Friday, April 23, 2010

Helping kids cope with divorce

By Dr Bill Maier

No one goes through a divorce unscathed – especially the children.

All children struggle to understand it when their parents can’t get along, no matter what their age. When parents fight or separate, children naturally blame themselves. They wonder if there’s something they’ve done to cause the problems, or if there’s anything they should have done to fix it.

That’s why it’s critical to let kids know that a divorce is not their fault. And that it’s a painful process for everyone. By calling a divorce “amicable”, you’re saying to your child “we could stay together; we just don’t want to.” It’s not only insensitive, it’s misleading. What they need to hear is that you’ve done everything you could do to save the marriage, and that you and your spouse are solely to blame for the breakup. Only then can you begin helping your children heal the pain.

From TODAY, Voices - Thursday, 22-April-2010
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