By Dr James Dobson
We talked last time about the life-long consequences of divorce on children, but what about parent-child separation that occurs for reasons other than divorce?
Recent research confirms that the consequences of any parent-child separation are severe.
In one study of fathers whose jobs required them to be away from their families for long periods of time, the children tended to experience numerous specific reactions, including anger, rejection, depression, low self-esteem, and inevitably a decline in school performance.
I think I understand at least in small measure, the pain of that separation. In fact I experienced it for a short time when I was six years old.
My mother and father left me with my aunt for six months while they traveled. Even today I can remember vividly the evening they left.
I sat on my mother's lap while she told me how much she loved me and how she and my father would come back for me as soon as they could. They drove away as the sun was going down, and an overwhelming sense of sorrow and loneliness settled over me.
That feeling was so intense that its pain can be recalled instantly today, forty-nine years later.
In short, even when parent-child separation occurs for valid reasons in a loving home, the boy or girl frequently interprets parental departure as evidence of rejection, and rejection is dangerous any way it goes down.
From TODAY, Voices – Tuesday, 13-Oct-2009
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