Thursday, June 21, 2007

Amigos - ¿para siempre?

¿Están los amigos para siempre?

¿Están los amigos para la vida?


Are friends for always?

Are friends for life?


I’ve always wondered to what extent a friend can be a friend.

We always find friends wherever we go. We have them at home.

Our family is first and foremost our circle of friends. We have them at work.

We have them in the community, be they our neighbors, or folks who have

the same hobby as us, or people who have the same interests, or simply

anybody we find ourselves comfortable with.


So what are friends? And to what extent are they our friends?


We’d always choose to have a special friend out of the multitude.

And this special friend know more of us than the rest. And vice versa.

But again, up to what level, both sides?


I’ve always admired my wife’s ability to sense extreme closeness,

and to introduce a certain gap and distance. Her reason? Shouldn’t be.


I understand. I also do the same, to be honest. I can be the closest of friends.

But I can’t lose my identity. I am still me. Or that my other close friend is still the other person.

In the process of time, yes, there will be assimilation and imitation to a certain degree.

But this cannot be a complete and final process. To me, each person is unique,

and no matter what closeness we enjoy with our friends, we remain the unique person

that we are. Our individualism should and need to be preserved.


So to what extent should our closeness be?


Who knows?


But this simple test I know works: if you cannot make decisions on your own anymore,

then tell your friend to “back off!”. If you cannot make plans without having to consult

your friends, wake up. If you go to a place and the first thing you look for are those close to you,

better make up your mind. Especially if the people you look for are not your family members.





At any point in time, you can be separated from your friends, perhaps for good.

But not from your family. You may go to a foreign country and be separated from your family,

but only for a while. You’ll return to them, or they follow you. Not always the case with your friends.

As you move around places, you always make new friends, like the way you suit up your clothes

from place to place.


Most importantly, at the worst times of your life, when you hit big problems,

the most affected people are not your friends, no! It would be your family members!

And who would extend the most help? Not your friends – definitely not! It would be

your family members. They will stick with you through thick and thin, wealth and want.


¿Amigos para siempre?


Yes! My family! Yes!


¿Amigos para vida?


You bet!

And don’t get me wrong. Make and have as many friends as you can, get close to them.

But make your family your best friends – para siempre, para vida.



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