Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Love Your Job



This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad  day at work…

think of this guy. Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.

He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.

She then sent it to a radio station in Ft.Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.

Needless to say, she won.



Hi Sue,


Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office.

I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you

to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me,

I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.


As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit.

This time of year the water is quite cool... So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a

diesel powered industrial 'water heater'; this $20,000 piece of equipment sucks water out of the sea.

It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a hose,

which is taped to the air hose.


Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.


What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it

down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water.

It's like working in a Jacuzzi.  Everything was going well until all of a sudden,

my ass started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.


Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back,

but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The machine

had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have

any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my ass

was not as fortunate.


When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish

into the crack of my ass. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the

communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with

five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.


Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing

in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface

to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing

but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down

his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my ass as soon as I got in the chamber.


The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my ass was swollen shut.







So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be

if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.


Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job!”

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