Mi Choza De Nipa

By Dr James Dobson One of the most poignant songs ever written is Cat's in the Cradle by the late Harry Chapin. The lyrics of that sad song tell the story of a father who has good intentions toward his young son, but is too busy with work. There are always planes to catch and bills to pay. And the father finds himself making excuses. "When are you coming home, Dad?" "I don't know when, but we'll get together then, son. You know we'll have a good time then." Despite the disappointments, the boy loves and admires his father. He repeatedly says: "I'm gonna be like you, Dad. You know I'm gonna be like you." Time passes, and the boy becomes a young man. The father's priorities have changed now. He'd like to visit his grown-up son, but now it's the son's turn to make excuses. "You see, my new job's a hassle, and the kids have the flu. But it's been nice talking to you, Dad. It's been nice talking to you....

By Dr James Dobson The chances are, at least once or twice during your role as a parent, you are going to do or say something that will make your child angry with you. Should he or she be allowed to express that emotion? If a child grows up unable to verbally express his negative emotions toward his or her parent, often he or she will show it in other ways through what psychologists call “passive aggression”. Maybe your child will pout, get bad grades, or even eat too much. Usually children are not aware that these choices are being fuelled by anger. They are simply unconscious ways of expressing accumulated hostility toward parents. So it is important to allow children to ventilate the irritations they have stored inside. On the other hand, I firmly believe that children should be taught to be respectful to their parents. I think it is wise to tell our children that they can say anything to us, including negative things, as long as it is said in a respectful manner. For example...

By Dr James Dobson It’s a good thing to praise children for the praiseworthy things they do. But is there a limit to the compliments we offer them? Praise is essential to a child’s self-esteem and children who grow up without it typically wither like un-watered plants. But too many good words for the wrong reasons can be inflationary in nature. This is called flattery, and the essence of it is that it is unearned. It is what grandma says when she comes for a visit — “Oh, look at my beautiful little girl! You’re getting prettier every day!” Or, “My, what a smart boy you are!” Flattery happens when you heap compliments on a child for something he does not achieve. Praise, however, is a genuine response to good things your child has done. It should be highly specific. “You’ve been a good boy” is too general. Much better is, “I like the way you cleaned your room today!” Or, “I’m proud of the way you studied for that math assignment!” Praise reinforces the child’s constructive ...

By Dr James Dobson I want to talk to parents today about the very important distinction between childish irresponsibility and wilful defiance. Let me explain. Suppose little Chris is acting silly in the living room and falls onto a table, breaking some expensive china cups. Or maybe he loses his books on the way home from school or leaves his bike out in the rain. Now, these are acts of childish irresponsibility, which are inevitable during the early years. Forgetting things, losing things and spilling things do not represent direct challenges to authority, and they should be handled very gently. But when a child stamps her foot and tells her mom or dad to “shut up”, something very different is going on. She’s moved into the realm of willful defiance. It occurs when the child knows what the parent wants, but she clenches her little fists, digs in her heels and prepares for a battle. It is a refusal to accept parental leadership. When this kind of nose-to-nose confrontation occurs, a fi...

By Dr Bill Maier Does your child know how to deal with a bully in school? Children who are bullied want to get the bully to stop — they just don’t always know how. Parents can do a lot to help, but it is important that we do not embarrass our kids or make a habit of working their problems out for them. Begin by talking to your child about the bullying. Help them open up and share their feelings and fears. Make sure they know that the problem is with the bully, not them. The fact is, children who pick on other kids are typically the most insecure, and they are often the most in need of help. Encourage your child to talk to their teacher or principal about what has been going on, and then to report the details back to you. Resist talking to the principal yourself unless you absolutely have to. By teaching our kids how to work through their bully problems instead of doing it for them, we’re empowering them to work through future struggles as well. From TODAY, Voices – Friday, 24-April-200...

By Dr Bill Maier When it comes to organised sports for kids, there’s the good, the bad, and the downright ugly! Sports can be a great way for kids to keep fit and learn the importance of teamwork and competition. They can develop strength and coordination, and increase their level of self-esteem. Sports also give kids an opportunity to build friendships. And good coaches make great role models. The downside is some parents and coaches focus too much on winning, creating an air of tension and pressure. When kids lose, their self-image takes a beating. And unhealthy competition is a breeding ground for physical and emotional injuries. Team sports are great for kids, but they need to be kept in perspective. Let your children choose which activities they participate in, and get to know their coaches. Praise them when they do well, and praise them when they don’t! It’s only a game, and kids need to see it that way. From TODAY, Voices - Thursday, 23-April-2009

By Dr Bill Maier And you thought it was safe to send your children to the playground! Most parents are pretty good about steering their kids away from outdated equipment and rickety monkey bars, but still, children find a way to get hurt. There are a few important guidelines to remember when sending your children to the playground. First, make sure they have adult supervision. If you cannot be there with them, see that someone else is. Second, check the equipment for safety. Toddlers should never be allowed on anything higher than 1.2 metres, and the ground beneath should have plenty of sand — between 8cm to 23cm is the standard. Finally, watch out for peeling paint, sharp edges or exposed bolts — anything that could cause a cut or splinter. Parents assume most playgrounds are safe, but nothing can replace diligence and careful supervision. From TODAY, Voices – Wednesday, 22-April-2009