Single-parent blues

By Dr James Dobson

Take all the problems associated with parenting and multiply them by two. Now you have some idea of what I call the single-parent blues: Having twice the problems, with half the resources to deal with them.

How do the blues get started? Often, it’s with the single parents themselves. Unwittingly, those parents will pass on their own stress points to their kids.

Take, for example, the issue of self-esteem. Children in single-parent homes are more likely to fight and compete with one another for love and acceptance. Why? Because the parent is struggling with these very feelings themselves and has only a limited amount to share with the children.

Bitterness is another transferable commodity. If a parent feels resentment over the death of a spouse or has anger against a departing husband or wife, the children will often display feelings of anger and bitterness that they can’t explain.

A harsh attitude by the remaining parent can deeply wound children who may not share these feelings about the missing mother or father.

If you are a single parent and you’ve struggled with these impulses, I want to affirm you today.

You have the toughest job in the universe, but I’ll bet you’re doing it better than you think! Keep your confidence. Hang in there! It’s worth the stress of these child-rearing years to give them the very best that lies within.


From TODAY, Voices - Monday, 10-May-2010
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