Mi Choza De Nipa: 09/19/2010

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Dealing with a clingy child

Some children are just born clingy. No matter where mom is, they have to be right there by her side, usually hanging on for dear life.

Over time it can get pretty frustrating – especially if they show no signs of letting up.
Children who cling tend to be more shy and insecure. When they get into a new situation or feel cranky, clinging is their way of communicating that they’re uncomfortable.

The worst thing you can do is to get frustrated and pry them away.

Instead, take a few minutes to hug and reassure them and then talk to them about what they’re feeling.
Tell them they can stay close but they can’t cling. You might promise a special time together later if they’ll let you get your work done.

Above all, don’t worry. “Clinginess” is a phase that almost always passes in time.

From TODAY, Voices - Friday, 03-Sep-2010
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Predators on the road

From Focus on the Family

Some years ago, my family and I visited the magnificent wild animal preserve known as the Serengeti in Tanzania. It had rained all day and we eventually came to a stretch of road that was almost impassable.

At that point, our 17-year-old son, Ryan, volunteered to help. “I’ll run ahead and look at the road,” he said, “and then I’ll wave to let you know which way to go.” Well, the guide who was with us said: “Mmmm, Ryan, I don’t think that’s a very good idea. You just don’t know what might be out there in the tall grass.”
Further on, we saw a huge male lion crouched in the grass off to one side.

I have thought about that experience many times in reference to today’s children. It is a tough time to grow up. Passage through adolescence can be a perilous journey because of the predators lurking in the grass.

Too many teenagers succumb to alcohol, drugs, suicide and violence. It is our responsibility as parents to stay close to them on the muddy road to adulthood.

From TODAY, Voices - Thursday, 02-Sep-2010
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Why we fight...

From Focus on the Family

One of the most common sources of conflict between husbands and wives comes down to a simple matter of differing assumptions.

Let me illustrate. Some years ago I went through a very hectic period of my life, professionally. I was a full-time professor at a medical school, but I was also travelling and speaking far more than usual. I completely exhausted myself during this time. Now, it was a dumb thing to do, but I had made these commitments, and I simply had to meet them.

Finally, on a Friday night, the siege was over and I went home. I had earned a badly needed day off, and I planned to kick back and watch a football game that Saturday. Shirley, on the other hand, also felt that she had paid her dues. For six weeks, she had taken care of the kids and run the home. It was entirely reasonable that I spend my Saturday doing things that she wanted done around the house.

Now, neither of us was really wrong. Both of us had a right to feel as we did, but the two ideas were simply incompatible, and they collided about 10 am, Saturday morning when Shirley asked me to clean the backyard umbrella. There was an exchange of harsh words that took us about three days to recover from.

It’s important to see that neither of us was looking for a fight, yet we both felt misunderstood and wounded by the other. Our conflict was typical of what goes on every day in a million other homes. It all comes down to differing assumptions.

From TODAY, Voices - Wednesday, 01-Sep-2010
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Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Striving for a goal

From Focus on the Family

Some years ago, sports enthusiasts around the world had their eyes on a young pole-vaulter from Texas named Billy Olsen. At the age of 19, he had already set the world indoor record and it was predicted that he would easily bring home the gold medal in the 1980 Olympics.

In 1979, Olsen suffered an injury at the tryout and did not even make the team. Down but not defeated, he began looking instead to 1984. A few months later, however, he took a bad fall and broke his wrist.

Doctors said he would probably never vault again. Still, Billy did not give up. In 1984 he was jumping high but not well enough to make the team.

So, once again, he set his sights on the next time around. In 1986, he broke the world record four times. 1988 was surely going to be Billy Olsen’s year. This time, he qualified but, to everyone’s surprise, he did not jump well. He never won a medal.

Billy may have never reached his goal but, in my mind, he will always be a winner, simply because he had the guts and the heart to stay with it, no matter how many obstacles blocked his path.

Striving for a goal is a worthy end in itself. By pursuing a dream, we push ourselves to do better and to be better. And even if we never realise that dream, we have the satisfaction of knowing that we gave it our best shot, and that beats sitting on the sidelines.

From TODAY, Voices - Monday, 30-Aug-2010
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Reconnect with Family Night

From Focus on the Family

Having trouble remembering what your teenager looks like? Maybe it’s time to rein in their busy schedules and preserve a little family time.

With all the activities available to children these days it’s easy for families to lose touch. Children are so busy with sports, art lessons, ballet and dozens of other extracurricular activities that many families can’t remember the last time they sat down for a meal together.

But family times are important to a child’s development and as parents, it’s our job to see that they get scheduled. Why not pick one night of the week as a regular family night? Maybe you could go out to dinner — somewhere away from phones and other distractions — and use the time to relax and reconnect. Try going on a hike or a picnic together. Or maybe you could just set up chairs in the park. Whatever it takes to keep the family unit together and well connected.

But if you don’t put it on the schedule, it may never happen. Put a family night on your schedule today.

From TODAY, Voices - Friday, 27-Aug-2010
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Five As of accepting blame

From Focus on the Family

Have your children learned to take responsibility for their actions? Better yet, have you learned it?
It is amazing how often we blame others for the things that happen to us. And it is not just a problem with children — I know a lot of adults who can’t seem to accept guilt when things go wrong.
But part of growing is learning these five key principles of responsibility. We’ll call them the five “As” of accepting blame.

First, admit when you do something wrong. Everyone makes bad choices and the first step in overcoming them is being honest about it.

Second, apologise for how your transgression affected others. Make it right if you can. Third, accept the consequences of your actions. And don’t expect others to pay for your mistake. Fourth, ask for forgiveness. Just because you’ve apologised, don’t assume that others have forgotten how you hurt them. Fifth, alter your choices in the future. Decide now how you plan to do things differently the next time.

From TODAY, Voices - Thursday, 26-Aug-2010
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Drug and alcohol-free attitudes

From Focus on the Family

If you want to raise drug and alcohol-free children, make sure they have the right attitudes.
If they’ve seen their parents abuse substances like tobacco, alcohol or other drugs, they will likely see it as pretty harmless.

They will think to themselves: “If mum or dad drink, or use sleeping pills to get to sleep every night, then how dangerous could it be?“

Their attitude towards drugs, alcohol and tobacco will usually reflect what you have modelled for them at home.
How their friends feel about drugs will make a big impact as well. If they hang out with children who see nothing wrong with it, they’re much more likely to give in and try it.

When it comes to keeping children off drugs, alcohol and tobacco, a healthy attitude is your greatest ally.

From TODAY, Voices - Wednesday, 25-Aug-2010
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Keep daredevils safe

From Focus on the Family

Living with a daredevil can sure keep you on your toes. Especially when they’re just a toddler. Some children seem to thrive on taking risks.

One minute they’re hanging from the bunk bed and the next they’re leaping from the couch to a chair. They seem to have no fear and no regard for their safety. They have no idea how easily they could hurt themselves.

So how do keep your little thrill-seeker safe without squelching his natural energy? Begin by explaining to them why you don’t want them using the house as a play gym. It’s not only dangerous, it’s destructive. Then make sure they have a safe alternative.

When their juices get flowing, take them to the park where they can run and climb to their heart’s content. And keep a close eye on them. Daredevils tend to take risks wherever they are. Who knows … with a little diligence and planning, you might even keep them alive until Primary 1!

How to read a man?

From TODAY, Voices - Tuesday, 24-Aug-2010
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A safe kitchen

From Focus on the Family

What’s the most dangerous room in your house? For busy toddlers, it’s usually the kitchen. While you’re busy cooking, the best place for a child under the age of three is just outside the kitchen – safe, but within view. Try using safety gates or playpens to keep them away from stoves and kitchen counters.

When you’re not cooking, make sure your kitchen is as childproof as possible. Small appliances, such as toasters, blenders and rice cookers, should be kept a safe distance from the counter’s edge. It’s best to keep them unplugged when you’re not using them.

Make sure you throw away empty cans and bottles and keep a tight lid on the dustbin. You might also start using the back burners of your stove, and turning pan handles inward. For really curious kids, consider installing a stovetop barrier. Safety locks are a must with active toddlers – especially in the kitchen.

And always store cleaning products in a high cabinet.

From TODAY, Voices - Monday, 23-Aug-2010
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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

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Tuesday, September 21, 2010

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