Mi Choza De Nipa: 10/11/2009

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Helping the Underachiever

Image by Terry McCombs via Flickr

By Dr James Dobson

There's a fancy word for kids who don't do well in school. We call these kids underachievers. I would make three recommendations that can reach some kids:

1. Since most underachievers are terribly disorganised, help him establish a system for studying. Turn off the television set and make sure the proper investment in homework is made.

2. Stay in close contact with his teachers and know what's going on in school. I promise you that your son or daughter will not keep you so informed.

3. Seek tuition to provide the one-on-one help that may make the difference.

There are some hardcore underachievers who seem determined to fail in school. For them no amount of pushing will get them motivated. In those cases I recommend that you go with the flow and accept the child just as he is.

Not every youngster can be squeezed into the same mould, and it's a wise parent who knows when to race the engine and when to let it idle.

From TODAY, Voices – Thursday, 17-Sep-2009

Taming mealtime Madness

Image via Wikipedia

By Dr James Dobson

If you've ever been around young kids at the dinner table, you know what a hassle it can be to get them to eat.

The dinner table is a major battlefield of childhood, especially during the toddler years.

But it doesn't have to be.

A mother is in a powerless position when she puts four green beans on a fork and resolves to sit there until her son or daughter eats them.

I recommend that you simply place good foods before him cheerfully.

If he chooses not to eat, then smile and send him on his way.

Sooner or later, he'll get hungry enough to eat. Don't permit snacking or substituting sweets for nutritious foods, and don't fear the physical effects of hunger.

Just wait for that wonderful physiological process called hunger to take over, and then you'll turn mealtime madness into peace and tranquility.

From TODAY, Voices – Wednesday, 16-Sep-2009

Try making a game out of it

Image via Wikipedia

By Dr James Dobson

When you try to teach your young child to be responsible and you just don't get anywhere, what can you do?

Well, many times turning a teaching situation into a game is the best way to get results.

Sometimes, kids have a hard time learning and remembering the things their parents tell them.

It's not that they're trying to be rebellious — they simply forget to hang up the towel or to come to dinner on time. In cases like this, you might try making a game out of it.

Kids love all sorts of contests and games, especially if adults will play along with them.

If you're struggling to teach your kids a lesson in responsibility and you're not getting anywhere, try turning it into a game, and see how little fun can make a child eager to learn.

From TODAY, Voices – Tuesday, 15-Sep-2009

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Flattery

By Dr James Dobson

Flattery will get you nowhere, we're told. That's not necessarily true in most areas of life, but it's surprisingly accurate when you're dealing with children.

When it comes to children, flattery or inflationary praise is unnecessary, and it'll get you nowhere. When Junior is told over and over that his every move is wonderful, he quickly catches onto your verbal game, and your words lose their meaning. Therefore it's important to distinguish between the concepts of flattery vs. praise.

Flattery is unearned. Flattery occurs when you heap compliments on the child for something general that he or she did not achieve. Praise, on the other hand, is used to reinforce positive, constructive behaviour. It should be highly specific, rather than general.

An honest praise from mothers and fathers is more likely to result in high self-esteem in their children. As parents, we need to be on the lookout for opportunities to offer genuine, well-deserved praise to our children, while avoiding the emptiness of flattery.

From TODAY, Voices – Monday, 14-Sep-2009