The Man Who Would Not Lead His Family

I was looking for some leadership articles, and at the same time, something that may be applicable to the family as well. Look what I found; lifted from Ezine article directory. This is my 1,200th post, by the way.

Read on, and be blessed!
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The Man Who Would Not Lead His Family
by Angie Lewis

"My husband won't lead the family in bible study or prayer. He won't even discipline the children. What can I do?"

"Is your husband a Christian?"

"Oh, yes." She replied.

"Have you talked with your husband about how you feel?"

"Yes, I have told him until I am blue in the face about his lack of support in the home."

"Well, that's the problem. You're telling him what he should do rather than allowing him to appreciate what his God-given responsibilities are. When a wife is bossy or naggy with her husband it makes him feel like a child. But he isn't married to his mother. You should allow your husband to lead in the way that is most comfortable for him; let him feel in control by letting him be in control"

"What if my husband doesn't want to participate in his God-given responsibilities in the home?"

"You said he was a Christian, right? He needs to know that he can trust you. A wife is a husband's right arm, not both arms. A man needs to feel accepted in his humility before God. Don't try and undermine or control him. Maybe he has never spiritually led the home before because you have always done it for him. Your husband wants to be taken seriously. He knows what his responsibilities are. Let him meditate on those things without speculation and interference from you."

"What about the children?" She asked me. "I have two rebellious teenagers who need their father's discipline and protection. Someone needs to counsel them."

"You're right about that. Your children are at an age where others can easily influence them. And of course, you want to impress on them the grace, mercy and love of Christ. So right now, you will need to counsel your children about the big bad world out there.

"I don't know if they will listen to me." She said.

"Stay focused in your prayers on what God can do for you and your family. Stay faithful and believe that God does hear your prayers and will answer them in His way. He will not allow anything to happen to your children that they themselves cannot handle on their own. God will answer your prayers because you are His child and He loves you."

"I will try and do what you have told me." She replied.

"Keep praying for your husband everyday. It could be that your husband has repressed his spiritual influence in the home for some reason. If that is the case, he needs reassurance from you about his headship position. I would encourage you to be humble, compassionate and submissive with him as he tries to listen to what God is asking him to do. Your husband will find his true calling. But he won't if you boss him around or if you treat him like a child."

"True calling?"

"A Christian husband's true calling is to lead his family in the wisdom and knowledge of God. Everything else is secondary, even his career. What's the use being a Christian if you aren't going to share what you know with your family and teach them to follow in the ways of the Lord? Christian's are to serve others by helping them to see the kingdom of God here and now. Christian's have been given spiritual gifts and we are to use those gifts for the glory of God.

"What if a man isn't married and doesn't have any children?" She asked curiously.

"If he is a Christian, then he is to lead others in God's wisdom and knowledge in whatever serving capacity he has been given by God."

"But, what if he doesn't know what that capacity is?" She asked.

"It may take some time for him to figure out what his spiritual gifts are, but a true Christian man will eventually come to find his place with God and serve according to what God has led him to do using those gifts."

"So are you saying that leading means to serve?" She asked.

"Yes, exactly! That is what I am saying. You lead your family as a mother and wife every single day. When you discipline the children you are leading them to do what is right and good. When you respect and honor your husband and his position you are actually leading him to become the man of God he was meant to be. A wife is a leader in her own right"

"Wow! I never thought about it like that before." She said in wonderment.

"Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care, serving as overseers - not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve, not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:2,3 NIV)



Angie Lewis is the author of three marriage books offering marriage tips and wisdom filled answers tackling such issues as addiction, adultery, pornography, emotions, beliefs, feelings, marriage, children, forgiveness, communication, submission and spiritual influence in the home.

Love The Man You Married is a great teaching tool for couples. Every Christian wife and husband should read this informative book on marriage. ISBN: 1411677501

New Release: Love The Woman You Married - This is a great book on finding and putting to work your purpose for mariage, and understanding the aspects of submission and spiritual influence in the home. A wonderful teaching guide about how God designed marriage to be. Excellent resource for husband and wife to read together. ISBN 978-1-4303-0047-2

To preview these books go here: http://www.lulu.com/AngieLewis

Journey on the Roads Less Traveled - A Very inspirational book! Meet Jesus Through the Author's own spiritual journey. ISBN:1-4137-8890-4

Marriage Resources-http://www.heavenministries.com

Article Directory: EzineArticles



Taken from Ezine directory, with the same title
The Man Who Would Not Lead His Family
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Swing high, swing low - my mood swings go...

When what you are becoming crosses the thin line of your health issues and mental issues, diagnosis becomes a challenge, and the treatment may be quite difficult to administer. Those who have a problem are the first to quickly deny it, and those who are sick are first to say they are well.

Here is one area when it involves both physical and mental problems, and how it can be helped.

Read on...

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'Mood swings' could be a sign of bipolar disorder

SINGAPORE: You're exuberant, upbeat and as happy as a lark one moment. Then, pessimistic and anxious the next.

Before you brush it off as another regular mood swing, think again.

You could be suffering from bipolar disorder, a mental disorder that affects approximately 0.5 to 2 per cent of the world's population, including celebrities such as funnyman Jim Carrey and Ben Stiller. Britney Spears' recent erratic behaviour was also reportedly caused by bipolar disorder.

Unlike depression which is characterised by a pervasive low mood people with bipolar disorder experience dramatic mood swings, from the lows of depression to extreme mania.

Said Dr Mok Yee Ming, registrar at Institute of Mental Health's department of general psychiatry: "Severe changes in energy and behaviour go along with these changes in mood. The periods of highs and lows are called episodes of mania and depression.

"These episodes typically recur across the life span. In between episodes, most people with bipolar disorders are free of symptoms and may function normally," added Dr Mok.

An episode can last from a few days to weeks or even months.

Pre-school teacher Grace who withheld her real name due to the nature of her job had her first brush with the condition after her first child was born.

The 46-year-old mother of two has suffered eight episodes of mania and depression each lasting for as long as nine months for the past 19 years.

"I was exuberant and so full of energy that I couldn't rest even for a moment during my confinement. My mother would nag at me to rest but I was very happy looking after my baby, keeping the house clean and making sure everything was perfect," said Grace.

"When I returned to work, I wanted everything to be just as perfect at home and at work. I wanted to prove to my boss that I could perform just as well as before."

But in less than two months, depression set in when she could not cope. She often "cried for no reason" and contemplated suicide.

Like Grace, patients with bipolar disorder can experience symptoms of manic highs before spiralling downwards to depression.

"During an episode of manic high, the patient may feel exceedingly energetic, exuberant, elated or have racing thoughts," said consultant psychiatrist Dr Adrian Wang, who runs Dr Adrian Wang Psychiatric and Counselling Care at Gleneagles Medical Centre.

"He or she may also have a decreased need for sleep and an excessive need for pleasure-driven activities such as shopping sprees or sexual intercourse," he added.

In milder cases, it is not uncommon for the condition to go undetected, said Dr Wang. "When the person is moody or irritable, it may seem like a character flaw. But it could actually be a medical problem."

Presently, scientists don't know for sure what causes bipolar disorder, although environmental and genetic factors may play a role.

Stress, as in Grace's case, may also play a role in triggering the illness.

Because bipolar disorder is a recurrent illness, a patient might require long-term preventive treatment comprising a combination of medication and psychosocial treatments.

"Medications, known as mood stabilisers, are usually prescribed to help control the symptoms. In addition to medication, psychosocial treatments which include counselling and teaching patients to cope with his or her emotions are also helpful," said Dr Wang.

Like other serious illnesses, bipolar disorder can be hard on the patient's family and friends.

Dr Mok explained: "They often have to cope with the patient's serious behavioural problems such as wild spending sprees during a manic episode or the hopelessness and pessimism during a depressive episode — as well as the consequences that follow."

While such behavioural problems can make it especially difficult and frustrating for other people to empathise with their condition, Dr Wang said that it is important to realise that bipolar disorder is not a sign of weakness or a character flaw.

"No one chooses to be like this. You don't have bipolar disorder because you're a bad person," he added. - TODAY/ar

Taken from ChannelNewsAsia.com, Health - Thursday, 18-March-2010
'Mood swings' could be a sign of bipolar disorder
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When children divorce (2)

Image by Collaborative Law Institute of Texas via Flickr

By Dr Bill Maier

Watching your child go through a divorce can often feel worse than getting one yourself. Any parent who has had to help a child suffer through a divorce knows how devastating it can be for everyone involved. It’s easy to point fingers and pass judgment, but that’s not what your child needs most.

During these times, the best you can do is to first make sure your own emotions are in check. Then, carefully choose your words and actions. Your job is to help diffuse anger and frustration, and to bring a healthy perspective. Blaming only causes more resentment, when forgiveness is the only road to true healing.

Sometimes, young children are involved, and someone needs to be there for them, helping them navigate the feelings of pain and resentment they may be experiencing.

A clear head and a helping hand is what people most need during tough times. And you may be the only one who can offer that.


From TODAY, Voices - Friday, 07-May-2010
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When children divorce

Image by Jeffry B via Flickr

By Dr Bill Maier

It’s always tough to hear that someone’s getting a divorce. But what about when that “someone” is your child?

There’s nothing quite as devastating as a divorce in the family and when your own child is involved the pain and shock can feel unbearable. You want to protect them but you don’t know how. The best you can do is to simply be there for them — physically and emotionally.

Your first step should be to discern whether there’s any chance of reconciliation.

You might even encourage them to postpone the divorce until they’ve had a chance to go through marital counselling. But keep in mind that the decision isn’t yours to make.

If they decide to go through with the divorce, give your unconditional support and stay with them. Be ready with advice and counsel but only when asked.

Above all, don’t pass judgment — on your child or their spouse. What they need is support, not more guilt.


From TODAY, Voices - Thursday, 06-May-2010
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Our biggest struggle

By Dr Bill Maier

What would you say is your biggest struggle as a parent?

Many parents might point to television and other media.

Others might say peer pressure — and that is a big one.

The wrong kind of friends can do irreparable harm to our kids’ future.

Still others might point to drugs or alcohol — especially if there’s a history of abuse.

These are all real concerns, but for most of us, our biggest struggle as parents is our own emotional inadequacies.

We carry a lot of psychological wounds and baggage from our childhood, and don’t always know how to handle problems when these occur.

That’s why it’s so important to read and research advice from those who have already been through what we’re in the midst of.

There are lots of great resources on the market, if we could just take the time to look.

From TODAY, Voices - Wednesday, 05-May-2010
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