Friday, July 10, 2009

Your Child’s Learning Style

Typical elementary school classroom.Image via Wikipedia

By Dr James Dobson

Do you know your child's learning style? It's easy to determine, and knowing that can help you communicate better. Cheri Fuller defines three learning styles.

Many children are visual learners. That is they learn mostly by looking and seeing. And they have an easy time visualising things. Other children are auditory learners. They learn best by hearing information and verbalising it.

The third type and perhaps the least understood, is the kinesthetic learner. Kinesthetic learners need to touch and feel and handle things. However, this type is most at risk in school because the classroom experience is usually targeted for visual and auditory learners.

Sitting at a desk all day is a stressful experience for kinesthetic learners and their restlessness is often diagnosed as a behavioral problem.

Watch your child for a week or so. Know your child's learning type and use that as a channel to communicate what you want to teach him.

From TODAY, Voices – Friday, 10-Jul-2009

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Thursday, July 09, 2009

Fatigue and Emotion

Arctic BE1200A+, a budget model with 6 kg load...Image via Wikipedia

By Dr James Dobson

It's amazing how many problems in our lives can be eliminated by this simple prescription: Get some rest! The late, great football coach, Vince Lombardi, once said: "Fatigue makes cowards of us all." How right he was.

Physical depletion renders us less able to cope with the noisiness of children; with a broken washing machine, and with the other minor irritations of everyday living. Perhaps this explains why men and women who are overworked often become cowardly, whining, griping and biting to those they love. I think many today need to make rest a priority. Each of us requires a certain number of hours of sleep, and we should make certain we get it.

We should turn down invitations to serve on yet another committee, or late dinner dates, or even promotions, if we know our reserves are already depleted. We might even carve out an entire day, setting it aside for recreation in the best sense of the word: A walk in the park or a long talk with friends. Fatigue isn't easily conquered, but a few tough decisions like these will help us lead more sane and healthy lives.

From TODAY, Voices – Thursday, 09-Jul-2009

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Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Sensitivity is the Key

...and feel the warmth!Image by carf via Flickr

By Dr James Dobson

If there's one lesson parents need to learn most urgently, it's to guard what they say in the presence of their children.

Many times following speaking engagements, I've been approached by a mother about a problem her child was having. As mum was speaking, I noticed the subject of the conversation standing just behind, his little ears stretched as he listened to a candid description of his faults. I visibly flinch when a parent unintentionally disassembles a child's esteem this way.

It's not just insensitive parents who do this. I once referred a bright nine-year-old boy to a neurologist because of severe learning problems. After giving the boy an examination, the doctor called in his parents, and discussed the details of the boy's brain damage in front of his little patient. It was as if he could not hear those words, or comprehend the insult they carried.

Sensitivity is the key. It means tuning into the thoughts and feelings of our kids, listening to the cues they give us, and reacting appropriately to what we detect. It's a wise adult who understands that self-esteem is the most fragile characteristic in human nature, and once broken, its reconstruction is more difficult than repairing Humpty-Dumpty.

From TODAY, Voices – Wednesday, 08-Jul-2009

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Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Knowing When To Step In

A child runningImage via Wikipedia

By Dr James Dobson

One of the most difficult choices parents must face is deciding when to let children suffer the consequences of their actions and when they need rescuing.

The road to success is fraught with failures. Every winner has at one time felt the pain of defeat. Our children must go through hard times for them to grow. Yet, it is tough to stand back and watch them struggle. Our love for them makes us vulnerable to their needs.

Life brings pain and sorrow to little people.

And we hurt when they hurt. When others ridicule them, when they feel lonely, when they fail at something important, when they cry, when physical harm threatens them. These are the trials that seem unbearable to those of us who stand and watch from the sidelines. We want to protect them from life's sting, to hold them within our embrace.

Yet, there are times when we must let them struggle. Children can't grow without taking risks. Toddlers can't walk without falling down. Students can't learn without facing failure and adolescents can't enter adulthood unless we release them from our protective custody. It takes a wise parent to know when to intervene and when to let them profit from their stresses.

From TODAY, Voices – Tuesday, 07-Jul-2009

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Monday, July 06, 2009

The Test of Time

Fireworks over Miami, Florida, USA on American...Image via Wikipedia

By Dr James Dobson

If you want to know whether or not you're really in love, give it the test of time. Infatuation is the name we give to that first bright burst of attraction between two people. It sets our pulses racing and makes us think of clouds and fireworks, as well as stories that end in "happily ever after".

There's no doubt infatuation looks and feels very much like love; the only problem is, it doesn't last. It's a quick, emotional high, with no commitment behind it. And when it runs its course, we find ourselves back where we started, with little or nothing to show for the experience. How then can we distinguish real love from temporary attraction? If the feeling is unreliable, how can we measure the commitment of the will? There's only one answer: It takes time. The best advice I can offer a couple contemplating marriage, or any other important issue, is make no important life-shaping decisions quickly or impulsively.

Measure your motivation carefully, and when in doubt, stall for time. Give your emotions a chance to evolve and oscillate. If your love is real, it can handle the wait, and your relationship will be stronger for the seasoning of an unhurried foundation.

From TODAY, Voices – Monday, 06-Jul-2009

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Sunday, July 05, 2009

Parental Trust

By Dr Bill Maier

FocusOnTheFamily_LogoSmall All teenagers want to be trusted by their parents. But trust is something you earn, not demand.

A counsellor once asked a group of teenagers: “How many of you consider yourselves to be honest with your parents?” Not one hand went up.

When she asked why, one student answered: “I don’t actually lie; I just don’t tell them all the facts.”

Sadly, a lot of teenagers have the same attitude. And they then complain when their parents do not trust them. But trust is a precious gift, and you have to work to gain it.

You begin by developing a habit of telling the truth, no matter how painful it may be, even if you have to suffer consequences. And when you give your word, always follow through.

When your plans change, call home to let your family know. And take care of things you borrow.

It’s the little things each day that build trust between children and their parents. Once developed, trust seldom diminishes.

From TODAY, Voices – Friday, 03-Jul-2009

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