Hold them close and let them go

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by Dr James Dobson

One of the most difficult responsibilities parents face is the task of letting go.

When children are young, parents should be deeply involved in their lives, providing love and protection and authority. But when those boys and girls grow up and reach their late teens and early twenties, the door must be fully opened to the world outside.

Teenagers are more likely to make the proper choices when they aren’t forced to rebel in order to gain their freedom. The simple truth is that love demands freedom.

But, the key point is that a sudden release of parental guidance and direction at the end of childhood carries dangerous implications for the adolescent. Grant independence little by little, as our kids are able to handle the new responsibility. The final release should represent a small step toward freedom, rather than a tumble off the cliff into anarchy.

We need to cut loose the strings of authority over a period of about eighteen years, so that when our children are beyond the reach of our leadership, they no longer need it.

From TODAY, Voices - Thursday, 01-April-2010
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