Mi Choza De Nipa: 06/20/2010

Thursday, June 24, 2010

TV commercials and kids

By Dr James Dobson

When you sit down to watch a 30-minute television programme, eight minutes go to advertising. I'll have to admit it seems like much more than that to me, but over the course of a week, we and our children are exposed to an incredible number of advertisements. I believe it's essential that we help our kids determine the merit of those messages.

Author Faith McDonald suggests we can teach our kids how to analyse the commercials they see.

This assumes you will set aside time to watch television with your children, to help them understand the differences between fact and fantasy and how to discern the truth amidst what can be a confusing mix of contradictory messages.

Start by discussing the difference between “real” and “pretend” on television. With special effects and computer-generated graphics, such differences can be blurred in a child's mind. As you watch various commercials, point out to your children what’s believable and what’s not. Ask them to do the same.

When we take time to examine television with our kids, we can help them learn to filter the good from the bad, fact from fiction.

From TODAY, Voices - Wednesday, 23-June-2010
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In praise of mothers

Image via Wikipedia

By Dr James Dobson

You don't see many mothers dress like Wonder Woman these days, but I think any mother who lovingly raises a child from infancy to adulthood deserves to be called a Superhero.

I recall a time many years ago when my wife broke her leg skiing, requiring me to play Mr Mum for two weeks. It was a lot tougher than advertised. On my first morning on the job, our headstrong three-year-old boy began teaching me the rules of the game called “motherhood”. At 6am, I was woken from a deep, dreamy sleep by his loud cry and he continued shrieking as I staggered down the hall. When I pushed open his bedroom door, the crying immediately stopped and a cheery little voice said, “Is breakfast ready?” He followed me into the kitchen, where I rummaged through the cupboards bleary-eyed, all the while being barraged with questions: “Why isn't the milk poured? Don't you even know where the eggs are?” and: “Are you sure you've ever done this before?” I ignored his questions until finally I tuned in to hear him sigh and say: “I'm getting so tired of you.” And why do I share these memories with you? Because if you're a mother raising your kids with love and devotion, you deserve a lot of credit and praise.

You may not get applause from your kids, but you deserve a standing ovation from the rest of us. Commitment, dedication, perseverance; these are the hallmarks of a hero — an unsung hero.

From TODAY, Voices - Tuesday, 22-June-2010
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Spare time

Image via Wikipedia

By Dr James Dobson

Have you had any spare time lately? I really doubt it. Our lives are jammed to the point that there’s no room for anything extra or surplus.

That reminds me of a wonderful story about Frank Lloyd Wright, the famous architect. When he was just nine years old, he went walking one winter day across a snow-covered field with his reserved no-nonsense uncle.

As the two of them reached the far end of the field, his uncle stopped him. He pointed out his own tracks in the snow. They were straight and true as an arrow’s flight. And then he pointed out young Frank’s tracks meandering here and there all across the field. “Notice how your tracks wander aimlessly from the fence to the cattle to the woods and back again,” his uncle said. “And see how my tracks aim directly to my goal. There’s an important lesson in that.”

Well, to his dying day, Frank Lloyd Wright remembered that lesson, but not the way his uncle intended. He used to say with a twinkle in his eye: “I determined right then not to miss most of the things in life, as my uncle had.”

Yes, it’s important to reach your goals, but along the way, even on the busiest of days, we must take time for spontaneity, relaxation and fun, and maybe even an unscheduled trip out to see the flowers and trees. You won’t regret it.

From TODAY, Voices - Monday, 21-June-2010
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Be there, Dad!

This is a Father's Day post, and while late, i still would want to send out the greetings to all fathers out there: Happy Father's Day. Be blessed as a father, and be a blessing today!
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By Dr James Dobson

I’m told that when I was just a child — maybe two years of age — my family lived in a one-bedroom apartment. My little bed was located beside the bed of my parents. My father said it was common during that time for him to awaken at night to a little voice whispering: “Daddy? Daddy? Daddy?”

My father would answer quietly: “What, Jimmy?” And I would say: “Hold my hand!”

And Dad would reach across the darkness and grope for my little hand, finally engulfing it in his.

He later said that the instant he had my hand firmly in his grip, my arm would become limp and my breathing deep and regular. I had immediately fallen back to sleep. You see, I only wanted to know that he was there! Until the day he died, I continued to reach for him — for his assurance, for his guidance, but mostly just to know that he was there.

Now, I stand in my dad’s place. And I want to be there for my children, not just a name on their birth certificate, but a strong, warm and loving presence in their lives.

A father occupies a place in a child’s heart that no one else can satisfy.

To all the men out there who are blessed to be called a father: I urge you to be there for all the little ones in your life who call you “Dad”.

From TODAY, Voices - Friday, 18-June-2010
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Setting boundaries with in-laws

By Dr Bill Maier

It’s nice to live within driving distance of relatives, but it can also create problems, especially when they assume you’ve got an open-door policy. In-laws are notorious for dropping by uninvited.

When you’re newlyweds, they’re usually so happy to have you close by that they forget to draw boundaries.

In these cases, it’s important to set some ground rules — respectfully, but firmly. I suggest you sit down together and start by telling them how much you love and appreciate them.

Then explain that you’re trying to establish your new life together, and privacy is an important part of that.

Tell them they’re always welcome, but you’d prefer them to call ahead of time.

Most in-laws will understand. If they don’t, there are some deeper boundary issues that need to be addressed.

And that’s a whole other subject.

From TODAY, Voices - Thursday, 17-June-2010
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When kids cry wolf

By Dr Bill Maier

“Mum, I don’t feel good. Can I stay home from school today?”

It is a phrase some parents hear far too often. Some children get sick so often that their parents don’t know when to believe them. They’ll complain of a terrible stomach ache in the morning, but be running through the house by noon. Are they crying wolf, or crying for help?

When children don’t want to go to school, there is usually a reason behind it. They could be avoiding a test they haven’t studied for, or trying to get out of doing homework.

Maybe they enjoy being pampered, or crave mum’s attention. Or they could be avoiding a school bully.

If your child has a habit of faking sickness, talk to him about what’s going on in his school. Ask him questions like: “Who do you enjoy hanging out with?” or “What’s your least favourite class?”

You may open the window to a world of pressures you knew nothing about.

From TODAY, Voices - Wednesday, 16-June-2010
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Treating nappy rush

Image via Wikipedia

By Dr Bill Maier

Nearly every baby develops nappy rash from time to time, and it’s never fun to deal with — especially for the baby.

The most common cause of nappy rash is prolonged exposure to a dirty diaper. Often parents will buy super absorbent diapers, and unintentionally go too long between changes.

Other rashes are caused by chemicals or fragrances in baby wipes, detergents, or soaps. Some babies react to one brand but not another, so there’s a lot of trial and error involved in finding out the source.

Treating a rash is often a matter of common sense. Change the nappy as soon as it gets wet or soiled.

Switching to non-fragrant alcohol-free wipes and even tries other brands for a while.

If you use cloth diapers, try using soap instead of detergent. You might also let your baby’s bottom air dry after cleaning. And ask your doctor about the best ointment or cream to use.

From TODAY, Voices - Tuesday, 15-June-2010
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Helping around the house

By Dr Bill Maier

Hey dad ... still think raising babies is a mother’s job? Well think again!

The days where mum does all the work at home while dad sits back in his recliner are long gone.

Taking care of kids is a tough job and it’s a father’s job to step in and help. Instead of plopping in your chair at the end of the day, why not roll up your sleeves and give mum a hand around the house. And don’t wait for her to ask you. Look for things that need doing — like laundry or dishes or vacuuming.

Sometimes what she needs most is a little adult conversation — especially after playing with a two-year-old all day. Why not make her a cup of tea, find a comfortable chair and ask her about her day? Trust me, she’ll love you for it!

While you’re at it, let her know how much you appreciate all the things she does for you and the kids.

From TODAY, Voices - Monday, 14-June-2010
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Two seas

By Dr James Dobson

Geography can sometimes teach us valuable lessons about human nature. There are two bodies of water within the borders of the nation of Israel, both supplied by the Jordan River. The Sea of Galilee in the north is fresh and is abundant with life. Surrounding it is lush vegetation of every kind and birds build their nests along its banks. Children are often seen playing along its shores. But not far away in the southern region of Israel is another sea that is dark and devoid of life. Very little vegetation even grows along its banks. It's called the Dead Sea for a very good reason.

What's the difference between these two bodies of water? Well, for every bit of moisture that flows into the Sea of Galilee, another flows out. The receiving and giving go on in equal measure. But the Dead Sea lies at the end of the Jordan River and every drop it gets, it keeps. It is therefore stagnant and polluted.

It seems to me that people are like these two seas in Israel. Some are generous with the blessings they've been given, and their lives are fresh and abundant and meaningful. But others are selfish and they tend to become stagnant with the passage of time. Indeed it's been said, there are two kinds of people in the world: The takers and the givers. The takers eat well, but the givers sleep well.

From TODAY, Voices - Friday, 11-June-2010
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Is motherhood boring?

By Dr James Dobson

When I hear someone comment that being a mother and homemaker is boring, I have a simple response: You're right!

The truth is, almost any occupation you can name involves long hours of tedious activity. Few of us enjoy excitement each moment of our professional lives.

I once stayed in a hotel room right next to the room of a famous cellist who was performing in a concert that evening. I could hear him through the walls as he practised hour after hour.

He didn't play beautiful symphonic renditions; he repeated scales and runs and exercises, over and over and over. This began early in the morning and continued until the time of his concert. As he strolled on the stage that night, I'm sure many in the audience thought: "What a glamorous life!" Some glamour! I happen to know he spent the entire day in his hotel room with his cello.

I doubt if the job of being a mother and homemaker is more boring than most other jobs, particularly if a woman refuses to be isolated from adult contact. But no job can compete with the satisfaction of shaping and moulding and guiding a new human being.

From TODAY, Voices - Thursday, 10-June-2010
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Facing the winter

By Dr James Dobson

My mother and father were married for 43 years in one of the most beautiful, loving relationships the world has ever seen. When my mum turned 50, my father was beginning to think about the passage of time. And he wrote a wonderful poem on that day that he called, simply, Your Birthday. This is what he said:

The whole world singing, now that Spring has come.
I saw a robin in the morning sun.
Among the pale green leaves and bursting buds, I heard His talk.
But it is Autumn, where we walk.

‘Tis true for us, the Summer too is gone.
Now, whiplash winds arise, and further on
the ice and sleet and cold and grim assault to pierce us through.
Does Fall in Spring-time frighten you?

Impotent shines the April sun so fair,
to melt the wisps of frost within your hair.
My dear I know you feel the threatening gloom, but I’m with you
and hand in hand, we’ll face the winter too.

The winter did come for this man and woman, and they’re now both gone. But my dad kept his promise and they faced those difficult years together. Even the ageing process is easier, when it’s experienced in the context of love.

From TODAY, Voices - Wednesday, 09-June-2010
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When adolescents feel inferior

By Dr James Dobson

Imagine being depressed and miserable over the shape of your nose, or the texture of your skin or the colour of your hair.

Dissatisfaction with one's body is an experience that most adolescents live with every day. If you were to ask a hundred teenagers what they're most unhappy about, 80 per cent of them would describe some minor physical imperfection with which they're stuck.

They're either too tall or too short. Or they feel fat or too thin. Or that they hate the freckles on their nose. And most teenagers have heard about these perceived flaws from their peers – who often judge human worth strictly on the basis of physical attractiveness. At least a portion of the anger and frustration usually associated with adolescence can be traced to this vicious system of values that runs amok during the adolescent years.

In my book Preparing for Adolescence, I recommend that parents begin to teach a different system of values in the period immediately prior to adolescence. Make sure your kids understand that everyone feels inadequate between 13 and 18 years of age. And that the journey through this stressful time is simply a part of growing up. You can help diffuse the adolescent time-bomb if you take a few hours to brace kids against its blast. To not tell a 12-year-old what's coming is like sending him on a roller-coaster ride without knowing what's going to occur on the journey downward.

From TODAY, Voices - Tuesday, 08-June-2010
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Monday, June 21, 2010

Indoor Fun

By Dr Bill Maier

What do you do when you’re cooped up indoors with a bunch of bored kids? That’s easy — you get creative!

Instead of mindlessly flipping through the channels, hoping something decent is on, why not turn off the television and get busy having fun?

Try designing an obstacle course with pillows and chairs, and cardboard boxes. Get a stopwatch and see who can get through it the fastest.

After that, try a game of musical chairs, hide and seek or play your favourite board game. I’ll bet it’s more fun than you remember.

When’s the last time you played tag? Or jumped rope? There are tons of great indoor games to play if you’re willing to move furniture around and make a path in the middle of the room.

If all else fails, get the kids dancing to some energetic music. Anything is better than vegging out in front of the television on those bad-weather days.

From TODAY, Voices - Monday, 07-June-2010
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Thursday, June 24, 2010

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Monday, June 21, 2010