From TODAY, Voices
Monday September 22, 2008
By Dr Bill Maier
“My kids know how much I love them, even though I forget to tell them a lot of the time.”
That’s what many parents may think, although that is sometimes not how their children see it.
Author John Trent tells the story of a time when he was playing American football in college. He had made a mistake on the field and the coach chewed him out for it and sent him to the sidelines.
While sitting on the bench, he said to a team-mate: “I wish he would get off my case.” The other player leaned over and said: “At least he’s talking to you. If he ever stops talking, that means he’s given up on you.”
That’s how children often interpret their parents’ silence.
It makes them feel as if they are not wanted or liked – like third-string players on a football team.
And the worst thing a child can feel is abandoned or unappreciated.
Parents often think that if they provide them with good things, their children will know how much they care. But children need to hear it.
Monday September 22, 2008
By Dr Bill Maier
“My kids know how much I love them, even though I forget to tell them a lot of the time.”
That’s what many parents may think, although that is sometimes not how their children see it.
Author John Trent tells the story of a time when he was playing American football in college. He had made a mistake on the field and the coach chewed him out for it and sent him to the sidelines.
While sitting on the bench, he said to a team-mate: “I wish he would get off my case.” The other player leaned over and said: “At least he’s talking to you. If he ever stops talking, that means he’s given up on you.”
That’s how children often interpret their parents’ silence.
It makes them feel as if they are not wanted or liked – like third-string players on a football team.
And the worst thing a child can feel is abandoned or unappreciated.
Parents often think that if they provide them with good things, their children will know how much they care. But children need to hear it.
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