Mi Choza De Nipa

By Dr James Dobson When I hear someone comment that being a mother and homemaker is boring, I have a simple response: You're right! The truth is, almost any occupation you can name involves long hours of tedious activity. Few of us enjoy excitement each moment of our professional lives. I once stayed in a hotel room right next to the room of a famous cellist who was performing in a concert that evening. I could hear him through the walls as he practised hour after hour. He didn't play beautiful symphonic renditions; he repeated scales and runs and exercises, over and over and over. This began early in the morning and continued until the time of his concert. As he strolled on the stage that night, I'm sure many in the audience thought: "What a glamorous life!" Some glamour! I happen to know he spent the entire day in his hotel room with his cello . I doubt if the job of being a mother and homemaker is more boring than most other jobs, particularly if a...

By Dr James Dobson Children nowadays live in a world without heroes, and that may be because we’ve taught them that genuine heroes don’t really exist. According to Mr Peter H Gobbon, headmaster of the Hackley School in New York , the tradition of teaching exemplary lives — the study of heroes and role models — has ended. My generation studied the courageous individuals who succeeded against all odds. Admittedly, some of these stories became a bit idealised, but they inspired us to reach for the best within us. Today’s students know all the dirt and the weaknesses of human failure. Yes, Abraham Lincoln was politically calculating and he suffered from depression. But he exhibited astonishing political and moral courage and always appealed to “the better angels of our nature”. I think parents must stand against this onslaught and help the next generation find worthy heroes again. How else can they tell good from bad? We should be cautious about emphasising human failure at too...

Image via Wikipedia By Dr James Dobson When there are children in the house, a wife needs her husband’s understanding more than ever. No one works harder than a mother who has multiple preschool children. Not only does she have many responsibilities, she experiences an unusual kind of emotional stress as well. Youngsters between two and five years of age have an uncanny ability to unravel an adult’s nervous system , with their constant talk and their endless questions. Furthermore, they’re a perpetual danger to themselves and others throughout the day. Even if mum begins her morning with guarded optimism, by 4pm, the pressures often reduce her to a lump of play dough. Is there anything the husband can do to make things easier? Well, I suggest he starts with a little understanding. It’s a well-known fact that human beings tolerate stress much more easily if at least one other person know they’re enduring it. This is highly relevant to young mothers. The frustrations of ...

Image via Wikipedia By Dr James Dobson How does a happy, cooperative 12-year-old boy or girl suddenly turn into a sullen, depressed 13-year-old? There are two powerful forces that overtake our children in the early pubescent years, and account for some of the strange behaviour that drives parents crazy. The first is social in nature , with incredible pressures being inflicted on adolescents by the peer group . But the second, which I think is more important, is hormonal in nature. We can see the effect of these hormones on the physical body, of course, but something equally dynamic is occurring in the brain . Human chemistry apparently goes haywire for a few years, affecting mind as well as body. This internal upheaval will motivate a boy or girl to do things that make absolutely no sense to the adults watching anxiously on the sidelines. There’s a tendency for parents to despair during this period of transition. Everything they’ve tried to teach their sons and daughters ...

Image via Wikipedia By Dr James Dobson Considering how expensive and difficult it is to be a good parent, many people wonder these days why anyone would want to even have children . I’m reminded of a woman whom I met a few years ago. Her hair was a mess and the black circles under her eyes revealed a state of utter exhaustion. As she stumbled past me with seven youngsters, I asked: “Do all those children belong to you? Or is this some kind of picnic?” She replied: “They’re all mine and believe me it’s no picnic”. The woman is right. Parenthood is an assignment that demands everything we can give it. And to do the job right requires some sacrifice and maybe even a few tears. And yet nothing worth having comes cheap. Speaking as a father, there’s never been a greater moment in my life than when I gazed into the eyes of my newborn daughter and son. What could be more exciting than seeing those tiny human beings begin to blossom, grow and learn? And what reward can be more mean...

Image via Wikipedia By Dr James Dobson When you want to offer advice to a person about a flaw or a shortcoming in his or her character, it’s best to do it the way porcupines make love: Very, very carefully. It’s often difficult to open the eyes of friends or relatives to their own blind spots. It’s even more risky to discuss a mistake in the way parenting responsibilities are being handled. You’re liable to get your ears pinned back, even when your motives are honourable and you have the other person’s interest at heart. Let me offer a suggestion that may be helpful in handling this delicate assignment. The right to criticise must be earned, even if the advice is constructive and desperately needed. Before you’re entitled to meddle with another person’s self-esteem, you must first demonstrate your respect for him as a person. You have to invest some time and effort in his life in an atmosphere of love and kindness, and human warmth. When a relationship of confidence has been c...

By Dr James Dobson Sometimes, even the best of parents have a hard time accepting their children just the way they are. Parents of a child who is extremely shy, for example, will often ask me how they can pull him out of his shell. At home he may make profound statements, he may share observations about life, he may even tell the funniest jokes. But in public his tongue becomes wedged to his cheek and his head drops as if glued to his chest. Why is he so introverted around strangers? It could be because he’s been hurt or rejected in the past. But it’s more likely he was born that way. No amount of goading or pushing by his parents will make him outgoing or confident. His shyness is a function of his innate temperament. My advice to parents of such a child is simply this: Give up trying to make him something he cannot be. Go with the flow, accepting him just the way he is made. Then look for those special qualities that give that boy or girl individuality and potential. Nurture...

Image via Wikipedia From Dr James Dobson A mother once related an incident which occurred when she was taking her three-year-old son to a nursery school for the first time. Another mother was also arriving with her twin girls, and as they walked into the centre, the director just got very excited about the beauty of the little girls. "Oh, my!" she said, "Your girls are just gorgeous!" Well, the first mother said that there were 15 other children who were standing around the room, watching and listening to their teacher, and you can believe they learned something that day, about the values of the culture . A bright preschooler is fully capable of thinking, "No one ever says that to me. It must be important to be pretty." Indeed, research has demonstrated that by the age of three, those who are physically attractive already enjoy greater popularity among their peers. Those youngsters who are not admired by their peers are often troubled by that fact from...

By Dr James Dobson Have you ever thought about how long it takes to raise a human being and get him or her ready for independent living ? It takes us 20 years or more to try to produce a son or daughter who can earn a living and stay out of trouble and make normal adult decisions. Seriously, we probably won’t find many shortcuts, for the simple reason that there aren’t any. Let’s face it: This child-rearing task is the most long-term project we will ever attempt. And like any other long-term task, the important thing is not to give up, but to persevere, and reach the joy of the finish line. Why have I chosen to offer this advice today? Because there are many voices out there telling parents to give up; to bail out; to think only of themselves. And there will be many discouraging moments along the way. But as the father of two grown kids, I can tell you that the childhood years pass ever so quickly; yet the rewards of doing that parenting job properly will last for a lifetime. From ...

By Dr James Dobson There is, in the world of nature, a phenomenon known as the “Adversity Principle” which means that difficulties and hard times can actually be more beneficial to plants and animals than continual easy living. As strange as it seems, habitual well-being can be disadvantageous to a species . Think about the big male lion lying in a cage at the zoo . All his needs are met, and his hunting skills are useless. Meanwhile, the lion roaming free on the plains of Africa , stalking and competing for his next meal, remains fit and strong by the challenges and dangers he faces. This principle is seen throughout nature, where the necessity to adapt and struggle, if it doesn’t result in death and extinction , tends to produce a tougher species with a better hold on life. Could it also be that adversity is beneficial to human beings , as well? Within limits, that seems to be the case. Although we complain and squirm when it comes our way, our first response to trouble is to say,...