By Dr James Dobson
In marriage as in courtship, there's a simple rule of thumb for intimacy: Take your time. Some interesting research has been done recently on the emotional bonding between husbands and wives. According to Dr Donald Joy, a couple bonds most closely when they move slowly and systematically through the various stages of intimacy during their courtship and early marriage. When later stages are reached prematurely, such as when couples kiss passionately on the first date, or have sexual intercourse shortly thereafter, something precious is lost and the bonding is short-circuited.
The strongest marriages often occur where couples have walked slowly and deliberately through the progressive stages of physical intimacy, saving sexual consummation for the honeymoon. This concept is important for singles, but it also has something to say for married couples as well. Husbands and wives often make the mistake of rushing their intimacy, or taking it for granted.
But they also bond together best when they journey through the steps of intimacy regularly during their daily lives. Touching, talking, holding hands, gazing into one another's eyes and building memories are as important to partners in their midlife years, as to rambunctious 20-year-olds.
So, to lovers of all ages I say, slow it down; make it last; take your time.
From TODAY, Voices – Tuesday, 21-Jul-2009
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