Parents as detectives
Image by Graela via Flickr
Sometimes being a good parent requires the skills of a detective, decoding the messages behind your child’s actions. The most successful parents have the skill to see through the eyes of their child. Unless we master this, we may react in a harmful way.
For example, when a two-year-old screams and cries at bedtime, one must find out what he’s communicating. If he is genuinely frightened by the dark, the appropriate response should be different than if he is merely protesting about having to go to bed. A child’s defiant actions may be asking the question, “Are you in charge or am I?” Or your child’s antagonism may be saying, “I feel unloved now that I’m stuck with that screaming baby brother – Mum used to care for us; now nobody wants me – I hate everybody.”Perhaps the toughest task in parenthood is to recognise the difference between these two distinct motives. That’s why raising children is such a lofty skill that can never be reduced to a formula or a set of rules. It inevitably involves an ability to read the child like a book, feeling his passions and responding appropriately to his needs.
From TODAY, Voices - Friday, 30-April-2010-----
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