Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Nature or nurture

From Focus on the Family

For decades, behavioural scientists have been arguing over whether environment or genetics plays the bigger role in shaping the human personality.

In the early 20th century, child developmentalists were convinced that babies were born devoid of personality and that experience set the course for human behaviour. One of the most influential proponents of that view was Dr JB Watson. He told mothers that they could produce any kind of child they wanted, simply by manipulating his or her environment. Dr Watson said: “Never hug or kiss your children and never let them sit on your lap. If you must, kiss them once on the forehead when you say ‘goodnight’, shake hands with them in the morning, and remember that when you’re tempted to pet your child, that a mother’s love is a dangerous instrument.”

Millions of parents accepted those notions. But we now know hereditary factors play a greater role. In fact, recent studies indicate that 70 per cent of the personality is influenced by the genetic characteristics with which we are born.


From TODAY, Voices - Friday, 10-Sep-2010
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Tell him how you feel

From Focus on the Family

If you appreciate all your husband does for the family, then make sure you tell him.

Men may come across as tough as nails, but that doesn’t mean we don’t need to hear how much we mean to our wives and children.

It’s nice to know that our families value the things we do. Tell your husband how much you appreciate the way he provides for the family. And be specific. Let him know that you notice the sacrifices he makes by putting his family first, instead of his own interests.

Thank him for being such a good leader in the home and an example for your kids.


Above all, support him in all he does. You may not always agree with the decisions he makes, but he needs to know that you trust his judgment.


From TODAY, Voices - Thursday, 09-Sep-2010
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Curing a whiny child

From Focus on the Family

All children whine when they get tired or bored. Adults do it, too. But some children whine so much that it becomes like fingernails on a chalkboard.

Children who whine constantly are not always doing it to annoy you. They are usually just looking for a way to get attention, or to get what they want. Crying and whining worked when they were little, so they still do it. Parents are often so annoyed by it that they give in — which only adds to the problem later.

When children whine, say to them firmly: “You know that’s not how we ask for things. If you want something, speak in your nice voice. Then I can understand you.” When they do, praise them for speaking clearly. Above all, keep your own whining in check, since children learn by example. With a little time, every home can be a whine-free zone.

From TODAY, Voices - Wednesday, 08-Sep-2010
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What your baby sees

From Focus on the Family

Ever wonder how your baby sees the world? Well, here’s what doctors have discovered. Newborns under one month of age have vision that is about 40 times blurrier than yours. They can’t decipher fine lines or colours — which is why they respond to black-and-white patterns and deeply contrasting colours. They focus best on things 15 to 30cm away.

Between two and three months, they start to distinguish bright colours and see a bit better. But they don’t develop depth perception until the fourth or fifth month. That is when it becomes easier for them to reach for small objects. But their vision is still about eight times blurrier than normal.

Somewhere between eight and 12 months they start to see as well as an adult, with keen depth perception. Their short-range vision may still be a bit stronger than their long range, but that will usually change by their first birthday.


From TODAY, Voices - Tuesday, 07-Sep-2010
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Tell her how you feel

From Focus on the Family

Husbands aren’t known for sharing their feelings too often, but there are some things our wives need to hear from time to time.

Saying “I love you,” is just one of them. Let her know that she is of great worth to you. Tell her that no one will ever take her place in your life … or your heart.

Make sure she understands how committed you are to the relationship — that no matter how bad things get, you will always be willing to work it out. All couples argue, but commitment to the marriage will always overcome any disagreement.

Say to her, “I will always be truthful with you,” and then hold yourself to that promise. Honesty is critical to a successful relationship.

Don’t assume that your wife knows how you feel about her. Take time to tell her every chance you get.


From TODAY, Voices - Monday, 06-Sep-2010
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