something equally engaging ...

By Dr Bill Maier Are you constantly unhappy with the way you look? Maybe you need a change – and I’m not talking about a makeover. Self-image is a strange thing. Many people you would consider handsome or pretty actually struggle to accept the way they look. A girl may think her nose is too big when it’s a perfectly normal size. A man may fret over a bald spot that no one else even notices. How we see ourselves is seldom the way others see us. Poor self-image often comes from a parent who didn’t accept us, or failed to build us up as they should have. And it probably wasn’t a conscious thing on their part — they were simply reacting the way their parents reacted to them. Blaming your parents does no good. The healthy approach is to get past your childhood and move forward. Learning to accept yourself may take a lot of work — even counselling — but it’s critical to a happy future. From TODAY, Voices - Thursday, 01-July-2010 ----- Related articles by Zemanta Rob Asgh...

By Dr Bill Maier What do you do when you love your child but cannot seem to get along with him? All of us have days when our children grate at our nerves. With some parents, however, those days are the norm. We all love our children dearly but sometimes their personalities are so different from ours that we clash with them at every turn. Begin by reminding yourself that they are not trying to drive you crazy on purpose. They merely think differently. Children are created with a unique set of gifts and qualities, and these things make them who they are. Some of the very traits that you struggle to deal with when they are four years old may catapult them towards great things later in life. Instead of trying to change your child’s personality, learn to embrace it. Even if you do clash in the process. From TODAY, Voices - Wednesday, 30-June-2010 ----- Related articles by Zemanta Rob Asghar: Generation 'N' for 'Narcissist': Pushover Parents and the Kids ...

Image via Wikipedia By Dr Bill Maier Before you decide you cannot afford to stay home with your baby, make sure you have done the maths. Many mothers assume that working part- or full-time is better for the family financially, yet they have never really sat down to consider the cost. First, there is the cost of day care . In some places this can run up quite high. And some day care clinics make you pay even if you keep you child home for a day. Then there are additional costs, like lunch money, and field trips . Do not forget to factor in the extra clothes and jewellery you need, along with lunch money for yourself. Do you need a second car because of your job? That is another expense. If most mothers took an honest evaluation of their expenses they would find that working outside the home actually costs them money. Not to mention time away from their babies. From TODAY, Voices - Tuesday, 29-June-2010 ----- Related articles by Zemanta Who Needs Libraries? Poor Peop...

Image via Wikipedia By Dr Bill Maier You say it’s time to move your child from a crib to a bed? That’s not always as easy as it sounds. Not all kids adjust easily to a toddler bed when they’re used to a crib. One mother remembers her child showing up next to her bed every night at two in the morning. She’d take him back to his room, but the next night, he’d be back again. She finally solved the problem by taping a sticker chart to the fridge and giving her son a gold star for every night that he stayed in his own bed. For every five stickers he could pick out a small toy. It took him two weeks to earn his first little car, but after that he became more consistent. Eventually, the nightly visits stopped completely. Now she’s using the same chart to potty train him. It’s a simple approach, but an effective one. From TODAY, Voices - Monday, 28-June-2010 ----- Related articles by Zemanta What age can a child start to use a toddler bed? (parenting-success.com) What ...

Image via Wikipedia By Dr James Dobson You don't see many mothers dress like Wonder Woman these days, but I think any mother who lovingly raises a child from infancy to adulthood deserves to be called a Superhero. I recall a time many years ago when my wife broke her leg skiing, requiring me to play Mr Mum for two weeks. It was a lot tougher than advertised. On my first morning on the job, our headstrong three-year-old boy began teaching me the rules of the game called “motherhood”. At 6am, I was woken from a deep, dreamy sleep by his loud cry and he continued shrieking as I staggered down the hall. When I pushed open his bedroom door, the crying immediately stopped and a cheery little voice said, “Is breakfast ready?” He followed me into the kitchen, where I rummaged through the cupboards bleary-eyed, all the while being barraged with questions: “Why isn't the milk poured? Don't you even know where the eggs are?” and: “Are you sure you've ever done this before?” ...

By Dr Bill Maier “Mum, I don’t feel good. Can I stay home from school today?” It is a phrase some parents hear far too often. Some children get sick so often that their parents don’t know when to believe them. They’ll complain of a terrible stomach ache in the morning, but be running through the house by noon. Are they crying wolf , or crying for help? When children don’t want to go to school, there is usually a reason behind it. They could be avoiding a test they haven’t studied for, or trying to get out of doing homework. Maybe they enjoy being pampered, or crave mum’s attention. Or they could be avoiding a school bully. If your child has a habit of faking sickness, talk to him about what’s going on in his school. Ask him questions like: “Who do you enjoy hanging out with?” or “What’s your least favourite class?” You may open the window to a world of pressures you knew nothing about. From TODAY, Voices - Wednesday, 16-June-2010 ----- Related articles by Zemanta ...

Image via Wikipedia By Dr Bill Maier Nearly every baby develops nappy rash from time to time, and it’s never fun to deal with — especially for the baby. The most common cause of nappy rash is prolonged exposure to a dirty diaper. Often parents will buy super absorbent diapers , and unintentionally go too long between changes. Other rashes are caused by chemicals or fragrances in baby wipes , detergents , or soaps . Some babies react to one brand but not another, so there’s a lot of trial and error involved in finding out the source. Treating a rash is often a matter of common sense. Change the nappy as soon as it gets wet or soiled. Switching to non-fragrant alcohol -free wipes and even tries other brands for a while. If you use cloth diapers, try using soap instead of detergent. You might also let your baby’s bottom air dry after cleaning. And ask your doctor about the best ointment or cream to use. From TODAY, Voices - Tuesday, 15-June-2010 ----- Related artic...