How dads shape kids

`By Dr James Dobson

Someone once said: “If you connect a boy to the right man, he seldom goes wrong.” I fully believe that adage to be true. If a dad and a child can develop some common interests together, the rebellious years shouldn’t be all that troubling.

I had that kind of father myself. I recalled the happiest moments of my childhood — how my Dad would get up very early on a wintry morning, pull on our hunting clothes and head 30 km out of town to our favourite place. We’d park the car, climb over the fence and follow a little creek to an area I called “the big woods”. Then we’d wait for the sun to come up, listening to the squirrels, birds and the chipmunks, and let the entire panorama of nature unfold before us.

Those moments together with my Dad were priceless to me. How could I have gotten angry at this man who took the time to be with me? There was a closeness that made me want to be like him; to choose his values and dreams as mine. That’s the power of a man to set a kid on the right road.


From TODAY, Voices - Wednesday, 28-April-2010
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Pressures on mums of preschoolers

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By Dr James Dobson

When there are children in the house, a wife needs her husband’s understanding more than ever.

No one works harder than a mother who has multiple preschool children. Not only does she have many responsibilities, she experiences an unusual kind of emotional stress as well.

Youngsters between two and five years of age have an uncanny ability to unravel an adult’s nervous system, with their constant talk and their endless questions.

Furthermore, they’re a perpetual danger to themselves and others throughout the day. Even if mum begins her morning with guarded optimism, by 4pm, the pressures often reduce her to a lump of play dough.

Is there anything the husband can do to make things easier? Well, I suggest he starts with a little understanding.

It’s a well-known fact that human beings tolerate stress much more easily if at least one other person know they’re enduring it. This is highly relevant to young mothers.

The frustrations of the day are much more manageable if husbands take time to comprehend them.

Even when a man can’t change the situation, his respect for his wife and his awareness of her difficulties make it easier for her to handle them again day after day.


From TODAY, Voices - Tuesday, 27-April-2010
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Teenage Attitude

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By Dr James Dobson

How does a happy, cooperative 12-year-old boy or girl suddenly turn into a sullen, depressed 13-year-old?

There are two powerful forces that overtake our children in the early pubescent years, and account for some of the strange behaviour that drives parents crazy.

The first is social in nature, with incredible pressures being inflicted on adolescents by the peer group. But the second, which I think is more important, is hormonal in nature. We can see the effect of these hormones on the physical body, of course, but something equally dynamic is occurring in the brain.

Human chemistry apparently goes haywire for a few years, affecting mind as well as body. This internal upheaval will motivate a boy or girl to do things that make absolutely no sense to the adults watching anxiously on the sidelines.

There’s a tendency for parents to despair during this period of transition. Everything they’ve tried to teach their sons and daughters seems to have misfired for a couple of years. Self-discipline, cleanliness, respect for authority, the work ethic, even common courtesy may look like lost causes.

But there is good news. Better days are coming — I promise. That’s why, perhaps the best advice I can offer is: Don’t look too quickly for the person your child will become.

From TODAY, Voices - Monday, 26-April-2010
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