Keep the talk flowing

From TODAY, Voices
Thursday August 28, 2008

By Dr Bill Maier

Any marriage counsellor can tell you the most common complaint they hear from wives is: “He doesn’t talk to me any more.”

When couples are dating they spend hours on the phone, talking and laughing together, completely losing track of time. But too often something happens just a couple of years into the marriage. They find themselves with nothing to talk about.

Communication is crucial to the success of a marriage, yet many guys are wired to keep to themselves. It’s not that they’re bored with their spouse; they just don’t understand the importance of sharing their thoughts and feelings.

If this describes your marriage, then do something about it. Guys, make a concerted effort to talk to your wives. Talk about nothing or everything – it doesn’t really matter.

The key is to start communicating again. And wives, find a way to draw your husbands out, even if it means talking about football or race cars.

Don’t let silence suffocate your marriage.

Raise a SUNNY CHILD

From TODAY, Voices
Wednesday August 27, 2008

By Dr Bill Maier

Want your children to always look on the bright side of life? Well, here are five simple steps to raising a little optimist.

When children complain about something bad that has happened, quickly remind them of all the good things that are going on in their life. Teach them that just because one thing goes wrong, it doesn’t mean it should ruin their whole day.

Point out their strong points at every opportunity. Children who feel good about themselves tend to be more positive and upbeat.

When they are blue, look for ways to get them back on track. For most children, this is as simple as playing a game or baking cookies.

Make sure they get plenty of sleep and exercise. Fatigue and laziness are breeding grounds for a poor outlook.

And finally, model a sunny attitude yourself. The best way to raise “glass-half-full” children is to be a “glass-half-full” kind of person yourself.

The ideal teacher

From TODAY, Voices
Wednesday August 27, 2008

CHILDCARE
Govt should encourage stay-at-home mums to be childcare teachers

Letter from Yeo Eng Wah

WITH the Government’s plan to build more childcare centres, more teachers will be needed.

I hope the Government can tie this plan with that of encouraging more stay-at-home mothers (SAHMs) to go to work.

My child has been through a couple of childcare centres over the past few years and I must say the standard of teaching at childcare centres varies widely.

Some teachers lack communication and language skills, others speak Singlish to the children and are unable to write proper, grammatical English.

I suggest that the Government offer grants or scholarships to SAHMs who wish to rejoin the workforce as childcare or preschool teachers.

The Government has programmes to train and upgrade lower-educated SAHMs to help them find jobs.

SAHMs from the more highly-educated group (A-level, diploma and degree holders) seem to be a forgotten lot. Using their own money to upgrade themselves is expensive and risky as there is no guarantee that these mums will find jobs later.

SAHMs are ideal candidates to work in childcare centres. They have fussed over their own children long enough to know what children need and what parents are concerned about.

Some young pre-school teachers do not understand parents’ anxieties and concerns as they have not had any first-hand experience as a mum. They would benefit by learning from colleagues who are experienced parents.

Thus, I strongly believe that a scheme for training SAHMs to become preschool teachers would lead to a win-win situation for all those involved.

With everyone happier, would we not have a better birth rate?

RELATIONSHIP RULES

From TODAY, Voices
Tuesday August 26, 2008

By Dr James Dobson

Games without rules can get out of hand pretty quick. Relationships need rules for the same reason.

We have all known people who take advantage of relationships. For instance, the sister who always expects you to babysit at the last minute or the friend who always forgets to pay you back the money you loaned him.

These “users” take advantage of people simply because they are allowed to. The key is to set clear boundaries in your relationships. You have the power to determine what you will and will not tolerate. And these boundaries need to be clear, strong and well articulated.

For example, a number of years ago, I told my brothers and sisters not to call after 9.30 in the evening so that I could focus on the needs of my immediate family. Besides, I might also want to be asleep by then.

In those early days they got a surprise when I would promptly end the call by saying: “It can wait until tomorrow.”

They soon got the message. Relationships without rules can easily go wrong, but only if you let them.

CHUBBY KIDS: here’s how to help them lose weight

From TODAY, Voices
Monday August 25, 2008

By Dr Bill Maier

It’s one thing to see your husband develop a spare tyre around the middle, but what do you do when your kindergartener is getting flabby?

An increasing number of children are considered overweight, yet we’re told by experts it’s not wise to put children on a diet.

So, what’s a parent to do? The key is to change your child’s lifestyle.

Start by putting the right kind of food on the table. Serve whole grains, lean meat, fish and poultry and plenty of fruits and vegetables.

Send them to school with a packed lunch instead of giving them free rein in the cafeteria line.

Then, after school, instead of letting them veg out in front of the television, send them outside to play. Keep frisbees and soccer balls by the front door and encourage your children to run to their hearts’ content.

Helping kids shave a few inches off the middle isn’t that hard. And they may be developing habits that will last a lifetime.