Setting Rules With Love

FOCUS ON THE FAMILY

 

From TODAY, Voices

Tuesday, 10-February-2009

 

By Dr James Dobson

 

How do you handle a rebellious teenager?

 

I recently received an email from a frustrated mother of two teenage girls. Her daughters were angry that they couldn’t attend some of their friends’ parties.

 

The mother was aware that there would be crude dancing and drinking going on at those parties, so she refused to let her girls go, making them even more rebellious.

 

I encouraged her to stick to her guns, but maybe change her approach. Kids respond much better to rules when they understand the reasons and the spirit behind them. I encouraged her to say something like: “You know how much I love you, and how horrible it would be to see you get hurt or get into trouble.

 

“You’re a good person, and a lot of the things that go on at these parties that are immoral and dangerous. Let’s think of something better to do instead.”

 

Kids need guidelines, but they also need to know how much we care.