From TODAY, Voices
Tuesday August 26, 2008
By Dr James Dobson
Games without rules can get out of hand pretty quick. Relationships need rules for the same reason.
We have all known people who take advantage of relationships. For instance, the sister who always expects you to babysit at the last minute or the friend who always forgets to pay you back the money you loaned him.
These “users” take advantage of people simply because they are allowed to. The key is to set clear boundaries in your relationships. You have the power to determine what you will and will not tolerate. And these boundaries need to be clear, strong and well articulated.
For example, a number of years ago, I told my brothers and sisters not to call after 9.30 in the evening so that I could focus on the needs of my immediate family. Besides, I might also want to be asleep by then.
In those early days they got a surprise when I would promptly end the call by saying: “It can wait until tomorrow.”
They soon got the message. Relationships without rules can easily go wrong, but only if you let them.
Tuesday August 26, 2008
By Dr James Dobson
Games without rules can get out of hand pretty quick. Relationships need rules for the same reason.
We have all known people who take advantage of relationships. For instance, the sister who always expects you to babysit at the last minute or the friend who always forgets to pay you back the money you loaned him.
These “users” take advantage of people simply because they are allowed to. The key is to set clear boundaries in your relationships. You have the power to determine what you will and will not tolerate. And these boundaries need to be clear, strong and well articulated.
For example, a number of years ago, I told my brothers and sisters not to call after 9.30 in the evening so that I could focus on the needs of my immediate family. Besides, I might also want to be asleep by then.
In those early days they got a surprise when I would promptly end the call by saying: “It can wait until tomorrow.”
They soon got the message. Relationships without rules can easily go wrong, but only if you let them.
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