The No-Knock Policy

From FOCUS ON THE FAMILY, Today, 19 Mar 2008 edition

 

The No-Knock Policy

By Dr James Dobson

 

We’ve been talking these last few days about youngsters

who need a little help coping with peer pressure and rejection.

 

Another suggestion for parents is that they teach their kids

what I call a “no-knock” policy.

 

One of the common characteristics of a person who feels

inadequate is that he or she talks about it to anyone

who will listen.

 

This self-criticism isn’t as uncommon as we might think.

You may even be surprised by how often you tell your friends

about your own faults and while you’re babbling about all

your inadequacies, the listener is formulating impressions

of you.

 

After all, you’re the expert on that subject. If you think

you’re a loser, then others are going to tend to see you that way.

 

You can help your child understand this simple principle.

Teach him or her to accept blame and criticism when it’s valid,

but not to continually talk about embarrassing flaws and failures.

 

If your kids learn to respect themselves, others will tend

to be more respectful, too.

 

It’s called a “no-knock” policy.

Get Them Moving

From FOCUS ON THE FAMILY, Today, 18 Mar 2008 edition

 

Get Them Moving

By Dr James Dobson

 

We were talking the last time about the importance of teaching

specific skills to primary school children that can be beneficial

during the storms of controversy.

 

But this raises a point of controversy. Some parents just do not feel

that they have the right to make a decision of this kind for their

children, so they sit back and hope that the kids will choose

something useful for themselves. Few actually do it.

 

Learning a new skill is difficult and discouraging at the beginning.

That is why parents should make a careful assessment of a child’s

strengths, select a sport or a musical instrument or promising

talent to develop, then reward him, push him, beg him,

bribe him, if necessary, but make him learn it.

 

It is part of being a good parent. My dad decided I was going to

learn to play tennis when I was eight years old. I hated it.

 

But then one day, I played a game with a neighbourhood kid

and I beat him and I loved it and I began to get the idea.

 

Throughout pre-university and university, I was known

as a good tennis player and I thought of myself that way.

 

I thank my dad for that. Will you do as much for your children?

The Freedom of Simplicity

The Freedom of Simplicity

 

 

Happiness is not found outside of you. It doesn’t come from cars,

clothes, cash, or Caribbean cruises. Happiness is found within.

But how can you find it if you don’t have the simplicity of time

and space to discover the most important things in your life?

How can you search the depths of your soul if you are too busy

impressing others, acquiring wealth, protecting your properties,

and paying your debts?

 

Simplicity is not about the external either: living in a doghouse,

eating in a Hepatitis joints, wearing rags.

 

Let me define what it is: Simplicity is living from the core

of your being.

 

 

A TREASURE MAP OF HAPPINESS

 

Simplicity will point to you where and what and who the gold is

in your life.

 

Let me share with you the seven powerful lessons I’ve learned

on simple living:

 

LIVE ON LESS, AND DELIGHT IN THEM MORE

 

Some take their pleasure dining in classy restaurants, trips

to Europe, and owning the latest home theatre-equipment.

I’ve chosen the simple path: If I can simply be with my wife,

or take a quiet stroll under a canopy of stars, or play with

a child, or read a good book in my home, or laugh with friends

over a pizza, I consider myself richly blessed.

 

Focus on what you have and not on what you don’t have.

 

STOP RUNNING AND WALK INSTEAD

 

Here’s the truth: The person who has covered the greatest distance

does NOT win, but the one who has most enjoyed the journey does.

Stop running around chasing your own tail! Get off your hurried

pace and learn to breathe. Replace doing with being. Learn to say

no to invitations, appointments, and commitments, activities

and events that will rob you of your focus. Learn to say “yes”

to rest, to tranquillity, to quietness.

 

YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR WEALTH

 

I own very few things today. Because I am more than the brand

of my watch, the logo of my shoes, the name of my car. I believe

that if in my soul I deeply respect and value myself, people

around me will sense that, and they too, will value and respect me –

whether I’m wearing Armani or not.

 

You are more than your wealth.

 

AVOID BUYING ON CREDIT

 

I don’t believe in borrowing from credit cards. (For convenience,

I use one card but I pay the whole amount at the end of each month.)

If I need something really bad, I save up for it. Sometimes, at midpoint,

I realize I don’t really need the darn thing and give up the whole idea.

The only exception I feel we should enter into a credit is when buying

a non-depreciating item, such as housing or land.

 

I believe we should always live within our earning capacity.

 

Proverbs 22:7 says, “Those who borrow are slaves of moneylenders.”

 

GIVE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN

 

If I content myself with P250 ($10) shirt instead of P4,000 ($150)

Lacoste, I can help others more. Trust me, there is immense pleasure!

You will find that the empty thrill of owning a diamond ring on

your finger pales in comparison to the joy of handing a piece of

bread to an orphan child.

 

“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in

all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound

in every good work.” (2 Corinthians 9:8)

 

The Old Testament of tithing, or giving 10% of your income is

a good guideline to follow. The New Testament challenges us to

give with a cheerful heart. (When you’re cheerful, you may give

more than 10%!) Make it a habit.

 

SAVE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN

 

Saving is essential to being good stewards of the money that God

“lends” to us. Saving is an important way of providing for our

Future -- both for our needs and to be generous to others. I recommend

that you save at least 10% of your income. I can almost hear you now:

“Bo, that’s impossible!” Oh yeah? Well, how did you live three years

back when your salary was one-half its present amount?

 

Sacrifice. Many of our needs are actually wants. Is cable TV a need?

Will you suddenly die if you can’t watch CNN or HBO? Are those

new golf clubs essential to your existence?

 

Invest in time deposits, long-term stocks and housing.

 

BUDGET, BUDGET, BUDGET

 

Make a list of all your monthly expenses, according to categories.

Make also a list of irregular expenses -- those that don’t come

monthly. Set up another savings account for these expenses and

put in a little money each month. To differentiate this from the

savings account, we call ours “freedom account” because it frees us

from worrying about them when they suddenly attack.

 

And stick to your budget!

 

ONE LAST WORD BEFORE WE CLOSE

 

Balance. Don’t take living simply to the extremes! Living simply

doesn’t mean living in deprivation.

 

There are special days when my wife and I eat in a fancy restaurant.

Or when we splurge into a vacation. Very rare, yes, but my point is

that you take living simply NOT as a rigid goal -- but as a happy

process towards the goals of generosity, inner peace and holiness.

 

****

 

Makes sense, doesn’t it?

Facing Death

FACING DEATH

 

One of the most difficult trials each of us will face is the death

of a loved one. It is hard to keep things in perspective when death

strikes so close to home, isn’t it?

 

Modern man strives frantically to prolong life and overcome

death’s power. Physicians use extraordinary measures to keep the

sick and dying alive just a little longer through wonder drugs,

organ transplants, and sophisticated machinery. That was certainly

the case when my nephew, Kenneth, was dying of AIDS several years

ago.

 

 But death continues harvesting its fruit without prejudice toward

age, race, social level, or education. Death continues to be cynical,

cruel, and real. No one escapes its cold fingers. Our appointment

is sure. Neither money, fame, nor intelligence exempt us from death;

everyone succumbs.

 

How should we respond as believers when a dearly loved Christian

relative or friend dies?

 

Shortly before my father died he suddenly sat up in bed and sang

a chorus about heaven. Then he fell back on his pillow and said,

“I’m going to be with Jesus, which is far better.”

 

My father had committed his life to Jesus Christ nine years earlier

and was confident he would spend eternity with the Lord. He was

thirty-six years old when he went to glory; I was only ten at

the time.

 

He died just hours before I returned home from a term at boarding

school. I had no way of knowing what had happened as I stepped off

the train that day and ran home. But as I neared my house I could

hear weeping.

 

My relatives tried to intercept me as I ran through the gate and up

to the house; I brushed past them and was in the door before my mother

even knew I was back. Tears filled my eyes when I saw my father’s

expired body lying in front of me.

 

I felt devastated by my father’s death. My world seemed shattered

and confused.

 

I was angry at everything and everybody. It isn’t fair, I thought.

Why couldn’t my dad die in old age like other dads?

 

A missionary delivered the message before my father’s burial the

next morning. It was only then I felt complete assurance that my

father was in heaven.

 

Oh, I still missed my dad terribly. I still felt the pangs of grief.

But I rested in the hope that one day, when my pilgrimage is over,

I will see him again.

 

Grief is a normal part of facing the death of a loved one. We do

grieve at the death of other believers, but not as those who have no

hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13).

 

Jesus gives us these words of comfort: “Do not let your hearts be

troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are

many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going

there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place

for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also

may be where I am” (John 14:1-3). That is our blessed hope

as believers!

 

Yes, the grieving process is absolutely normal for our emotional

and physical well-being. But as Christians we do not have to be

swallowed up in that grief, or allow anger or bitterness to take

root in our hearts.

 

We can face death with hope, realizing it is not the end. Death

is merely earth’s door to heaven.

To Ponder

 

Has anyone close to you died? Who? Did he or she know the Lord?

When did he or she die, and how did you respond?

To Pursue

 

If you are still grieving for a loved one who has died, take a few

minutes to tell the Lord about your grief and reaffirm your trust

in Him.

Remember Pearl Harbor and September 11!

REMEMBER PEARL HARBOR AND SEPTEMBER 11!

 

“For you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like

a thief in the night. While people are saying, ‘Peace and safety,’

destruction will come on them Suddenly…”

(1 Thessalonians 5:2-3, NIV)

 

At approximately 8:00 A.M., on Sunday Morning,

December 7, 1941, a striking force of 353 Japanese aircraft

attacked Pearl Harbor on Oahu Island, Hawaii. The surprise

attack came without warning and without any formal

declaration of war.

 

At 8:45 A.M. and 9:03 A.M., Tuesday morning, September 11,

2001, the entire world was shocked by the unprecedented

terrorist attack on the World Trade Center in New York and

at 9:43 A.M. on the Pentagon. Again the attack came without

warning and without any declaration of war.

 

As the theme, “Remember Pearl Harbor,” has gone down in

history, so will “Remember September 11” also go down in history.

 

I have not visited the site of destruction in New York but,

as I wrote some months ago, I have visited the Pearl Harbor

Memorial in Hawaii. This was a sobering experience. At the time

of the attack on Pearl Harbor, American leaders were well aware

of the pending threat of the Japanese military might and were still

caught off guard. But as far as we know nobody in America except

for the terrorists knew anything of the pending September attack.

 

Our world will never be the same again.

 

While millions of people around the world have suffered tragically

at the hands of warmongers, terrorists, and evil dictators for years,

we in the West have felt safe and secure, believing we were well

protected by military might, especially that of the most powerful

military in the world, that of the armed forces of the United States.

Not so any more. Gone forever are the days of false security. Surely

we have been awakened to the fact that the forces of evil are alive

and well in our so-called day of great enlightenment.

 

while the Japanese were talking peace with the Americans, they

were planning sudden destruction. Recently I read how several

years ago Ollie North warned that Bin Laden was the most evil

man on earth, and how he was scoffed at.

 

According to God’s Word, the Bible, there will never be peace on

earth until the Prince of Peace, the Lord Jesus Christ, comes again

to put down all evil forever. And at this time of the year when we

REMEMBER CHRISTMAS/EASTER and celebrate the first coming

to earth of Jesus and His dying on the cross, we need to be aware

of the fact that when we least expect it, he will come again. The

good news is that we can be just as certain of his second coming

as we are of his first. His first coming was predicted in the Bible

hundreds of years prior to the event and every prediction was

fulfilled in minutest detail. And so it will be with his second

coming.

 

The important thing is that we need to be ready. Jesus warned us

that prior to his coming, wars and evil would greatly increase.

He also warned the world saying, “When men say, ‘Peace and

safety,’ then will come sudden destruction.” And again, “Be

ready for when you least expect it, I will come again!”

(See Matthew 24:44)

 

Let none of us be caught off guard or unprepared for the great

world battle that is yet to come, the Battle of Armageddon,

which many Bible scholars believe will be after the return of

Jesus Christ to earth.

 

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you for the graphic reminder

through the tragic events of December 7, 1941, and September 11,

2001, of your warning about wars and rumors of war that will

precede your coming again to take all who believe in you to

Heaven and to end the war of all wars. If I have never accepted you

as my personal Lord and Savior, I want to do that right now.

Please help me so to live that I will always be ready for your

return. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

And, some artworks... made of food