Mi Choza De Nipa: 06/07/2009

Friday, June 12, 2009

VIOLENT TELEVISION

Image by supa m.b. via Flickr

By Dr James Dobson

Suppose a complete stranger comes to your door and tells you, "You look tired, why don't you just leave the children with me?" I doubt many of you would say: "Great Idea, come on in!"

When we leave our children in front of the television, we're giving over control of them to complete strangers. That's a risky thing to do.

An increasing number of studies have found that violence on television frequently leads later to aggressive behaviour by children and teenagers.

One of the most conclusive studies was conducted by Dr Leonard D Aaron.

His studies showed that the more frequently the participants watched violent television at the age of 8, the more serious were the crimes that they were convicted of by the age of 30 and the more aggressive was their behaviour when drinking.

It is time for parents to control the amount and the content of television their children are watching. The consequences of not doing so can be monumental.

From TODAY, Voices – Friday, 12-Jun-2009

HELPING KIDS GET ORGANISED

Image via Wikipedia

By Dr James Dobson

What's the primary reason for failure in secondary school?

According to many teachers, the answer is not laziness or poor study skills. The main reason for failure in secondary school is poor organisation.

An achieving student's file is organised with dividers and folders for handouts and assignments.

A failing student's file is most often a mess of jumbled papers, if he even uses a file at all.

Educational expert Cheri Fuller says it's a skill that should be taught early, even before students reach secondary school. It takes a good degree of organisation to keep them all straight and to prioritise assignments. They need training and other organisational skills such as planning to complete long term assignments a little at a time.

This kind of exposure and training can help a flighty adolescent become a self-disciplined and self-propelled individual in time. Organisation. It is one very important key to success in school.

From TODAY, Voices – Thursday, 11-Jun-2009

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

A different view of our parents

By Dr James Dobson

I’m more convinced every day that a great portion of our adult effort is invested in the quest for that which was unreachable in childhood. The more painful the early void, the more we’re motivated to fill it later in life.

A friend named Diane had a father who never met her needs for love and attention and belonging. Even today, he seems oblivious to the pain he has caused her. Diane used to find herself constantly feeling disappointed, hurt and rejected each time he failed to come through. But then she learned accidentally that he had been severely abused as a child. His own father and mother had died when he was a boy and the aunt who raised him was so severe, she even forbade him to cry.

Diane suddenly saw her dad in a different light. He was not just a rejecting father, he was a man with an emotional handicap. Her experience is not unique.

Loved ones who continually frustrate and disappoint us are often reacting to wounds from their own formative years. If we can react compassionately instead of expecting them to be what they can’t, we can transform our families from battlegrounds into places of harmony.

From TODAY, News – Wednesday, 10-Jun-2009; see the source article here.

No porn, please

Image via Wikipedia

This should be the way to go!

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05:55 AM Jun 09, 2009

BEIJING - China wants all personal computers sold domestically to come with software that blocks access to online pornography, which it has banned, the main developer of the software said yesterday.

The software, called Green Dam-Youth Escort, targets online porn by preventing computers from accessing sites with pornographic pictures or language, Mr Zhang Chenmin, general manager of Jinhui Computer System Engineering, told AP.

Jinhui was compiling a database of the blocked sites.

The software could also be used to block other kinds of websites, depending on keywords, he said, adding that consumers can uninstall the software if they do not want it.

Parents can develop their own lists of sites to be added to the database of blacklisted sites.

The Chinese government routinely blocks political sites, especially those it considers socially destabilising, such as sites that challenge the ruling Communist Party.

Mr Zhang said Jinhui signed a 21 million yuan ($4.5 million) contract with the Chinese government last May to develop the software and distribute it to personal computer-makers free of charge within one year, to be included with units meant for domestic sale.

According to the Wall Street Journal, China's Ministry of Industry and Information Technology told personal computer-makers that PCs sold in China as of July 1 must be preloaded with the software. The move is to prevent "harmful" information from influencing young people.

The programme would either be installed on the hard drive or enclosed on a compact disc, the paper reported, adding that PC makers would be required to tell authorities how many PCs they have shipped with the software.

Foreign industry officials who examined the software were quoted in the report as saying it could transmit personal information and make them vulnerable to hacking.

China, which has the world's largest population of Internet users at more than 250 million, this year launched a nationwide crackdown on Internet pornography, which is banned in China.

More than 1,900 websites have since been shut down. AGENCIES

From TODAY, World – Tuesday, 09-Jun-2009

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

MYSTERY IN MARRIAGE

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By Dr James Dobson

If you want to put some new life in your marriage, try thinking like a teenager again. We all remember, fondly or otherwise, the craziness of our dating days – the coy attitudes, the flirting, the chase after the prize. But as we moved into marriage, most of us felt we should leave the game-playing behind. But we may not have changed as much as we'd like to think.

The truth is that our romantic relationships will always bear some characteristics of adolescent sexuality. Grown-ups still love the thrill of the chase, the lure of the unattainable, the excitement of the new and the boredom with the old. The immature impulses are controlled and minimised in a committed relationship, but they never fully disappear. And this is the key for keeping life in our marriages. If things seem stale between you and your spouse, maybe you should remember some old tricks, repeating some of the happy moments that brought you together.

Maybe it's time for a little mystery, a little flirtatiousness, a date where you revisit the old haunts when your love was new. If it all sounds a little immature to act like a teenager again, just keep this in mind: In the best marriages, the chase is never really over.

From TODAY, Voices – Tuesday, 09-Jun-2009

Monday, June 08, 2009

The most common error

By Dr James Dobson

What is the most common error made by parents in disciplining their children? I believe it is the inappropriate use of anger in attempting to manage children. Unfortunately, most adults rely primarily on their own irritation to make children cooperate.

A teacher said: "I like being a professional educator, but I hate the daily task of teaching. My children are so unruly that I have to stay mad at them all the time just to control the classroom." How utterly frustrating that would be, and how ineffective.

Disciplinary action influences behaviour. Anger does not. I am convinced that adult irritation actually creates disrespect in the minds of children. They can see that our frustration is caused by our inability to control the situation. We represent justice to them, and yet we are on the verge of tears as we shout empty threats and warnings.

I am not recommending that parents and teachers conceal their legitimate emotions. My point merely is that anger often becomes a tool used for the purpose of controlling children. This can be damaging to the relationship between generations.

Instead, try taking a little corrective discipline that your children will care about, and then administer it with cool.

From TODAY, Voices – Monday, 08-Jun-2009

THE SERVANT SPOUSE

By Dr Bill Maier

Marriages that thrive are those where both husband and wife develop a servant mentality, looking for ways to meet each other's needs.

It doesn't take a big expensive gift to thrill your mate.

Just noticing what she needs and being willing to step in and help goes a long way towards making her life easier.

Don't wait for her to ask before giving her a hand around the house. Take time to make the bed, or put in a load of clothes.

If you see she's had a stressful day, take the kids to the playground and give her the evening off.

She might just want to go shopping, visit some friends or just stay at home.

It's the little things like these that keep a strong marriage growing even stronger.

From TODAY, Voices – Friday, 05-Jun-2009

Sunday, June 07, 2009

Schools should build bully-free culture to curb problem of school-bullying

By Zhang Tingjun, Channel NewsAsia | Posted: 06 June 2009 1927 hrs

Schools should build bully-free culture to curb problem of school-bullying

SINGAPORE: One in five primary school students are victims of school bullies while 25 per cent of secondary school students get bullied, according to statistics from the Singapore Children's Society.

In an ongoing effort to curb this problem, the society is working together with school teachers, parents and students to build a no-bullying culture in schools.

The society said a school-based approach requires the entire school community to work together with students, parents and teachers, sharing a common vision to build a safe and bully-free school environment.

Speaking at the Bully-Free Forum on Saturday, Minister of State for Community Development, Youth and Sports, Mrs Yu-Foo Yee Shoon, said parents and teachers play a crucial role in helping children who are bullied and in ensuring that children do not become bullies.

The Education Ministry has developed a Bullying Management Kit for all full-time school counsellors to manage the problems faced by both victims and their bullies. - CNA/vm

From ChannelNewsAsia.com; see the source article here.