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Showing posts from September 20, 2009

The Comparison Trap

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By Dr James Dobson Have you ever played the "if only" game? I've played it, and I'm pretty sure you have too. All it takes is yourself, your spouse and one other person. The game goes like this: If only my wife was more like Judy. She fixes exotic dinners every night. She keeps a sparkling house. She even goes golfing with her husband when he wants her to. Or if only my husband was like Johnny. He's always bringing flowers for his wife, and he takes her dancing. And he doesn't slurp his soup at the dinner table. What's wrong with comparisons like these? For one thing, the conclusions we draw are based on a distortion. We're equating the obvious flaws and shortcomings of a person we know intimately with the public image of the person we idealise. In other words, that individual is imperfect too, though it may not be as apparent across a crowded room. Besides, the comparison game is specifically designed to insult our marriage partner, and weaken th...

When Kids Swallow Things II

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Image via Wikipedia By Dr Bill Maier Would you know what to do if your child swallowed something harmful? Babies are always putting things in their mouths and sometimes they swallow things they shouldn't, like buttons or coins or even tiny toy parts. About 90 per cent of these things pass through their system in a couple of days with no harm. But sometimes things can get lodged in the stomach and this can cause problems. Coins are a common item that kids swallow, and some are made of zinc . When zinc mixes with stomach acid it begins to corrode and break down. This can cause ulcers or severe sickness. Button batteries, like you find in watches or cell phones , can cause the same damage if they're swallowed. If you know your child has ingested something, don't panic, but keep a close eye to make sure it passes through their system. Watch for signs of nausea or sickness. And call your pediatrician or poison control centre if you have any questions. From TODAY, Voices –...

Avoiding Poor Playmates

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Image via Wikipedia By Dr Bill Maier Some kids are natural born leaders, but most kids tend to be followers. That's not a bad thing, as long as they're following the right people. All kids struggle with peer pressure , but those who are followers seem to be more easily swayed. And when children group together, a definite pecking order starts to develop. The leaders will soon be calling the shots, and most will likely follow them. But smart kids know when to tag along and when to quietly slip away. Teach your kids how to recognize when someone is a bad influence. Ask them specific questions about their friends, like: "What kind of language does Johnny use?" or "Doesn't Cindy get into a lot of trouble at school?" Find out who they're playing with and why, and help them think through their choices of playmates. Most kids want to stay away from trouble; sometimes they just need a little help recognising the warning signs along the way. From TODAY, Voi...

It’s not about the birds and the bees anymore…

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Image via Wikipedia It's not about the birds and the bees anymore… How to talk with your kids about sex when they thing you're clueless. By Maggie Karner Thank you for coming today. That not only tells me something about your desire to be an effective parent. It says you love your children and are looking for God's guidance, but it also sends an important signal to your kid. I wanted to talk with you individually because I want to encourage you in your "vocation" as parent. This is the doctrine of vocation. The term literally means "calling." According to Luther, every Christian is called to particular offices and tasks, through which God Himself works to govern and care for His created order. Lutheran author and educator Gene Veith says "God teaches through teachers; He protects us through the vocations of police officers, firefighters, soldiers and government officials; He brings beauty through artists; He proclaims His Word and administers His S...

Behavioural ‘Red Flags’

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Image via Wikipedia By Dr Bill Maier Kids don't always tell us when something is bothering them. That's why it's important to watch for those little red flags. Any time a child's behaviour changes, it's a good sign that something different is going on in their life. It could be a problem at school, like being picked on by a bully. Or they could be having nightmares, or other unsettling events. One mother noticed that her 12-yearold girl suddenly developed separation anxiety . The behaviour seemed to come out of nowhere, so the mother knew instinctively that something was wrong. I told her to have a heart-to-heart talk with her daughter, and to try and draw her out. Children don't always share their problems, so it's important to let them know that it's safe to tell us when something — or someone — is bothering them. Just talking through a struggle is often the best way to fix it. From TODAY, Voices – Wednesday, 26-Aug-2009

Don’t kid with your child’s behavior

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Image via Wikipedia By Dr Bill Maier A lot of defiant behaviour is caused by parents who simply don't know how to discipline. But there are times when parents do all the right things yet still can't seem to keep their kids in line. In these cases, it's usually one of two things at work — either the child is extremely strong-willed, or they're struggling with some type of undiagnosed disorder, like ADHD or Bipolar syndrome. The truth is, kids who suffer from ADHD or some other developmental disorder simply don't respond to normal parenting techniques. They're not bad kids, and they're usually just as frustrated as their parents. If you're concerned about your child's behaviour, have them tested by a licensed professional. If they're diagnosed with a disorder, there are extremely effective treatments available. It could make all the difference in the world — both to you and your child. From TODAY, Voices – Tuesday, 25-Aug-2009 Related article...

Teamwork in disciplining kids

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Image by Army.mil via Flickr By Dr Bill Maier One of the hardest parts about setting limits with your kids is figuring out what those limits should be. And it's important that you and your spouse agree. The worst thing you can do is to show a divided front when it comes to discipline. Be sure you've worked out a clear plan of action with your spouse before laying down the rules to your children. Sometimes it helps to write it out, so that there's no confusion later. Never argue about your rules in front of the kids. It undermines the very thing you're trying to achieve — letting them know that your rules have no wiggle room. Most importantly, don't let yourself be ambushed by kids who try to play one parent against the other. Once the rules have been set, make sure they're enforced by both you and your spouse. From TODAY, Voices – Monday, 24-Aug-2009 Related articles by Zemanta Christian couples share an e-mail address to resist temptation (timesunion.com) ...