THE VALUE OF ADVERSITY

FOCUS ON THE FAMILY

 

From TODAY, Voices

Tuesday, 03-February-2009

 

By Dr James Dobson

 

The self-doubt that typically accompanies adolescence, if experienced in small doses, may not be all that bad. When we see our children struggling with the conflicts associated with the teen years, especially low self-esteem, it’s tempting to wish we could sweep aside all those problems.

 

Sometimes we have to be reminded ourselves that the human personality grows through adversity. “No pain, no gain,” as they say. Those who have conquered their problems are more secure than those who have never faced them.

 

I learned the value of mild stress when I was 13 and 14 years old. It was the two most painful years of my life. I found myself in a social crossfire that gave rise to intense feelings of inferiority and doubt.

 

Yet, those two years have contributed more positive qualities to my adult personality than any other span of my life. I can say confidently that your child needs the minor setbacks and disappointments that come his way.

 

So, our task as parents is not to eliminate every challenge for our children, but to serve as a confident ally on their behalf, encouraging them when they are distressed, intervening when the threats are overwhelming, and above all, giving them the tools they need to overcome the obstacles.