i Say: NURTURE, NOT SMOTHER

From Voices

Today • Friday • June 20, 2008

 

CHITRA RAJARAM

Deputy Editorial Director

chitrarajaram@mediacorp.com.sg

 

SCHOOL starts on Monday, after a somewhat mixed break for many students. The debate on the work piling up on our students during the holidays continues amid the pressure built up during term time.

 

It has come to a stage where a normal school term is insufficient for students to prepare for major exams. It used to be just the PSLE, GCE O- and A-levels. Now, it seems to be every exam, not just national ones.

 

The joy of learning has become a struggle to excel. It is a case of cramming, be as exam-smart as possible and get the ultimate ‘A’.

 

But recent outcries in the letters pages of local newspapers reveal that despite all the efforts, getting that ultimate ‘A’ grade couldn’t be further away. At the last mid-year exams, many students from even the top schools failed, or were close to failing, some subjects.

 

So, to ace an exam, students go through a rigorous regime, sacrificing holidays and fun time. Then when they finally take the exams, the papers are “set to fail”, resulting in dejected, demotivated students. A wave of panic sets in and the remedial classes are set in motion again.

 

The saving grace is that when our students finally take the O- and A-levels, they do get the straight ‘A’s and make it to the top universities. But in the process, the question we have to ask ourselves is — for every student that scores straight ‘A’s, how many students give up due to the pressure? How many students would have done better if the stress levels were not so high? How many students become depressed and dejected?

 

The reality is, not everyone is a straight ‘A’s kid that does not succumb to these pressures. While there are no exact figures on this, there are many kids out there struggling to cope. This can be seen in the angst faced by anxious parents as they struggle to “fix” the problems of their children — by bombarding them with more remedial classes and tuition.

 

Is all this stress really necessary for our children to succeed?

 

Psychiatrists say that some stress is necessary for people to be truly alive. The theory is that being challenged makes people want to learn new things and keeps the brain functioning. However, if the stress gets too much and begins interfering with their development, they can become “immobilised”.

 

That is when our kids break down, resort to slitting their wrists and in graver instances — committing suicide, which fortunately, is not on the rise here.

 

An article published in the International Journal of Social Psychiatry 2006, reassures us that in “Asian societies like Singapore, suicide is rare in children under the age of 10, but like their Western counterparts, the prevalence begins to increase in youths between 10 and 14 years of age, and in the 15-to-24 age group there is a dramatic increase in absolute numbers”.

 

The data revealed that academic or school problems accounted for almost 30 per cent of what is known as the most common recent life stressors (triggers) in youth suicides. The rest were interpersonal/relationship problems (21.8 per cent) followed by family problems (19.2 per cent).

 

This is a far cry from recent reports in India, where exam season equates to suicide season. More than 30 students committed suicide due to examination stress in March this year. The last official count of 2006 says that there were 16 suicides a day due to exam stress.

 

We definitely do not want to go that way. And we don’t have to if we realise that there really is no need to apply pressure to get kids to perform — according to Dr Karen DeBord, renowned American child development specialist, who has published widely on this matter.

 

Dr DeBord throws up the philosophy that building on children’s inner motivation is most important. “Instead of paying kids a dollar for an ‘A’, tell them how proud you are of them and say, ‘aren’t you proud of yourself?’”

 

A United Kingdom based homework website that dispenses professional advice for parents and teachers, says that a verbal incentive such as praise or recognition can go a long way. This can be responsible for both improving a child’s behaviour, the standard of their work and raising their self-esteem.

 

So when school starts on Monday, I urge all educators to take a step back, see the work of your students in a positive light and give them positive reinforcement. You never know, you just might start seeing results — and won’t have to resort to “sure fail” exams in a bid to spur them on.

 

These young people are like the saplings of a young plant — nurture them and they will grow and soar high into the skies. Bombard them with too much sunlight, water and fertiliser and the saplings will die. We should nurture our children, not smother them with an overdose of everything.

 

The writer is the mother of two teenagers, one of whom is studying in a Singapore school.