Friday, July 18, 2008

FUN ON A BUDGET

From FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
TODAY Friday July 18, 2008

By Dr Bill Maier

You don’t have to break the bank to design a great holiday.

Just getting away together as a family is all it takes to create great memories.

Start by brainstorming with your kids. Sit down with a map of Singapore and talk about all the places you’ve wanted to go.

There are lots of places on this island I bet you haven’t been to!

How about a ride to St John’s island? Or biking for a day on Palau Ubin? Have you ever been out to the wetland reserve?

You could even narrow it down to three options and then have a family vote.

Don’t let the lack of funds get in the way of your summer holiday. Just plan wisely, and then have a blast.

STAYING FIT ON THE GO

From FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
TODAY Thursday 26 July 17, 2008

By Dr Bill Maier

Am I the only one whose life feels like a three-ring-circus?

Between work and family and all the other things going on, I can hardly keep my head above water, much less find time to exercise.

And chances are, you’re feeling the same.

Here are a few tips for keeping your body fit on the go: Try walking every chance you get.

You don’t need an hour to walk around the block to get your blood pumping – just look for ways to work it into your day.

Take the stairs instead of the lift or escalator, or pace in your office while talking on the phone. Little steps add up quickly.

Use break times wisely. Instead of sitting in the lounge with a cup of coffee, walk around the building a few times.

Or, you could find a quiet place to stretch your muscles, or even do a few sit-ups – do whatever it takes to keep your bones and body moving.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

WHAT THAT VOW MEANS

From FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
TODAY Wednesday July 16, 2008

By Dr James Dobson

Remember when you promised to stay together no matter what during your wedding vows?

Couples don’t promise to stay together because they think things will never change.

They promise because they know things will change. And unless their commitment to the marriage is solid, those changes will likely come between them.

Life is made up of a series of surprises and alterations. Nothing stays the same for very long.

Jobs change, people get older, children grow up, parents die, friends leave and other friends take their place. Few people go through more than a few years without feeling drastic changes in the way their lives operate.

Unless couples go into a marriage understanding that fact, they’re likely to struggle with each new change.

That’s what a wedding vow is all about – it’s a promise to commit, no matter what.

So, unless you plan to keep that promise, think twice before heading to the altar.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

What to look out for while shopping for maternity footwear

According to Ms Jessie Phua, a senior podiatrist at Changi General Hospital, good footwear should have:

 

• Stability and should not twist or

roll easily;

 

• An inner sole made of material that

can provide adequate cushioning

for shock absorbency; and

 

• A good fit that nearly conforms to

the shape of your foot.

Pregnant? Avoid flip-flops

From Health

TODAY Tuesday July 15, 2008

 

On MATERNITY FOOTWEAR

Experts say flat shoes do not provide the stability and support expectant mums need

 

EVELINE GAN

eveline@mediacorp.com.sg

 

LIKE most sensible mums-to-be, I dutifully banished all my vertiginous shoes to a dusty corner of the shoe cabinet when I found out I was pregnant last year.

 

Believing that lower and flatter footwear would be safer with the extra load I was lugging around, flat strappy sandals and flip-flops became my staple footwear.

 

But I was mistaken about that. While traipsing around in flatties, I had slipped and fallen twice during my second and last trimester.

 

Contrary to what most people think, experts say that flat shoes, like high heels, are not suitable for expecting mothers.

 

Ms Jessie Phua, a senior podiatrist at Changi General Hospital, calls ultra-low footwear such as flat pumps and flip-flops “bad footwear”, which are “not meant for daily use”.

 

Similar to high heels, they are unable to provide the stability and support needed especially during pregnancy when the woman’s “back takes on a fair amount of added load and stress”.

 

And if you do slip, there’s a good chance you won’t be able to catch your fall, warned Dr Ang Huai Yan, an obstetrician and gynaecologist in private practice.

 

“With slippers, there’s nothing to hold onto the base of the foot. Also, a lot of ladies’ sandals are made of smooth bases which can be very slippery,” she said.

 

Wearing appropriate footwear is important for expecting mothers because of the various physical changes that occur during pregnancy.

 

“Proper footwear is important not only for the back but also for the knees and feet. A shuffling gait will occur if the footwear is too loose or not holding the foot properly. This form of unstable walking increases the risk of falls,” explained Ms Phua.

 

According to Dr Ang, swelling around the feet and legs is common during pregnancy, causing your shoe size to increase between one and two sizes.

 

“Especially during the third trimester, the growing foetus presses down on the pelvic veins and vena cava. This partially impedes the return of blood from your legs and causes the swelling,” she said. The vena cava is the large vein on the right side of the body. It transports blood from your lower body back to the heart.

 

A pregnant woman’s centre of gravity also tends to move forward, causing added pressure to the knees, feet and back.

 

Explaining why wearing inappropriate footwear can increase the strain in these areas, Ms Phua said: “There is a tendency for the foot to slide forward in heels, open toed slides or sling back footwear. More muscle energy is expended when the toes claw in a subconscious attempt to grip and maintain ground stability, thus increasing the strain on the back and knees.”

 

Ideally, Ms Phua said that pregnant women should wear footwear that is “broad and comfortable”.

 

“Ideal footwear should have ankle straps such as Velcro fasteners or laces, have a broad base at the heel and forefoot and extra depth if there is swelling,” she said.

 

Dr Ang also advised against buying closed toe shoes for mums with swollen feet. New footwear should also be bought to keep up with your feet’s changing sizes.

 

But with all the limitations, does this mean that expecting mothers are stuck with frumpy shoes throughout their pregnancy?

 

Not necessarily, said Ms Phua.

 

“There is inevitably some degree of compromise on fashion but one can still get decent-looking footwear during pregnancy,” she said.

 

For instance, while flat ballet pumps may not be suitable for pregnant women, you could substitute it with Mary Janes with a deeper heel counter to “hold the foot down, thus providing better support and stability”. Or if the occasion calls for it, you can still wear heels but they should not exceed 1.5 inches and should ideally be sturdy. However, Ms Phua advised against wearing heels for too long.

 

“Some women have it easy, while some go through a lot of complications during their pregnancy. At the end of the day, most expectant mums would prefer comfort over fashion, especially during the last trimester,” she said.

 

So, even though this season’s “in” footwear — flat gladiator sandals and slingbacks — may look too tempting to resist, it’s probably best to just wait out your pregnancy with less glamorous, but safer, shoes.

 

Proper footwear for expectant mums is important for the back, knees and feet. AFP

Art Forms...

From Plus Arts

TODAY Tuesday July 15, 2008

 

The curvy form is the Cornucopia, by Frank Stella in the lobby of the Ritz-Carlton Singapore. The other one is Check out Progress and Advancement, by Yang Ying Feng, just outside Raffles Place MRT.

 

TREVOR TAN

HEALTHY VIEW OF SPOR TS

From FOCUS ON THE FAMILY

TODAY Tuesday July 15, 2008

 

By Dr Bill Maier

 

Most kids love sports. But not all of them are meant to be athletes. Organised sports are a great way to expend physical energy and develop skills like teamwork and coordination.

 

Healthy competition teaches kids how to win and lose gracefully. Sports also help kids make friends, and helps build self-esteem.

 

But sports need to be kept in perspective. Not all kids are wired to be competitive and sometimes parents or coaches focus too much on winning. Kids feel pressured to perform beyond their abilities and when they can’t, their self-image takes a plunge.

 

Encourage your child to play sports, but let them choose what they want to play. Praise them whether they win or not. And, make sure that their coach is a good role model.

JUST DO IT!

From FOCUS ON THE FAMILY

TODAY Monday July 14, 2008

 

By Dr Bill Maier

 

If you have planned to quit procrastinating, just have not got around to it yet, here are some tips you might want to consider.

 

Procrastination is a mental barrier that needs to be mastered before we can really put our lives in order.

 

And overcoming it is done through a series of simple but tough steps.

 

Stop making excuses. If your bills are constantly late, it’s not the fault of the bill collectors, it’s because you choose to put off paying them.

 

Schedule a time each month to sit down and deal with them — and put it on your calendar.

 

Learn to delegate. Often procrastinators are people who take on too many tasks, and then nothing seems to get done.

 

If your laundry is piled to the ceiling, assign the task to one of your children. Always finish what you start.

 

It takes a conscious decision to push through a task until it’s finished, but the satisfaction you feel later is well worth the effort.

Why you should eat your broccoli

From My Lifestyle – Moments

MY PAPER MONDAY JULY 14, 2008

 

LONDON: Just a few more portions of broccoli each week may protect men from prostate cancer, British researchers reported.

 

The researchers believe a chemical in the food sparks hundreds of genetic changes, activating some genes that fight cancer and switching off others that fuel tumours, said Professor Richard Mithen, a biologist at Britain’s Institute of Food Research.

 

In the research, he and his colleagues split 24 men, with pre-cancerous lesions that increase prostate cancer risk, into two groups and had them eat four extra servings of either broccoli or peas each week for a year.

 

The researchers also took tissue samples over the course of the study and found that the men who ate broccoli showed hundreds of changes in genes known to play a role in fighting cancer.

 

The benefits of eating broccoli would likely be the same as in eating other cruciferous vegetables that contain a compound called isothiocyanate. But broccoli has a particularly powerful type of the compound called sulforaphane, which the researchers think gives the vegetable an extra cancer-fighting kick.

 

“Other fruits and vegetables have been shown “to also reduce the risk of prostate cancer,” said Prof Mithen.

 

“Once we understand these, we can provide much better dietary advice on which specific combinations of fruits and vegetables are likely to be particularly beneficial. Until then, eating two or three portions of cruciferous vegetable per week... should be encouraged.”

 

Prostate cancer is the second-leading killer of men after lung cancer.

 

– REUTERS

Monday, July 14, 2008

SURROGATE PARENTS: A wake-up call we should seriously heed

From Voices, I Say

Thursday July 10 2008 TODAY

 

Disobedience, defiance to parents will also lead to problems at school

 

Letter from Ho Kong Loon

 

I REFER to “So much for parenthood” (July 9), about parents who foist their parental responsibilities onto the domestic help.

 

If not rationally, quickly and sensibly handled, a hydra-headed social menace would inevitably emerge, with dire consequences for kids, parents and society at large.

 

The emotional, psychological, physical and social needs of children in their formative years really make it mandatory that parents rightfully assume their leadership and role-modelling captainship, or retake it if it has been unwittingly farmed out.

 

Regardless of how busy they are, parents owe it to their children to ensure that their vital role in passing on good values and inculcating desirable character traits is not compromised.

 

Surrogate parenting, left to the discretion of domestic helpers, is at best a poor substitute for parental closeness, warmth and love, instinctively and generously given.

 

Under the most favourable circumstances, a helper might do a competent job of bringing up the kids under her charge. This closeness and affinity is at best temporary: Some kids suffer severe trauma when “Auntie” has to leave at the end of her work contract.

 

There is also the risk of helpers using the kids’ emotional dependence on them to their employers’ disadvantage. A very crucial element impacting the overall development of children brought up by their helpers relates to discipline.

 

Kids have an innate ability to use the emotional attachment to their surrogate parents as leverage against their parents. The hapless and helpless parents often give in to their kids’ demands and consequently, mollycoddling them becomes routine.

 

This all-consuming feeling of impotence to act decisively and firmly to arrest incipient disobedience, rudeness and defiance, degenerates into gift buying, generous pocket money and so on.

 

Extrapolating from this feeling of helplessness, parents make excuses for the kids’ slipshod schoolwork, poor work and social attitude, misbehaviour, and the list grows with the passage of time.

 

Schoolteachers find it increasingly difficult and exhausting to teach kids who have behaviour difficulties because they have been left in the care of helpers almost exclusively. The decline in pupil discipline is multi-dimensional, and surrogate parenting contributes substantially to this malady.

 

This is a wake-up call all parents must seriously take heed of.

So much for parenthood

From Voices, I Say

Wednesday July 9 2008 TODAY

 

Domestic helpers should not be substitute parents

 

Subana Hall

 

TWO children are playing. One falls and the other shouts: “Mei Mei has fallen down!” A woman runs towards the little girl, looking worried. She pacifies the crying child. What a loving mum, I think.

 

But I am wrong. She is the helper. The mother is sitting on a bench, reading a magazine.

 

It is common to see helpers pushing buggies and carrying bags in shopping malls while their employers walk about empty-handed, executing instructions. I have seen helpers playing the role of parents, carrying and feeding babies — in the presence of the actual parents.

 

Over the weekend, I saw a couple with two young children and it was quite apparent that it was their petite-sized domestic helper’s responsibility to ensure that the kids were attended to as she was constantly ensuring that they had their drinks and did not get lost in the crowd. The helper, of course, was also carrying the children’s bags while the parents — empty handed — leisurely window shopped.

 

Where I live, I have seen helpers play with the children in the pool while the employers enjoy their weekend barbecue. When the children approach their parents with a request, the parents ask their helpers to attend to them.

 

But shouldn’t parents be using weekends as an opportunity to spend quality time with their children?

 

Whatever happened to the good old practice of including your children in family events and communicating with them?

 

I recently saw two girls at a swimming school, waiting to register at the school’s office. The girls looked between 10 and 12 years of age and seemed completely at ease with the helper carrying their bulky swim bags.

 

I overheard the clerk telling the girls: “When you get home, can you give this form to your mummy and ask her to sign it and bring it in next week?”

 

The girls took the form and instinctively handed it over to the helper and told her to remember to give it to their mum.

 

Are families becoming too dependent on helpers that they are in danger of crumbling in the latter’s absence? Will these families struggle to cope without a helper should their financial situation change?

 

Are some parents making a rod for their own back by allowing the younger generation to become overly reliant on domestic helpers for even the simplest of needs such as packing and carrying their own bags?

 

Are employers becoming confused over the role of a helper with that of a substitute mum and dad?

 

Or are some grown-ups losing touch with the reality of being a family and avoiding facing up to the responsibilities of being a parent?

 

Perhaps I am old fashioned, but as a parent I take pride in attending to all of my children’s needs whenever I am with them. My children are my responsibility alone and I make the time to take them to parties and extra curricular activities. My husband and I pride ourselves in teaching them to take responsibility for their own things and to be independent.

 

We also stress to our children that a helper, unlike a washing machine or a dishwasher, is a human being with feelings and should therefore be treated with some humanity. I think, more importantly, my husband and I want our children to feel confident that a family can function without a helper, just in case they decide to migrate to a country where domestic help may not be readily available.

 

Of course, all parents deserve help with domestic chores and babysitting when they are at work or are having an evening out.

 

As a full-time professional and mother, I appreciate and understand the demands and pressures of juggling work and family. Therefore, I wholeheartedly welcome domestic assistance that would ease some pressure on the parents and allow them to spend more time with their children. I also accept that helpers sometimes have to take on a supervising role in the absence of their employers. However, it is important to avoid complacency from setting in and letting helpers take over the parental role.

 

The situations I cited may be isolated, but I have seen far too many to think that they are just exceptions. In fairness, I am sure there are employers who treat their helpers appropriately and with dignity.

 

But to all those who rely on their helper as a substitute parent, it may be a good time to take stock, as your behaviour may inevitably have a negative impact on your children’s attitude and bonding towards you.

 

The writer, a Singaporean, teaches in an international school. She has just returned after 10 years in the United Kingdom.

One good mother is worth a hundred schoolmasters

From My Say

MY PAPER MONDAY JULY 14, 2008

 

I BEG to differ with the view that we should start teaching the young about good manners in school, as expressed in the letter “Graciousness should be norm” (my paper, July 11).

 

At best, teachers can only help parents to reinforce what has been taught by them to a child about the virtue of practicing good manners.

 

It is the duty of parents to teach their children good manners. They should own this responsibility and not leave it to the teachers.

 

Here is an example to illustrate my point.

 

I was travelling on an MRT train some months ago and saw a young mother together with her toddler boarding the train at Clementi MRT Station.

 

They were both standing and she was having difficulty managing her son, but none of the passengers seated nearby seemed to be bothered about her predicament.

 

Later, a man in his 50s offered his seat to the young mother and her child. She thanked him for the seat and even got her child to say “Thank you, uncle” in Mandarin.

 

Her child was seated on her lap and, before they alighted at Tanjong Pagar MRT Station, she again asked her child to bid the Good Samaritan farewell with: “Uncle, thank you for your kindness. Bye bye.”

 

I was impressed by this young mother’s exemplary way of imparting good manners to her son.

 

It reminds me of what the late William Barclay, professor of divinity at Glasgow University, once said: “A good mother is worth a hundred schoolmasters.”

 

Mr Nelson Quah

Dentists still using fillings with toxic mercury

From My News – Home

MY PAPER FRIDAY JULY 11, 2008

 

DARYLL NANAYAKARA

 

THE United States Food and Drug Administration (FDA) issued a warning late last month against the use of amalgam dental fillings that contain mercury.

 

But five local dentists my paper spoke to said they would still carry on using the fillings unless patients request for an alternative.

 

Early last month, the FDA warned that the use of the amalgam fillings poses a potential health hazard, due to the mercury contained within the fillings.

 

According to a report in The Independent that was published late last month, the FDA is “reviewing its rules and may end up restricting or banning the use of the metal”.

 

The warning from the organisation follows years of lobbying from activists, the article said. They argue that the use of the metal in dental procedures can result in health conditions such as heart ailments and Alzheimer’s disease.

 

Mercury, which by itself is a highly poisonous metal, makes up almost half of an amalgam filling, which also contains silver and small amounts of copper and tin. When introduced into the body via such amalgams, mercury can have neurotoxic effects on growing children and foetuses.

 

The use of such amalgam fillings has been going on for about 150 years and countries such as Denmark, Sweden and Norway have already banned the use of the fillings.

 

But dentists my paper spoke to say that the use of the amalgam dental fillings is still common among local clinics and hospitals.

 

Dr Wan L.T., 54, a dentist in private practice, explained: “Most patients here don’t mind having their teeth filled with the amalgam fillings.

 

“Patients want it because it is cheaper compared to other alternatives such as porcelain or composites.”

 

On the average, 70 per cent of his patients who require fillings end up opting for the amalgam fillings.

 

Amalgam fillings can cost up to 25 per cent less than alternatives such as composites and porcelain.

 

However, Dr Jerry Lim, 37, has made his practice mercury-free – he stopped using the amalgam fillings in 2004.

 

Dr Lim explained: “I am just staying on the safe side.”

 

darylldj@sph.com.sg

 

No one has the right to mistreat maids

ON ABUSE OF DOMESTIC HELP

 

From My News – Home

MY PAPER THURSDAY JULY 10, 2008

 

DARYLL NANAYAKARA

 

OVER lunch a couple of days back, a group of friends and I were engaged in a conversation about maid abuse.

 

The topic came about after we had read several reports in local newspapers of how some employers had abused their maids.

 

One of them started recounting how she had heard of a particular abuse case.

 

It involved the maid being given one slice of bread per meal and being made to stand and face the wall each time she had allegedly made a mistake.

 

The maid was eventually found dead at the foot of a block in a tragic end to her apparent escape bid. She had attempted to climb down three storeys from her employer’s HDB unit in Woodlands with the aid of five towels that were strung together.

 

The 33-year-old maid had probably come here in search of a brighter future, as with many other domestic helpers.

 

Many of them make the sacrifice of leaving their families behind to earn money in foreign lands, just so that their families back home can have a better life.

 

For some maids, their journey overseas goes without a hitch. They get sent to work with great families who treat them well.

 

But for others, that same journey ends with them being overworked, subjected to humiliating treatment and, in extreme cases, in death.

 

It is a sad reality that the abuse of another human being exists even in a developed country like Singapore.

 

Our domestic helpers deserve to work free from abuse in a safe environment, simply because it is basic courtesy to treat another human being well.

 

According to a recent report in The Sunday Times, the Indonesian embassy here receives almost 70 calls a day from domestic helpers in need of help. An organization that runs shelters for abused maids sees about 100 new cases of abuse each month.

 

The numbers are telling and reflect a sad state of affairs between some employers and their domestic helpers.

 

I’m also sure there are many more instances of abuse that go unreported. Perhaps some maids choose to suffer in silence. What goes on behind closed doors, we will never really know.

 

A flip through a week’s worth of papers revealed two stories on the topic – in one, a maid is accusing her employer of scalding her with hot water, while in the other, a woman has been charged for setting her shih-tzu on her maid, which bit the maid’s thigh and finger.

 

It is beyond my imagination how anyone can bring themselves to inflict such pain and trauma upon someone else.

 

Domestic helpers are after all human beings, just like you and me. They may be here to work, but we must realise that they also have feelings.

 

Every slap on the face and every burn on the back would cause the same amount of pain to a domestic helper as to any other human being.

 

Employers must realise that hiring a maid does not come along with a licence to abuse them physically or verbally.

 

I understand that domestic helpers sometimes make mistakes – maybe the floor wasn’t mopped thoroughly or the clothes were not properly ironed.

 

But no matter how bad the mistake or how frustrated the employer is, no one has the right to mistreat or assault their maid.

 

Every instance of abuse is a dent on our image of a gracious society.

 

More importantly, every abused maid tells a tale of a complete disregard for human dignity.

 

myp@sph.com.sg