Thursday, February 26, 2009

When Kids Fib

FOCUS ON THE FAMILY

 

From TODAY, Voices

Tuesday, 24-February-2009

 

By Dr Bill Maier

 

It may be cute when a three year old tells tales, but if we’re not careful those little fantasies can grow into full-fledged lies as they get older.

 

Kids between the ages of three and five can’t always distinguish fantasy from reality.

 

And they often get a lot of attention when they make up little stories.

 

They don’t really understand that they’re lying; they just think it’s fun.

 

When they get older, though, these tall tales aren’t quite as harmless.

 

Sometimes kids tell stories as a way to get other kids to like them or to keep from getting into trouble.

 

It worked when they were little, so why shouldn’t it work now when they’re older?

 

It’s important to talk to our kids and make sure they understand the difference between the truth and a lie.

 

If they’re old enough to know better, parents need to impose consequences for lying.

 

Because there’s nothing cute about a kid who fibs.

 

Chart Your Marriage Course

FOCUS ON THE FAMILY

 

From TODAY, Voices

Monday, 23-February-2009

 

By Dr Bill Maier

 

Do you have a plan for your marriage? Too many couples idle through life without ever thinking about what they want out of their relationship and how to get there. But setting goals is important in every area of life – and what’s more important than your marriage?

 

My good friends, Drs Les and Leslie Parrot, encourage couples to “chart a course” for their marriage and here are just a few of the ideas they recommend.

 

Sit down each year and discuss your goals for the year to come. Write out what kind of relationship you want to have as a couple. List those things about yourself and your marriage that you want to change, and how you plan to change them.

 

Use this as your “marriage mission” statement for the coming year, and post it in a visible place. What better way to keep your marriage focused and on track?

 

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

GOING DOWN FOR THE THIRD TIME

FOCUS ON THE FAMILY

 

From TODAY, Voices

Friday, 20-February-2009

 

By Dr James Dobson

 

When my wife Shirley and I got married, we took a trip to a local resort. She quickly jumped into the pool before I could get there. There were sunbathers everywhere, and a lifeguard stood watch.

 

Shirley isn’t a strong swimmer. By the time she reached the deep end of the pool she was exhausted. She was seized with panic. “I’m going to drown,” she thought.

 

Now all she had to do was scream for help and the lifeguard and 16 swimmers would have been at her side. But to do so would have been greatly embarrassing.

 

Shirley decided she would rather drown than humiliate herself publicly. Fortunately, she managed to splash her way to the edge which she clung onto gasping for air.

 

You know, I’ve thought about that story many times, especially when I’ve seen panic-stricken people who are unwilling to call for help. Some were alcoholics who denied they had a problem. Some were teenage drug addicts who couldn’t admit they were hooked. And some even committed suicide rather than reaching for the help that was readily available.

 

If you’re drowning in the middle of a deep pool, call a lifeguard to give you a hand. Don’t let your pride take you to the bottom.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

DIFFERING EXPECTATIONS

FOCUS ON THE FAMILY

 

From TODAY, Voices

Thursday, 19-February-2009

 

By Dr James Dobson

 

Children are extremely sensitive to issues of fairness at home, but is it really a worthwhile goal to give your boys and girls identical experiences in the name of fairness?

 

Family psychologist and author Dr Kevin Leman tells of a time a mother asked him about setting up different bedtimes and allowances. “Won’t the younger boy feel it’s not fair? They’re only two years apart!”

 

Dr Leman responded: “Why don’t you wait until the boys are 14 and 16. The 16-year-old will have a driver’s licence. You can suggest that your 14-year-old beat his fist on the counter at the traffic police department and demand one too!” The mother considered this response silly. And it is because life is not fair.

 

We can’t all be treated the same everywhere and every time. In the real world, our children will run into all kinds of inequities. We, as parents, need to prepare our children to face the future. Establishing reasonable but different treatment for each child based on age, ability and personality, starts the process. Anything parents can do to prepare their children for the real world will pay off in the future, and often in the present as well.

 

BALANCE IN A MAN'S LIFE

FOCUS ON THE FAMILY

 

From TODAY, Voices

Wednesday, 18-February-2009

 

By Dr James Dobson

 

The acrobat who walks the tightrope understands that there is one skill needed more than any other, and it is balance.

 

I remember watching the 1984 Olympics. One marathoner still stands out in my mind. She entered the coliseum dehydrated and off-balance, listing to her left and swinging her right hand. Almost unconscious, she ran the last lap and fell across the finish line into the arms of the race officials.

 

There are men and women today in the same condition – completely out of balance, just struggling to get across the finish line. During my 14 years at the USC School of Medicine, I saw a pattern in the lives of young students that demonstrated this.

 

During the first two years, the students threw every bit of energy into their work, to the exclusion of everything else. At first it seemed workable, but by the third year, their spouses began to realise that they had been replaced by the profession of medicine; and that’s when marital conflict and divorce became rife among the students.

 

It doesn’t matter how noble the reason for the imbalance, its consequences are just as destructive. We have to set a pace for ourselves that we can keep for a lifetime.