Mi Choza De Nipa: 07/26/2009

Thursday, July 30, 2009

A Mind of Their Own

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By Dr Bill Maier

It doesn't take new parents long to discover that kids like to make their own decisions.

They always have strong ideas about when they should eat, sleep or play. And that's a good thing.

Parents would worry about them if they didn't show signs of individuality.

Kids need to learn to think for themselves and make their own decisions.

The downside is kids don't always make the best decisions.

Sometimes they choose to obey; other times they choose to rebel.

Primary schoolers don't always do their homework, and teens don't always obey their curfew.

That's why parenting by trying to control doesn't work.

Instead of forcing them to obey, we need to instill in them a desire to be obedient.

And that's done through developing a loving, caring relationship from the earliest age.

From TODAY, Voices – Thursday, 30-Jul-2009

Dealing with a Bed-wetter

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By Dr Bill Maier

There's nothing quite as frustrating as having to change your four-year-old's bed sheets three times a week.

You know they're big enough to wake up in the night, yet they can't seem to do it.

Bed-wetting is normal and very common among preschoolers. And children who are older often have at least one parent who had the same problem.

In most cases, these children become dry at about the same age that their parents did. Here's a bit of reassurance: Almost all kids grow out of it within a few years — most of them before the age of six.

Dr James Dobson, author and psychologist, has two words of advice for parents of bedwetters. First, keep it a secret between you and your child. And second, use patience, not discipline. There's no reason to embarrass or punish a child over something they can't control.

From TODAY, Voices – Wednesday, 29-Jul-2009

Ban hugging, kissing in trains

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I think I agree with this, since commuters include children who, by all means, should be 'shielded' from these adult (or should I call it inconsiderate) show-offs; we can't afford to openly and willingly 'corrupt' the minors, can we?

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Letter from Beevi

FURTHER to the discussions about the "No eating, no drinking" regulations in MRT stations and trains, as well as those about commuters who don't give up their seats to the elderly, et cetera, I would like to ask: What about commuters who behave intimately? Aren't they a public nuisance?

I often see couples hugging and kissing in the trains and on the platforms.

I think there should be "no hugging, no kissing" signs in the trains as well.

From TODAY, Plus – Wednesday, 29-Jul-2009

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Mummy’s Boy

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By Dr Bill Maier

Mothers have an extraordinary influence over their sons' futures.

If you could peek into the lives of most successful men, you'd find a mother who planted those seeds of success while he was just a boy.

When he faced a tough task or problem, she was there to cheer him on, saying: "I know you can do it!"

When he messed up, she'd tell him: "You'll do better next time."

When he accomplished a goal, she was quick to remind him what a bright boy he was.

Mothers who stand behind their sons and encourage them in every situation are doing more than building their self-image.

They are laying the groundwork for a lifetime of success and accomplishment.

Most importantly, they're teaching them to never give up, no matter how hard life gets.

From TODAY, Voices – Tuesday, 28-Jul-2009

Preparing for a New Baby

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By Dr Bill Maier

So, how would you feel if your husband brought home another woman?

Believe it or not, that's how many kids may feel when a new baby arrives home from the hospital.

When young kids struggle with jealousy over a new baby in the house, there are some things you can do to reassure them they haven't been replaced.

First, start preparing them during your pregnancy, and make them feel a part of it.

Tell them how much you're going to need their help with the new baby.

Second, make sure your older children are part of the new baby pictures in the hospital room.

Dad should have a gift for them to give to their new little brother or sister.

Next, remind them of all the things they can do that the baby is too little for, like feeding themselves, or staying up a little later before bedtime.

And finally, when your family makes over the baby, make sure they remember that you have other kids as well.

From TODAY, Voices – Monday, 27-Jul-2009

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Learning to Fight Fair

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By Dr James Dobson

Since there's conflict in every romantic relationship, learning to fight fair just might be the most important lesson any couple can master.

There's a real difference between healthy and unhealthy combat in marriage. And everything depends on the way disagreements are handled.

In an unstable marriage, hostility is usually meant to hurt and it's often directed at the soft underbelly of the partner's ego.

On the other hand, healthy conflict remains centered on the immediate problem at hand. For example: "It upsets me when you don't tell me you'll be late for dinner."

Can you hear the difference? Even though the subject matter might be equally emotionally intense, the focus is on the specific problem in the relationship and not on what you perceive as a basic personality defect of your mate.

When couples learn this important distinction, they have the freedom to disagree and work through conflicts with their dignity still intact.

From TODAY, Voices – Friday, 24-Jul-2009

Safety in Learning

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By Dr James Dobson

Most children tend to admire teachers who can be strict without being unpleasant. A teacher who can control a class without being oppressive or mean is almost always loved by her students.

One reason is that there's clearly safety in order. When a class is out of control, especially in kindergarten, the children are afraid of one another. They can be vicious with one another, and they feel good with having a strong teacher who's in charge.

Second, children love justice. When someone has violated a rule, they want immediate retribution. They admire the teacher who can enforce an equitable legal system.

Third, children admire stricter teachers because chaos is nerve-racking.

When you look at the secret of success behind a championship sports team, a magnificent orchestra, or a successful business, one of the principal ingredients is invariably firm discipline.

Schoolchildren thrive when that same component is present in their classrooms.

From TODAY, Voices – Thursday, 23-Jul-2009

Talking to a Teen

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By Dr James Dobson

There are some teenagers who sail right through the adolescent experience with hardly any evidence of turbulence at all.

They make wonderful grades in school, they're a delight to their teachers, and a treasure to their parents.

There are, however, others who seem to declare war on the world, and they stay mad at every adult for about 10 years.

Mark Twain was referring to this second kind of child when he wrote: "When a child turns 13, you should put him in a barrel, nail a lid down on it, and feed him through a knot hole. And when he turns 16, you should seal up the knot hole."

There are times when parents feel that way, to be sure. Well, what are you going to do if your sweet, cuddly, cooperative son or daughter turns into a sullen, silent teenager? The answer is: You go on loving him or her.

There's so much going on inside that youngster, hormonally and emotionally, that explains what you see on the outside. But better days are coming. The smile, and a rich, full vocabulary will return. I promise.

From TODAY, Voices – Wednesday, 22-Jul-2009