Thursday, July 02, 2009

Talk As You Walk

A tone mapped HDR image of a picnic setup on t...Image via Wikipedia

By Dr Bill Maier

FocusOnTheFamily_LogoSmall You’ve heard that a brisk walk around the block is good for your heart, but did you know it can also be good for your marriage?

Communication is critical to any relationship, and too many couples are so busy that they never take time to just talk and share their feelings with each other.

When we’re home, it’s too easy to just sit in front of the TV.

Try setting aside a couple of evenings each week to get out of the house and do things together.

You can go for a short walk down the street, or have a picnic at MacRitchie Reservoir, or even saunter along the beach at East Coast Parkway.

Whatever you do, make sure you do it together, and use the time to talk. It’s amazing how a relaxing family outing can open up lines of communication.

And that’s something every marriage needs.

From TODAY, Voices – Thursday, 02-Jul-2009

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Wednesday, July 01, 2009

How Not To Discipline

The Fury of Athamas by John Flaxman (1755-1826).Image via Wikipedia

By Dr Bill Maier

The most common error parents make when disciplining their kids is disciplining out of anger.

Imagine a police officer who tried to keep people from speeding by simply getting angry at them.

He could stand on the street corner and yell as they passed by, trying to convince them to slow down.

He could even jump up and down and turn blue in the face with anger, but would anyone really listen?

We pay attention to him because he has the authority to pass out tickets.

That's how parenting is. If you want to change a child's behaviour, you do it through clear consequences, not through anger.

You calmly explain the offence, and then enforce the punishment.

It's the only effective method of raising disciplined kids.

From TODAY, Voices – Wednesday, 01-Jul-2009

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Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Screen Before You Go

By Dr Bill Maier

FocusOnTheFamily_LogoSmallHave you taken your kids to a PG movie only to be shocked and embarrassed?

Parents have learned that you can't really rely on those film ratings. I've seen M-18 movies that border on obscene, and PG movies with horrible language and indecency.

And even some NC-16 rated movies can be too intense for little eyes.

Remember the flying monkeys in Wizard of Oz? I had nightmares about them for years!

Finding a movie to watch with your family isn't that easy. More and more you have to set your own standards and be diligent with your research.

There are some great sites on the Internet that screen movies and give details about inappropriate language and scenes.

And many of them review older videos as well as the latest ones.

A good idea is to always check a movie out before you go to the theater or rental store. And when in doubt, look for something else.

From TODAY, Voices – Tuesday, 30-Jun-2009

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Monday, June 29, 2009

When Kids Act Out

By Dr Bill Maier

FocusOnTheFamily_LogoSmall Would you be able to tell if your child was struggling with depression or other dangerous emotions?

One mother emailed me about her daughter’s unusual behavior.

Her husband had taken a job out of town, and wasn’t spending as much time with the family, causing their eleven year old daughter to begin acting out.

The girl was threatening to run away, even to kill herself!

Obviously, this girl was struggling with her father’s absence, but there were other issues at work as well.

It’s never normal for an eleven year old to threaten suicide, even in a fit of anger.

I encouraged the mother to get professional help – and get it fast!

Kids aren’t equipped to deal with difficult life issues the way that adults are, and it’s our job to watch for signs of emotional problems.

If your child shows signs of out-of-control anger or depression, don’t take it lightly.

From TODAY, Voices – Monday, 29-Jun-2009

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