High-voltage marriages

By Dr James Dobson

If you really want a “high-voltage” marriage that will go the distance, I have a suggestion for you. Which of the following two marriages is likely to enjoy the greatest physical attraction? Is it the couple who spends every waking hour together and focuses almost exclusively on one another? Or is it the man and woman who have other interests, and then after a time of some independence come closer together again as the pendulum swings? Surprisingly, it is the one that varies from time to time.

According to behavioural researchers, the healthiest relationships are the ones that “breathe” – relationships that move from a time of closeness and tenderness to a more distant posture. This ebb and flow sets up another exciting reunion as the cycle continues. This is why it's not always advantageous for a husband and wife to work together or to concentrate exclusively on one another in the absence of friends and colleagues outside the family.

There is just something about the diversity of interests and activities that keeps a couple from consuming one another and burning out the relationship in the short-run. Marriage is, after all, a marathon and not a sprint. We need to develop a regenerating system that will keep us alive for a lifetime.


From TODAY, Voices - Thursday, 27-May-2010
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