Telling A Child About Adoption

From FOCUS ON THE FAMILY, Today, 03-March 2008 edition

By Dr James Dobson

 

Telling A Child About Adoption

 

In this day when one in five couples is infertile, more and more

families are looking to adoption as an alternative choice.

 

For those who have taken this step or are presently contemplating it,

there’s the issue of how to tell the child that he or she is adopted.

Let me offer four suggestions that I hope will be helpful.

 

First, begin talking to your toddlers about their adoption before

they can understand the meaning of the words. That way,

there will never be a moment when disclosure is necessary.

 

Second, celebrate two birthdays with equal gusto each year:

The anniversary of their birth and the anniversary of the day

they became your child.

 

Third, present the adoptive event as something that brought

great excitement in the household. The child’s interpretation

of the adoptive event is almost totally dependent on the manner

in which it’s conveyed during their early years.

 

And fourth, when the foundation has been laid and the issue

diffused, then forget it. Don’t constantly remind the child of

his uniqueness to the point of foolishness.

 

I believe it’s possible, by following these common-sense suggestions,

To raise an adopted child without psychological trauma or

personal insults.