The most common error

By Dr James Dobson

What is the most common error made by parents in disciplining their children? I believe it is the inappropriate use of anger in attempting to manage children. Unfortunately, most adults rely primarily on their own irritation to make children cooperate.

A teacher said: "I like being a professional educator, but I hate the daily task of teaching. My children are so unruly that I have to stay mad at them all the time just to control the classroom." How utterly frustrating that would be, and how ineffective.

Disciplinary action influences behaviour. Anger does not. I am convinced that adult irritation actually creates disrespect in the minds of children. They can see that our frustration is caused by our inability to control the situation. We represent justice to them, and yet we are on the verge of tears as we shout empty threats and warnings.

I am not recommending that parents and teachers conceal their legitimate emotions. My point merely is that anger often becomes a tool used for the purpose of controlling children. This can be damaging to the relationship between generations.

Instead, try taking a little corrective discipline that your children will care about, and then administer it with cool.

From TODAY, Voices – Monday, 08-Jun-2009

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