Mi Choza De Nipa: 08/02/2009

Friday, August 07, 2009

Schaeffer’s Bridges

From Dr James Dobson

Many years ago, the late philosopher, Dr Francis Schaeffer said that the bridges that were built by the Romans nearly 2,000 years ago are still standing because they were used only for foot traffic. If large trucks or even cars were driven across them, they would have collapsed.

Dr Schaeffer said our culture is like those bridges. As fewer and fewer people know what they believe, there's an unseen weakness in the superstructure. When hard times come, it's in danger of collapsing under its own weight.

It occurs to me that many marriages share the characteristics of those old bridges today. They appear to be stable and secure. But as soon as sickness or financial reverses come, the husband and wife turn on each other with a vengeance.

Husbands and wives need to reinforce the foundations of their relationship during the good times by becoming best friends and developing a set of common interests. Only then, will they be ready for the pressures that eventually come to every family.

From TODAY, Voices –Friday, 07-Aug-2009

Beauty and the Beast

Image via Wikipedia

From Dr James Dobson

A mother once related an incident which occurred when she was taking her three-year-old son to a nursery school for the first time.

Another mother was also arriving with her twin girls, and as they walked into the centre, the director just got very excited about the beauty of the little girls. "Oh, my!" she said, "Your girls are just gorgeous!" Well, the first mother said that there were 15 other children who were standing around the room, watching and listening to their teacher, and you can believe they learned something that day, about the values of the culture. A bright preschooler is fully capable of thinking, "No one ever says that to me. It must be important to be pretty." Indeed, research has demonstrated that by the age of three, those who are physically attractive already enjoy greater popularity among their peers. Those youngsters who are not admired by their peers are often troubled by that fact from very early in life.

Cruel voices whisper their evil messages in their childish ears. "The other children don't like you. See, I told you you'd fail. You're different. You're foolish. They hate you." This is the prelude to a stormy adolescence in many cases, and it's produced by a culture that awards great value to some human beings and unabashedly withholds it from others.

From TODAY, Voices – Thursday, 06-Aug-2009

Risks of Compulsive Parenting

Image via Wikipedia

From Dr James Dobson

We've spoken on several occasions about parents who couldn't care less about their children but today I want to address those at the other end of the continuum, referring to mothers and fathers for whom the kids are the only important thing in life.

They can't spare the time for recreational, romantic or restful activities because to do so would make them feel guilty. Now, I don't question the motives behind this commitment to children but super-parenting can cause several serious problems.

First, it may lead in some cases to overprotection, permissiveness and prolonged dependency. Second, it can lead to a state of emotional and physical exhaustion known as parental burnout. Then the entire family suffers, particularly the children for whom the effort was invested in the first place. Third, super-parenting can also be destructive to a marriage, especially when only one parent is so inclined.

Moderation is the key to a healthy family life, even in one's approach to parenting.

From TODAY, Voices – Wednesday, 05-Aug-2009

Tough Times Build Strength

Image via Wikipedia

From Dr James Dobson

The ideal environment for your child is not one devoid of problems and trials. Your child needs the minor setbacks and disappointments which come his way.

A tree which is planted in a rain forest is never forced to extend its roots downward in search of water. It can be toppled by even a moderate wind.

By contrast, a mesquite tree planted in a dry desert can only survive by sending its roots more than thirty feet deep into the earth, seeking cool water. But through this adaptation to arid land, it becomes strong against all assailants.

This illustration applies to our children as well. Those who have learned to conquer their problems are more secure than those who have never faced them.

Our task as parents then is not to eliminate every challenge for our children; rather it is to serve as a confident ally on their behalf, encouraging them when they're distressed, intervening when the threats are overwhelming, and above all, giving them the tools with which to overcome the obstacles.

From TODAY, Voices – Tuesday, 04-Aug-2009

Value Your Marriage

Image via Wikipedia

By Dr James Dobson

Love is a fragile thing. Like a plant, it must be watered and cultivated or it will wither and die.

It seems, some newly-married couples have the misguided notion that their love will continue to grow naturally through the years. But the truth is that love must be maintained and protected if it's going to survive. (Love can perish when a husband works seven days a week, or when spouses don't communicate regularly.)

The keen edge of a loving relationship may be dulled through the routine pressures of living. As I experienced during the early days of my own marriage when I was working full-time and trying to finish my doctorate. My wife was teaching in school and running our small home.

I remember the evening I realised what this busy life was doing to our relationship — we still loved each other, but it had been too long since we'd felt the spirit of warmth and closeness. My books were pushed aside that night and we took long walk. The following term I took fewer classes and postponed my academic goals to help preserve what I valued more highly.

Where does your marriage rank? Does it get the leftovers from your busy schedule or is it something of worth to be supported and replenished? Let there be no misunderstanding. If left unattended, your relationship could die a slow death, and no career goal is worth that price.

From TODAY, Voices – Monday, 03-Aug-2009

Making Mums Feel Special

By Dr Bill Maier

All right kids, pay attention, because today's message is for you!

When was the last time you told Mum how much you appreciate all she does?

Have you thanked her for driving you to school and football practice and your many other activities?

How about the food she puts on the table? Or the piles of laundry she sifts through?

It's easy to take mums for granted, but the fact is, she doesn't have to do all these things.

She does them because she loves you. Why not take time to return the favour?

It doesn't take much to make mums happy – a simple note of thanks will mean more to her than you can imagine. Better yet, why not give her a day off?

Pick a Saturday and take over all the chores. Let her curl up with a good book and spend the day catering to her every need, just to let her know how much you love her.

From TODAY, Voices – Friday, 31-Jul-2009