Give Your Marriage A Tune-Up

From FOCUS ON THE FAMILY, Today, 08-May-2008 edition

 

Give Your Marriage A Tune-Up

By Dr Bill Maier

 

When was the last time you gave your marriage a “tune up”?

 

You wouldn’t let your car go for years without checking under

the hood, so why not give your marriage the same attention?

 

Couples need regular periods to sit down and clear the air.

This is a good time to talk about the decisions you need to make,

as well as the ones that you’ve already made. Also, make sure

you don’t have any unfinished business between the two of you.

 

Ask your spouse if anything is weighing them down. Maybe

they’re worried about the kids or a project at work. They may be

feeling lonely and need a bit of time to cuddle and reconnect.

 

This is also a good time to compare calendars and do some

advanced planning for the future, like scheduling date nights,

vacations and weekend getaways.

 

The point is, don’t let your marriage break down for lack

of servicing. Regular tune-ups can do wonders to keep

your marriage running strong.

Forgiveness is a Choice

From FOCUS ON THE FAMILY, Today, 07-May-2008 edition

 

Forgiveness is a Choice

By Dr Bill Maier

 

What do you do when someone says they’re sorry?

 

The same thing you do even if they don’t. You forgive them.

 

Forgiveness isn’t about the other person; it is about you.

Holding a grudge only holds us hostage to the wrongs of others.

 

Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. Few people feel like

Forgiving when someone has hurt them, but dwelling on it

only makes things worse.

 

The first step in moving forward is to decide to forgive — even if

the offending party has not acknowledged their wrongdoing.

 

And forgiveness doesn’t mean you forget the transgression.

You just decide to no longer hold it against the other party.

 

You give up the right to nurse a grudge, or to use the episode

against the offender.

 

So when someone says they’re sorry — or even when they don’t —

learn to forgive.

Raising Young Peacemakers

From FOCUS ON THE FAMILY, Today, 06-May-2008 edition

 

Raising Young Peacemakers

By Dr Bill Maier

 

“Sally, stop hitting your brother! Billy, quit pulling Susie’s hair!”

 

Sounds familiar? Maybe it’s time for a crash course in

conflict management.

 

There’s a lot we can do as parents to help kids resolve arguments

before they get out of hand – that is if they don’t kill each other first!

 

Here are three key principles for raising young peacemakers.

 

First, teach them that most conflicts are caused by self-centredness.

When two people want their own way, an argument is inevitable.

 

The key to getting along begins in the heart, by putting the feelings

of others ahead of our own.

 

Second, explain that not all disagreements are bad. Conflict can be

an opportunity for growth. It helps us learn how to compromise

and solve problems through negotiation and creativity.

 

Third, teach your children to think before they speak. Too often,

arguments arise when children say things they don’t really mean.

 

A good peacemaker learns to weigh his words carefully.

Because once words are past the lips, they can never really be

taken back.

Explaining to Kids the Birds and the Bees

From FOCUS ON THE FAMILY, Today, 05-May-2008 edition

 

Explaining to Kids the Birds and the Bees

By Dr Bill Maier

 

“Mommy, where do babies come from?”

 

If your toddler has not asked that question yet – get ready!

 

Too often parents avoid these tough questions about

the birds and the bees, and their kids grow up confused.

 

Many learn about sex from anyone else but their parents.

The slang and obscenities they hear on the playground

become their first real glimpse into the subject, and most

of what they learn is either inaccurate or unhealthy.

 

The best place for children to learn about their sexuality

is at home, from those who care about their future relationships,

as well as their moral fibre.

 

The best time to approach the subject is while they are

still young and curious.

 

“The talk” doesn’t have to be graphic or uncomfortable,

just honest and age-appropriate.

 

Find some good books from experts you trust on how to

best teach your kids about the birds and the bees.

 

And don’t wait until they stop asking questions – that only makes

the topic more awkward.