British English vs Gapore English

Who says our English is teruk? Just see below.

Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-point, effective, etc.

 

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS

Britons: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size,

but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.

Asian: No Stock.

 

RETURNING A CALL

Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?

Asian: Hello, who page?

 

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY

Britons: Excuse me. I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?

Asian: S-kew me.

 

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY

Britons: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.

Asian: No-need, lah.

 

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION

Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?

Asian: (pointing the door) can ar?

 

WHEN ENTERTAINING

Britons: Please make yourself right at home.

Asian: Don't be shy, lah!

 

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE

Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.

Asian: Where got?

 

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER

Britons: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.

Asian: Don't want la...

 

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION

Britons: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from,

but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.

Asian: You mad, ah?

 

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE

Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.

Asian: Shut up lah!

 

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU

Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?

Asian: See what, see what?

 

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION

Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.

Asian: Die-lah!!

 

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED

Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?

Asian: Wat happen??? Why like that???

 

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG

Britons: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you…

Asian: Like that also don't know how to do!!!

 

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY

Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me?

Asian: Celaka u!