Setting boundaries with in-laws

By Dr Bill Maier

It’s nice to live within driving distance of relatives, but it can also create problems, especially when they assume you’ve got an open-door policy. In-laws are notorious for dropping by uninvited.

When you’re newlyweds, they’re usually so happy to have you close by that they forget to draw boundaries.

In these cases, it’s important to set some ground rules — respectfully, but firmly. I suggest you sit down together and start by telling them how much you love and appreciate them.

Then explain that you’re trying to establish your new life together, and privacy is an important part of that.

Tell them they’re always welcome, but you’d prefer them to call ahead of time.

Most in-laws will understand. If they don’t, there are some deeper boundary issues that need to be addressed.

And that’s a whole other subject.


From TODAY, Voices - Thursday, 17-June-2010
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