Mi Choza De Nipa: 06/21/2009

Friday, June 26, 2009

Love is a Rose

By Dr James Dobson

One of the great myths about love is that if a couple is genuinely in love, that condition is permanent and will last a lifetime.

Love, even genuine love, is a fragile commodity.

Like more than one popular song has said, love is like a rose. It must be carefully maintained and protected if it is to survive. Love can easily be overcome by weeds of a busy life.

When a husband or wife works seven days a week, when there's no time for romantic activity, when they forget how to talk to each other; then love can die.

During the early days of my marriage to my wife, Shirley, I was working full-time, and trying to finish a doctorate at USC. Shirley was teaching and maintaining our home. I realised what this busy lifestyle was doing to our relationship. We still loved each other but it had been too long since we felt the warmth and closeness. I pushed my textbooks aside and we went for a long walk. The following semester I carried a very light load in school and postponed my academic goals so as to preserve my marriage.

Where does your marriage rank on your hierarchy of values? Does it get choked out by the weeds and stray branches of your busy schedule? Or is it a rare rose of great worth to be preserved and gently tended? Maybe it's time to do some marital gardening.

From TODAY, Voices – Friday, 26-Jun-2009

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Coping With Anxiety

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By Dr James Dobson

One of the unfortunate characteristics of life in the modern world is the high level of anxiety so many people experience.

Most of us have moments when we feel some kind of emotional discomfort. But for many, gripping fears and uneasiness are everyday companions. This anxiety may manifest itself in the form of dizziness, headaches, nausea, stomach cramps, an inability to concentrate, and persistent conflict with others. For those who find themselves in this situation, let me offer some common-sense suggestions that may help.

First, we must take care of our physical being. We need adequate sleep and make the time to exercise and relax because there is a connection between mind and body.

Second, we should dig for insight. It is widely believed that anxieties such as agoraphobia are the by-products of repressed feelings. We must learn to deal with them. If we're bitter over a wrong, we must find a way to forgive. If we're afraid of our own anger, lust or greed, we must come to terms with our imperfection.

Only when we've begun to clean up the powerful emotions stored in the toxic dump of our minds, will we rid ourselves of their seepage into our daily lives.

From TODAY, Voices – Thursday, 25-Jun-2009

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Releasing the Reins

Image by Goodimages via Flickr

By Dr James Dobson

Everybody understands that teenagers are itching to get out on their own; not have parents telling them what to do anymore.

But this yearning for control actually starts much earlier. It's an inevitable part of growing-up. I remember one mother of a little four year old girl who was demanding her own way. So the mother said: "Now Jenny, you're just going to have to obey me. I have the responsibility to lead you." Well, little Jenny then said: "How long does it have to be that way?"

Well, that illustrates my point. Already at the age of four, this child was yearning for a day of freedom. The task for us as parents is to hang onto the reins of authority in the early days. And then gradually ground independence as maturity arrives. Power granted too early produces childhood folly, but power granted too late brings rebellion.

It is a wise parent, indeed, who can let go little by little as the growing child is able to stand on his own. If you watch and listen carefully, the critical milestones will be obvious.

From TODAY, Voices – Wednesday, 24-Jun-2009

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Look in the Mirror

Image by carf via Flickr

By Dr James Dobson

Do you want to see what kind of men and women your children will grow up to be? Take a look in the mirror.

A wise man once said: "The footsteps a child follows are often those that the father thought he covered up." How true that is. There are facts we can pass on to our children and skills we can teach; but how our children really learn is by watching us and observing our every move; by absorbing what we do and who we are.

Someone once said: "Values are not taught to kids; they're caught by them." They're picked up routinely through the subtle influences of simply being together through the day.

A poem by Herbert Parker sums it up best. He said:

"To get his goodnight kiss he stood

beside my chair one night,

and raised an eager face to me,

a face with love alight.

And as I gathered in my arms

the son God gave to me,

I thanked the lad for being good

and hoped he'd always be. "

His little arms crept round my neck

and then I heard him say,

four simple words I can't forget;

four words that made me pray.

They turned a mirror on my soul,

on secrets no one knew.

They startled me, I hear them yet.

He said: 'I'll be like you.'"

Do you still think what you do as a mother or father doesn't really matter? It does. Believe me, it does.

From TODAY, Voices – Tuesday, 23-Jun-2009

Monday, June 22, 2009

Feeling Angry? Just count to 10

By Dr James Dobson

We've often heard the old suggestion that we should count to 10 when we get angry.

It can be very valuable to have a cooling-off period before acting on those feelings. The reason for waiting is that anger is not only emotional, it's biochemical as well. The body is equipped with an automatic defence system called the "fight or flight" mechanism, which prepares the entire organism for action. When we're upset or frightened, adrenaline is pumped into the blood stream, setting off a whole series of physiological responses within the body. In a matter of seconds, the individual is transformed from being calm to a state of alarmed reaction.

All of these biochemical responses are involuntary. What isn't involuntary however, is our response to these sudden changes.

We can choose to hold our tongue; to remove ourselves from the provocative situation, particularly when we're dealing with children who anger us.

We can control the impulse to lash out verbally or physically, doing what we will certainly regret when the passion has cooled. Not only can we exercise this self-control, we absolutely must.

From TODAY, Voices – Monday, 22-Jun-2009

Montana woman uses chickens as therapists

Image via Wikipedia

06/20/2009 | 07:12 PM

POLSON, Montana — Therapy dogs can be a comfort for seniors and those recovering from illnesses and injuries.

So how about therapy chickens?

Jana Clairmont of Polson, Montana, calls her therapy birds — a white rooster and Cornish game hen — "Fowl Play."

On Thursday, she took them to visit residents at Polson Health and Rehabilitation Center in northeast Montana, the Missoulian newspaper reported.

Many seniors were raised on farms, Clairmont says, and holding a chicken can bring back memories.

As one man stroked the rooster, Alex, the bird stretched out his neck and rested it across the man's forearm, like a puppy.

Clairmont has arranged visits to retirement and assisted living homes, and says she'd like to take Alex and Carlita, the hen, into classrooms this fall. - AP/

From GMANews.tv; see the source article here.