Mi Choza De Nipa

Image via Wikipedia By Dr James Dobson A lookout on a battleship reported light in the distance, so the captain had the signalman send a message, “We’re on a collision course . Advise you change your course 20 degrees.” Minutes later a signal came back, “Advisable for you to change your course.” The captain angrily ordered that another signal be sent, “I’m a captain. Change course 20 degrees.” Again came the reply, “I’m a seaman, second class. You’d better change your course.” Furious by this point, the captain barked a final threat, “I’m a battleship! Change your course!” The signal came back, “I’m a lighthouse .” The captain changed his course. It is foolhardy to ignore the beacons that warn us of danger. They come in various forms: Symptoms of health problems, prolonged marital conflict, rebellious children, excessive debt, stress, etc. These are the warning signs of approaching danger. From TODAY, Voices - Thursday, 22-July-2010 ----- Related articles by Zemanta...

This is a Father's Day post, and while late, i still would want to send out the greetings to all fathers out there: Happy Father's Day. Be blessed as a father , and be a blessing today! ----- By Dr James Dobson I’m told that when I was just a child — maybe two years of age — my family lived in a one-bedroom apartment. My little bed was located beside the bed of my parents. My father said it was common during that time for him to awaken at night to a little voice whispering: “Daddy? Daddy? Daddy?” My father would answer quietly: “What, Jimmy?” And I would say: “Hold my hand!” And Dad would reach across the darkness and grope for my little hand, finally engulfing it in his. He later said that the instant he had my hand firmly in his grip, my arm would become limp and my breathing deep and regular. I had immediately fallen back to sleep. You see, I only wanted to know that he was there! Until the day he died, I continued to reach for him — for his assurance, for his g...

by Dr James Dobson I remember a bank advertisement that encouraged people to borrow, asking the question : “What do you need to make you happy?” How foolish, I thought, to believe that a new car, a boat or even a house can bring lasting bliss. Materialism is a disease that infects the human family — and it’s not a problem only in affluent cultures. Author and financial counsellor Ron Blue tells of visiting a small, rural village in Africa . Ron asked a villager what was the biggest problem facing his community. The man said: “Materialism.” Ron was taken aback. He expected it to be the lack of food or medical help, or perhaps problems with neighbouring villages. But materialism? These villagers didn’t have televisions or cars or cable TV — the sorts of things we associate with “the good life”. But this villager told Ron: “If a man has a mud hut , he wants one made out of cow manure. If he has a cow manure hut, he wants a stone hut. If he has a thatched roof , he wants a tin...

Image via Wikipedia by Dr James Dobson One of the most difficult responsibilities parents face is the task of letting go. When children are young, parents should be deeply involved in their lives, providing love and protection and authority. But when those boys and girls grow up and reach their late teens and early twenties, the door must be fully opened to the world outside. Teenagers are more likely to make the proper choices when they aren’t forced to rebel in order to gain their freedom. The simple truth is that love demands freedom. But, the key point is that a sudden release of parental guidance and direction at the end of childhood carries dangerous implications for the adolescent. Grant independence little by little, as our kids are able to handle the new responsibility. The final release should represent a small step toward freedom, rather than a tumble off the cliff into anarchy. We need to cut loose the strings of authority over a period of about eighteen years,...

Image via Wikipedia By Dr James Dobson One of the best ways to show your children how to succeed may just be to teach them how to fail. It’s not news to anyone that youngsters mimic the behaviour of their parents. And since parents are being watched, they obviously need to be careful about what their children see. This is especially true when it comes to handling failure and disappointment. Do we set ourselves up as models of perfection that never fall short of our goals? Or are we able to say to our kids: “I’m sorry — I really blew it this time.” If we miss out on something that we really wanted — say, a new job — do we mask our feelings by offering phony excuses, or do we simply say: “Apparently the bosses thought Mr Lim would be better suited for the job.” Our children must see that Mum and Dad can admit their failure and their shortcomings, and that the world won’t end because they did. Some of the greatest times of growth between parents and children can occur when youngs...

Image via Wikipedia By Dr James Dobson When you want to offer advice to a person about a flaw or a shortcoming in his or her character, it’s best to do it the way porcupines make love: Very, very carefully. It’s often difficult to open the eyes of friends or relatives to their own blind spots. It’s even more risky to discuss a mistake in the way parenting responsibilities are being handled. You’re liable to get your ears pinned back, even when your motives are honourable and you have the other person’s interest at heart. Let me offer a suggestion that may be helpful in handling this delicate assignment. The right to criticise must be earned, even if the advice is constructive and desperately needed. Before you’re entitled to meddle with another person’s self-esteem, you must first demonstrate your respect for him as a person. You have to invest some time and effort in his life in an atmosphere of love and kindness, and human warmth. When a relationship of confidence has been c...

Image via Wikipedia By Dr James Dobson If self-esteem is something we value for our sons and daughters, maybe it would be helpful to assist them in achieving it. It seems like every teenager has to come along today and bump his head on the same ol’ rock , experiencing those terrible feelings of inferiority and inadequacy. To help kids minimise that experience, I’ve found it beneficial to talk to them about confidence long before adolescence has arrived. For example, when a young child meets another who’s too shy to speak or even look at him, you might say afterwards, “Did you notice that Jimmy didn’t look at anyone when he spoke? Why do you suppose he seemed so embarrassed when he was talking to us? Do you think he doesn’t have much confidence in himself?” And as the primary school years unfold, you can talk openly about feelings of low self-worth, and how they translate into action. When we train our children in this way — to see others in a truer light, while preserving t...

Image via Wikipedia From Dr James Dobson A mother once related an incident which occurred when she was taking her three-year-old son to a nursery school for the first time. Another mother was also arriving with her twin girls, and as they walked into the centre, the director just got very excited about the beauty of the little girls. "Oh, my!" she said, "Your girls are just gorgeous!" Well, the first mother said that there were 15 other children who were standing around the room, watching and listening to their teacher, and you can believe they learned something that day, about the values of the culture . A bright preschooler is fully capable of thinking, "No one ever says that to me. It must be important to be pretty." Indeed, research has demonstrated that by the age of three, those who are physically attractive already enjoy greater popularity among their peers. Those youngsters who are not admired by their peers are often troubled by that fact from...

Image via Wikipedia By Dr Bill Maier There's nothing quite as frustrating as having to change your four-year-old's bed sheets three times a week. You know they're big enough to wake up in the night, yet they can't seem to do it. Bed-wetting is normal and very common among preschoolers. And children who are older often have at least one parent who had the same problem. In most cases, these children become dry at about the same age that their parents did. Here's a bit of reassurance: Almost all kids grow out of it within a few years — most of them before the age of six. Dr James Dobson , author and psychologist, has two words of advice for parents of bedwetters. First, keep it a secret between you and your child. And second, use patience, not discipline. There's no reason to embarrass or punish a child over something they can't control. From TODAY, Voices – Wednesday, 29-Jul-2009 Related articles by Zemanta Parental Decisions Regarding Bed-wetting and Di...

By Dr James Dobson I’m more convinced every day that a great portion of our adult effort is invested in the quest for that which was unreachable in childhood. The more painful the early void, the more we’re motivated to fill it later in life. A friend named Diane had a father who never met her needs for love and attention and belonging. Even today, he seems oblivious to the pain he has caused her. Diane used to find herself constantly feeling disappointed, hurt and rejected each time he failed to come through. But then she learned accidentally that he had been severely abused as a child. His own father and mother had died when he was a boy and the aunt who raised him was so severe, she even forbade him to cry. Diane suddenly saw her dad in a different light . He was not just a rejecting father, he was a man with an emotional handicap. Her experience is not unique. Loved ones who continually frustrate and disappoint us are often reacting to wounds from their own formative yea...

By Dr James Dobson Have you ever been awakened in the middle of the night by a boy or girl who was obviously terrified but couldn't tell you why? That child may have just experienced what's known as a "night terror," which is very different from a nightmare. It's important to understand the difference. If children are awakened in the middle of the night by a nightmare, they can usually describe the story and tell you what was so scary about it. Then they can be comforted and tucked in for the rest of the night. But youngsters in the midst of night terrors usually can't be brought to consciousness , even though they may sit up straight in bed with their eyes open. It appears that night terrors occur in what is known as Stage Four sleep, which is deeper and farther from consciousness than any other human experience. Nightmares , on the other hand, occur in Stage Three sleep, which means they're closer to consciousness. The good news is that there appear ...

By Dr James Dobson Have you ever thought about how long it takes to raise a human being and get him or her ready for independent living ? It takes us 20 years or more to try to produce a son or daughter who can earn a living and stay out of trouble and make normal adult decisions. Seriously, we probably won’t find many shortcuts, for the simple reason that there aren’t any. Let’s face it: This child-rearing task is the most long-term project we will ever attempt. And like any other long-term task, the important thing is not to give up, but to persevere, and reach the joy of the finish line. Why have I chosen to offer this advice today? Because there are many voices out there telling parents to give up; to bail out; to think only of themselves. And there will be many discouraging moments along the way. But as the father of two grown kids, I can tell you that the childhood years pass ever so quickly; yet the rewards of doing that parenting job properly will last for a lifetime. From ...

By Dr James Dobson American educator William Lyon Phelps once said: “Every man who is happily married is a successful man, even if he has failed in everything else.” I certainly agree. For many years, I lived a short drive from the J Paul Getty Museum in Southern California , which houses some of the most incredible artwork in the world. This priceless collection was just one small hobby for Getty, who was reportedly the richest man alive in his time. He ruled over an enormous oil empire. When asked how much he was worth, he answered: “Several billion dollars,” and he added: “… but remember, a billion dollars isn’t worth what it used to be.” Getty was a workaholic . He had six failed marriages and poor relationships with his sons. His wives said that they could never share a life with this man who was possessed by an all-consuming passion for business. What do you suppose J Paul Getty thought about on his death bed in June 1976? Here’s one quote that opens a window into the soul o...

By Dr James Dobson Have you ever found the courage to say “I’m sorry” to a child? It’s a tough thing to do and, frankly, my father never was very good at it. I remember working with him one day in the backyard when I was 15, on a day when he was particularly irritable. He picked on me for everything I did, even when I hurried. Finally, he yelled at me for something I considered petty, and I just threw down the rake and quit. I walked off, and I walked across our property and down the street while my dad demanded that I come back. It was one of the few times that I ever took him on like that. I meandered around town for a while wondering what would happen when I got home and ended up at my cousin’s house on the other side of town. After several hours, with knees shaking, I called home. “Stay there,” said my dad, “I’m coming over.” To say that I was nervous would be a gross understatement. In a short time, dad arrived and asked to see me alone. “ Beau ,” he began, “I didn’t treat you ri...

By Dr James Dobson The mother of a preschooler asked me how she could raise her little girl so as to minimise the chances of adolescent rebellion down the road. She had seen teenagers get into drug abuse and premarital sex and other harmful habits, so she wanted to know if there was anything she could do to set up a more tranquil adolescence . I told her that when I was a kid, my parents kept me out of trouble with a battalion of rules. They had regulations for every misbehaviour, and so did most other parents. And then the culture reinforced those rules and, somehow, it usually worked out pretty well. But that won’t get the job done today. It’s a different world, and there are just too many opportunities for kids to go wrong. They still need boundaries and limits but something else is required. They need the motivation to do what’s right, and that desire to live responsibly comes principally from a loving relationship by parents who have invested themselves in their children . Pa...

By Dr James Dobson There is, in the world of nature, a phenomenon known as the “Adversity Principle” which means that difficulties and hard times can actually be more beneficial to plants and animals than continual easy living. As strange as it seems, habitual well-being can be disadvantageous to a species . Think about the big male lion lying in a cage at the zoo . All his needs are met, and his hunting skills are useless. Meanwhile, the lion roaming free on the plains of Africa , stalking and competing for his next meal, remains fit and strong by the challenges and dangers he faces. This principle is seen throughout nature, where the necessity to adapt and struggle, if it doesn’t result in death and extinction , tends to produce a tougher species with a better hold on life. Could it also be that adversity is beneficial to human beings , as well? Within limits, that seems to be the case. Although we complain and squirm when it comes our way, our first response to trouble is to say,...

By Dr James Dobson So many men I meet have such good intentions. That is why they say yes to their wife and children so often. Unfortunately, as plans change and other pressures take priority, those yeses soon become nos. This turns many men into promise breakers. Are you a promise breaker or keeper? How would your children answer if we asked them that question? A son asks his father: “Dad, can we go bowling on Saturday?” The father replies: “Sure,” without really thinking. The days pass and then Friday comes and the man’s boss asks if he can come in for a few hours on Saturday. The man says yes. Saturday morning , his son is waiting for him with his bowling gear ready by the door. “Sorry son, I forgot about bowling. Daddy has to work today. Maybe next week,” says the man. And another promise has been broken. What the world needs and what your children need are more promise keepers and less promise breakers. Is there a commitment that you have made recently that you have pushed to t...