Mi Choza De Nipa

By Dr Bill Maier When is the best time to tell a child that they were adopted ? I get asked this question often from adoptive parents, and my answer is always the same: As soon as they’re old enough to understand. Obviously, it’s important to use age-appropriate language. When the child is two or three, make sure they understand how special they are to you. Say to them: “Mummy and daddy chose you over all the other children in the world.” When they’re a little older, you might start explaining the difference between a biological and an adoptive parent. A four-year-old could be told that some kids have two different mums — one who took care of them inside her tummy, and another who took them home from the hospital to love and care for them. Adoptive kids will find out sooner or later. And if you’ve kept it a secret, they’ll wonder what else you haven’t told them. So, be as honest as you can from the earliest age. From TODAY, Voices - Wednesday, 14-July-2010 ----- Re...

By Dr Bill Maier All teenagers want to be trusted by their parents. But trust is something you earn, not demand. A counsellor once asked a group of teenagers: “How many of you consider yourselves to be honest with your parents?” Not one hand went up. When she asked why, one student answered: “I don’t actually lie; I just don’t tell them all the facts.” Sadly, a lot of teenagers have the same attitude. And they then complain when their parents do not trust them. But trust is a precious gift, and you have to work to gain it. You begin by developing a habit of telling the truth, no matter how painful it may be, even if you have to suffer consequences. And when you give your word, always follow through. When your plans change, call home to let your family know. And take care of things you borrow. It’s the little things each day that build trust between children and their parents. Once developed, trust seldom diminishes. From TODAY, Voices – Friday, 03-Jul-2009 Related a...