Mi Choza De Nipa

By Dr James Dobson Have you played the “if only” game? It goes like this: If only my wife was more like Judy. She fixes exotic dinners, keeps a sparkling house and even goes golfing with her husband. Or if only my husband was like Johnny. He is always giving flowers to his wife, takes her dancing and does not slurp on his soup during dinner. What is wrong with comparisons like these? For one thing, the conclusions we draw are based on a distortion. We are equating the obvious flaws and shortcomings of a person we know intimately with the public image of the person we idealise. That individual is imperfect too, though it may not be as apparent across a crowded room. Besides, the comparison game insults our marriage partner and weakens the bond that makes a relationship successful. In other words, everyone loses when we engage in this mind game. We should seek to elevate each other as husband and wife: That’s the best way I know to make marriage go the distance. From TODAY, ...

By Dr James Dobson If you have checked out the parenting section of a bookstore lately, you’ve probably noticed hundreds of authors who want to tell you how to raise your children . Have you ever wondered if they really know more than you do? As a psychologist , I believe parents can learn from the specialists. But there is one thing a book will never provide, and that is one-on-one support from mums and dads who are going through the same thing. Our grandparents took it for granted that friends and family would always be there to help. But things have changed since then. These days, the best piece of advice I can give a new parent is: “Yes, read those books, but don’t stop there. Contact your local support group, hospital or family service centre and ask about parenting support groups .” You might find the encouragement and information our forefathers derived from large and loving families. Beyond that, I recommend that you go with your own instincts. You know more than...

By Dr James Dobson There’s a very special gift that men and women in their 50s, 60s and 70s have to offer to the people they come in contact with. That gift is wisdom — gleaned from years of experience. Wisdom can encourage and build up, and offer hope in troubled times. In days gone by, extended families lived together in the same house — young and old. People were able to get fresh perspectives, just by hashing out the events of the day at the dinner table. But in today’s mobile society, most of us live away from our families, and this valuable interaction is lacking. If you’re getting on in years, I’d urge you to find someone younger in your life that you could befriend. That frustrated young mother down the street might love to have an older woman come by for coffee , to listen and to say: “That’s normal. I remember when I felt just that way.” The young man in the office down the hall needs to hear from someone older and wiser: “You’re doing a good job. Keep up the good ...

By Dr James Dobson We can learn a valuable lesson from the glider pilots who soar through the skies. From my office, I can see air force pilots train. The yellow training gliders have immense wing spans and seem to ride the wind effortlessly. But eventually, the pilots exhaust the currents and they have to come down. The only way they can soar again is to be tethered behind a powered aircraft . If the trainee in the glider didn’t accept help, he would never get off the ground. Yet if that student remained tethered to the tow plane, there would never be a successful flight . Author and single mum Sandra Aldrich refers to this delicate balance in her book From One Single Mum to Another. She said: “In the early days of our singlehood, it’s often difficult to find the balance between letting friends help and leaning on them.” It’s a tough balance to be sure, but perhaps this picture of a glider being pulled aloft will encourage single parents to accept help when it’s needed and...

By Dr James Dobson We’ve all heard of corporate ladder climbers who’ve earned the label “upwardly mobile”. But I bet you haven’t heard of many people being downwardly mobile. At least not by choice. I know of two physicians who limit their practice hours to allow more time for their young children . They actually chose the opposite course of most career-minded individuals: Down-scaling their jobs, passing up career opportunities and taking a cut in pay. As one of these doctors explained: “I saw many people on their death bed and I never heard one of them say he wished he’d spent more time at the office.” Now I realise most families could not afford to slash their work hours. After all, these doctors admit it’s their higher income that allows such flexibility. Still, I like the idea of making a decision to arrange your schedule and lifestyle to give your kids your best hours, not just the leftovers. It’s a good idea not to add any new activity unless something equally engaging ...

By Dr Bill Maier Do babies really need all those vaccines ? After all, does anyone really get whooping cough , or rubella anymore? A lot of diseases that were once common have now been eliminated. And that’s because doctors were vigilant in giving vaccines. But the viruses that cause these diseases still exist, so it’s important not to let our guards down. No one enjoys getting their baby shots, but there’s a lot you can do to ease the discomfort — both for you and your baby. Ask if you can hold your baby during the procedure. And make sure you get an information sheet on the vaccine so you know what to watch for in the way of normal side effects or reactions. This will keep you from panicking later. You might also ask your doctor about relief for mild fever or pain — not for you; for the baby! Above all, be diligent. There are 12 recommended vaccines, and your baby should get them all. From TODAY, Voices - Friday, 02-July-2010 ----- Related articles by Zemanta ...

By Dr Bill Maier Are you constantly unhappy with the way you look? Maybe you need a change – and I’m not talking about a makeover. Self-image is a strange thing. Many people you would consider handsome or pretty actually struggle to accept the way they look. A girl may think her nose is too big when it’s a perfectly normal size. A man may fret over a bald spot that no one else even notices. How we see ourselves is seldom the way others see us. Poor self-image often comes from a parent who didn’t accept us, or failed to build us up as they should have. And it probably wasn’t a conscious thing on their part — they were simply reacting the way their parents reacted to them. Blaming your parents does no good. The healthy approach is to get past your childhood and move forward. Learning to accept yourself may take a lot of work — even counselling — but it’s critical to a happy future. From TODAY, Voices - Thursday, 01-July-2010 ----- Related articles by Zemanta Rob Asgh...