TEACHING INDEPENDENCE 2

FOCUS ON THE FAMILY

From TODAY, Voices
Wednesday, 28-January-2009

By Dr Bill Maier

Sometimes, the best thing we can do for our children is to let them make their decisions on their own.

When our children are very young, we parent by controlling what they do. We tell them what to eat, where to go, and what they can and cannot get into.

It’s our job to keep them safe and teach them right from wrong. But as children get older, they start to assert more control over their lives – and that’s a good thing.

But many parents are so used to making decisions for their children that they try to hang on to that control – sometimes for much longer than they should.

As children become teenagers, it’s important to let them think for themselves. They still need parenting, but on a different level.

Instead of controlling what they do, our job is to guide and mentor them towards good decisions. If we’ve raised them right, this transition should come about naturally.

Full Monty - first time in SG

From TODAY, News

Wednesday, 28-January-2009

I thought I'd capture this event here. I've read about a couple making out inside their van, and some others in still private places, but this couple, well, they were exhibitionists! Displaying their private parts in public places. What's more, the lady is a local...

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TEACHING INDEPENDENCE

FOCUS ON THE FAMILY

From TODAY, Voices
Friday January 23, 2009

By Dr James Dobson

How does a child learn to handle freedom and independence? It takes a calculated effort by his parents. Teaching your child to deal responsibly with independence is like luring him out of a five-storey window with a rope. You do it little by little, hand over hand. If you let the rope out all at once, he may plunge to the ground.

I remember a test of my own independence when I was 17 years old. My parents were going on a trip and they left me behind with permission to have some school friends stay over. I behaved responsibly while my folk were gone, but I always wondered why they took that risk. When I asked my mother about it years later, she smiled and said: “Because in one year you would be leaving for university, where you would have complete freedom. I wanted to expose you to that independence while you were still under my influence.” My mother exemplified an important child-rearing principle: She prepared me for independence.

If you have children, let them test the waters of freedom as they’re growing up, rather than thrusting them into total independence all at once. Then, when they’re on their own, they’ll know how to handle it responsibly and wisely.